I've Had Enough Novels & Stories

Actually ilang araw ko ng nararamdaman ito. "Can you just keep your fucking mouth shut? Ayos lang ako okay? Wala lang talaga akong gana ngayon." Irritableng sagot ko. Isa pang napapansin ko ay ang pagiging mainitin ng aking ulo these past few days.

said Mom. I only smiled, but this time I knew that it is not genuine. It’s painful to know that your best is always not enough. Whatever you do to make them proud and how much you try will still not enough and you can’t do anything about that. You can’t change their my mind. It’s somehow frustrating. Ano pa ba kasi dapat kung gawin para magbago tingin nila sa akin? Yumuko na lang ako at nagpatuloy sa pagkain.

Binigyang emphasis ang dalawang huling salita. Nagtiimbagang siya. Bakit ba nitong mga nakaraan ay palagi nitong binabanggit ang tungkol doon? "Wala itong kinalaman, ayoko lang maka-abala ako ng husto sayo, you did enough for me at that was enough." Mapakla itong nagpalatak. "Answer me this again Cyn, do fuck buddies also have this kind of boundaries?"

Hindi ako dapat magpadala. “I’m done here,” malamig kong sabi bago tumalikod, pinipigilan ang poot na naglalagablab sa dibdib ko. Hindi ko na kayang tiisin. Habang naglalakad ako palayo, ramdam ko ang kabigatan ng galit at hinanakit sa dibdib ko. Pero hindi ko puwedeng basta na lang isantabi ang lahat ng ito. Hindi ko hahayaang matapos ang usapang ganito lang — na parang wala akong halaga.

I want --I want more! Tinignan ko siya at nakatingin din pala ito sa akin, habang dinidilaan niya ang aking hiyas at patuloy na nilalabas-masok ang kaniyang daliri rito. Damn it! I can't take this anymore --too much --too much pleasure! "Make it, make it. Ahh!" I want to say something pero masyado na akong nadadarang sa ginagawa niyang pagpapaligaya sa akin --I saw him smirked.

I don't know anymore if I would try again. I'm so done being in pain. I'm so done feeling hurt. Don't I deserve even just a little bit of happiness?

Nananakit na rin ang buo kong katawan, hindi ko na kayang bumangon. How did I even end up in this situation? I feel so hopeless right now. I have become strong and I tried my best to get even stronger just to make him pay for what he did. But I feel like it was all for nothing, I feel really helpless. How did it even turn out this way? "Enough." Tumigil sila sa pagtadiyak sa'kin habang kasalukuyan akong nakahandusay sa sahig.

Sumisigaw na ako sa sobrang sakit at umiiyak dahil hindi ko alam anong gagawin para mawala 'yong sakit. I just wanna stop this pain, I can't take it anymore. ---------- Read.Vote.Comment © michiekelss

Hindi deserve nina mama ang ganon. Hindi ko tuloy ma pursue ‘yung passion ko dahil sa kakapusan ng pera. Why does it have to be me? Why us? I have plenty of dreams but I can’t seem to make them come true because we’re struggling financially. I’m obviously lying when I say that I’m content with my life because the truth is, I'm not.

I don't care anymore, this is an all or nothing game for me. "Arc..", hindi ko iyon pinansin, wala akong ibang kayang gawin ngayon kundi ang damhin ang napakalambot nyang katawan. I am so fucked up!!