Dirty Tagalog Jokes Novels & Stories

malamyang sagot ng iba. Bigla tuloy napakunot ang noo ni Teacher Fernando at matalim kaming tinignan. “I don’t like your tones! I already said not to slack off you greenhorns! Are you all dumb, stupid, or plain dumb!? Now, do you all understand!” I blinked multiple times. “Yes Teacher Fernando!” all of us intensely responded at same time. Wow grabe naman, talagang inulit pa yung salitang dumb ng dalwang beses. I can’t help but to shiver silently.

she questioned when she noticed my background changed. “Yes, I’m outside. I am at the office of my hilaw na husband,” I replied in a sarcastic tone of my voice when I mentioned ‘my hilaw na husband’. I used tagalog word ‘hilaw na’ so, they won’t understand me even they can hear me. (Hilaw means fake) “I see. Is it beautiful there?” she asked again, and she took a look at my back. “Average,” I briefly answered, and I stood to go to the window to let her see the beautiful view since I am at the high floor.

“You don’t have to mess with me, okay? Just admit I look extra beautiful when I’m full.” He smirked. “You cooked well.” My eyes widened as I realized what I’d just heard. "Wait, you’re speaking Tagalog?" He raised his fingers, thumb and index held slightly apart. "Just a little." I laughed so loudly, I had to cover my mouth. "I think I like this version of you, Jazper Ray Gibson. The multilingual, emotionally unpredictable one."

Mahina subalit may diin sa bawat katagang binanggit ko. Mas lalo pang nangunot ang kanyang noo matapos niyang maproseso sa kanyang utak ang lahat ng aking sinabi.Subalit maya-maya lang ay pagak na itong tumawa. "This is an Italian restaurant! So, ano ang ini-expect mo? Maghain sila ng Filipino dish at Delight Yoghurt drink?" Sarkastiko niyang saad na pawang pang-iinsulto ang naging dating saakin.

Kuya Welch: Oh, bawal umiyak, kinasal lang si Louvier hindi namatay HAHAHA. Enjoy reading, and please leave some comments and pa-vote na rin😊

Sarcastic kong tanong. Napangiti siya. "You can look at it, pero I have to make sure you're killed kapag may pinagsabihan ka ng mga nilalaman niyan." "Ganun kahalaga ang laman nito?" Hindi ko napigilan na tumawa sa sagot niya. Masyadong brutal ang nasa isip ng taong ito. "Joke lang!" Kengkoy nitong sagot pero hindi pa rin nawala ang pagkapormal ng kanyang aura. "These are the list of underground transactions. Walang dapat makakaalam na meron tayo nito."

"You have no idea–I was just joking around, but those disgusting guys went crazy asking me for your contact." The old me would have already been crying, asking her how she could do this to me, voice breaking. Not this me. My teeth clenched so hard they hurt. My whole body trembled with anger. I snatched the flyer out of her hand and slapped her across the face. Tara screamed, clutching her cheek in disbelief. "You hit me? I treat you like my best friend, and you can't even take a joke anymore?" Best friend? I let out a cold laugh.

He smiled and even clapped when at some of the lame jokes my collegue tried to pull off. Tahimik lang akong nakamasid sa sulok, papasa na ‘kong estatwa sa ayos ko sa totoo lang. Can’t balme me though, pilit ko pa ring kinukumbinse ang sarili kong ‘di n’ya narinig ang kahihiyan na ginawa ko kanina. S***a, Gen. Kung sa bingo purong-puro ka na.

The man replied and the grin on his lips widened. I raised an eyebrow at him and smiled at him foolishly. "Talaga? Parang hindi naman iyon ang narinig ko, parang ang sabi mo ata ay ang sarap kong k******n." I said and his eyes widened in shock. He was looking at me in disbelief. (Trans: "Really? That's not what I heard. If my memory serves me right, you said you wanted to fuck me.") "Y-You can you speak Filipino?" He asked and I just nodded in response, his eyes got even wider when he realized that I indeed can speak Filipino.

Siguro dahil dalaga na siya at binata na si Nimuel, mabilis maging sakto ang jokes nila sa isa’t-isa. Nauna pa silang umalis kina Vanessa, palibhasaý nakaligo ng maaga, nagbihis lang sila ni Nimuel at umalis na rin. “Hindi ka maliligo?” tanong ni Tala kay Nimuel “Hindi na nag-toothbrush naman ako eh, mabaho ba ako?” lumapit ang lalaki sa kanya para ipaamoy ang kilikili nito, umiwas naman ang dalaga.