Funny Girlfriend Joke Novels & Stories

Bradley Fry, my CEO husband, loves bringing his friends home for meals the most. He claims that this makes them feel like an actual family. As they drink in the feast I've whipped up for everyone, one of Bradley's friends comments smilingly, "I knew that you were a virtuous one, Emily! Now this is how the legitimate wife should act!" My expression doesn't falter as I ask in a half-joking manner, "Oh? Does Bradley have a spoiled and pampered mistress by his side, then?" His friends are stunned by my question. A trace of panic crosses their eyes simultaneously. But Bradley just wraps an arm around my shoulders with a smile. "Don't listen to their nonsense, Emily. Who else is worthy as my

Let me see you shout, yeh" The organizer said. "Yeh" Everybody yelled. "Go ahead and register your name now, if you have anything to present to us. Remember this is just for fun and there is no award. Just for fun" He said and everybody got to it. "I am going to be cracking a short old joke before the completion of the registration... A boyfriend escorted his girlfriend home and just as they got to their gate the boyfriend rested his two arms on the gate and wall and said, "I feel like eating you right now and enjoying you right this minute... Can I kiss you?". His girlfriend replied." No this is not the right place to do this. My family still thinks I am a Virgin and a saint. She kissed him

he said and I felt a wave of pure anger building up in me. "Did you just I'm blabbering? instead of you to say sorry you are here saying I'm blabbering, don't you think at all?, Uh?, I've been here for almost an hour, you ignored me all because of this useless thing!" I yelled furiously. "Did you know you're doing more than yourself, like did I just heard you calling my girlfriend a useless thing!?" he yelled back. A girlfriend? is he joking?. "You have a girlfriend?" I asked.

, I fake a smile. "Oh, really?" "Really!" I answer her loudly. "I am curious", she grins broadly. I find the stupid grin on her face annoying so I decide to speak up. "I am Jordan's girlfriend." "Oh!" She laughs mockingly, covering her mouth with her left hand and waving the other hand at me. "Sorry, I didn't mean to laugh." "Why are you laughing?" I rest my back more comfortably in the chair. I really want to know what she finds funny.

"A girlfriend then? You should wife her up quickly because you look like a gentleman." I shook my head. "I don't have a girlfriend either." "You must be joking." Her fork was thrown gently on the plate now. "A fling, maybe? A situationship or someone you can just point out that you have been with for some months or years." "Not a single one, mommy." "Are you sure you are not a monk?" "I am not." I laughed again. She was effortlessly funny with her expressions. Her phone suddenly started ringing. The laughter on her face wiped off immediately she saw the caller ID. I caught the name – Dear husband.

“Who are you?” Her expression became strong and stoic. “I should be the one asking you that. Who are you in Jacob's life?” My forehead creased as I proudly answered. “I am Jacob's girlfriend.” I was left tongue-tied when she burst in laughter. She's even shaking her head as if she cannot believe what I said. She stared at me after laughing. “Girlfriend?” She's mocking me. She laughed again. “You really don't know anything, do you?”

His girlfriend chuckled and hit him playfully on his chest. “That was brutal.” She said and they both laughed so hard like they were watching a hilarious scene from a comedy show.” “You both are just so shameless.” I sighed and searched my bag for my keys. His girlfriend looked at my tracksuit. “If shameless was a person, it would be you.. look at what you are wearing at this time of the day.” She stared at her wrist watch.” What the heck are you wearing?” Daniel laughed. “Well. Never mind. It's none of business.” his girlfriend added.

Amy snapped at the guy who immediately did as he was told. “Getting pregnant in college is not only disgusting, it gives this ‘loser vibes’,” one of her friends, the blondie blurted, air quoting the ‘loser vibes’. “It gets nastier when the baby belongs to your stepbrother. I mean, how do you even moan for him?” Everyone laughed like we were in a standup comedy show. Cassie giggled. “I think I know. You say, ‘Ahhh, bro, pound your sister's pussy, give me that family jewel.’” She laughed as she cracked the joke, clutching her stomach as if she was running out of air from laughing excessively.

The room went dead quiet when I said I would take the prize, but that quiet did not last. A second later, laughter thundered through the air. Lily Smith was the loudest, doubling over with tears streaming from her eyes. "How else could she be the top seller?" she cackled. "A woman like her has to have skin as thick as a rhino." I ignored her snide comments and kept my cool. "Just to be clear," I said, "since the company so generously 'rewarded' me with bathroom duty, that's all I'll be doing for the next three days. Everything else is off my plate."

He chuckles and tap my forehead, "She'll hear you." "I know," The kettle clicks, and I turn around. I'm tear between tapping that smirk off his face with my palm and tasting it. "I...It just takes some time to adjust to." "I'm just teasing," His hands are braced against the counter, caging me in between his body and the counter. "Well don't," I quip, "Only an idiot makes fun of his angry girlfriend. You don't get out of the doghouse by being an ass." "Was that a dog pun, Alora?"