Stand Up Comedy Teks Singkat

When the murderer tortures me to death, my criminal investigator dad and chief forensic pathologist mom are cheering at my brother's match. The criminal saws off my tongue. He answers my Dad's call with my finger. Just before the call ends, Dad's cold voice cuts through. "Playing dead, huh? We should never have brought him back." The murderer chuckles mockingly. "Looks like I grabbed the wrong kid. I thought they'd care more about their real son." When Mom and Dad arrive at the crime scene later, they stare at the mutilated body in shock and rage at the murderer's cruelty. But they never realize that the broken, bloodied body is their biological son.

My childhood sweetheart who promised to marry me the moment I graduated proposed to Camille Willow, my sister, during my graduation ceremony. At that moment, Dennis Malcolm, the most eligible and admired bachelor in Blington City's elite circle, stepped forward and confessed his love for me immediately after my childhood sweetheart's proposal was accepted. For five years after our marriage, Dennis showered me with devotion, treating me with such tenderness that it felt as though I were the center of his world. But everything shattered the day I overheard a conversation between him and his close friend. "Dennis, now that Camille's on top, are you really going to keep pretending with Tracy?" "It doesn't matter. I'll never have Camille. Besides, as long as I'm here, she'll never disrupt Camille's happiness," he answered. The paper notes he held dear, each one carefully preserved, revealed a harsh truth. Each one carried her name, accompanied by heartfelt wishes: "May Camille be released from her burdens. May she find peace within herself." "May Camille achieve all she dreams of, and may her heart love freely." "Camille, we were never meant to be together in this life. I can only hope that in another, we will walk side by side." … Five years of devotion shattered in a single moment of clarity. I crafted a false identity and planned an elaborate drowning to vanish without a trace. From this day forward, in this life and all others, we shall never cross paths again.

Hanya karena makeup flawless yang dipilihnya, Yasmin dituduh tak lagi perawan oleh suami dan ibu mertuanya. Dia bahkan langsung diceraikan saat itu juga dan harus pulang ke Jakarta sendirian! Namun, tanpa sengaja, Yasmin bertemu dengan seorang dokter yang ternyata adalah tetangga mantan suaminya. Pertemuan tak terduga itu ternyata membawa Yasmin untuk kembali tinggal di kampung Radit. Hal itu pun membuat mantan suami dan mantan mertuanya panas! Bagaimana kisah Yasmin, Dokter Radit, dan si mantan yang menalaknya karena hanya makeup?

I caught my boyfriend cheating. So I went to the one man he feared most—his father. But heartbreak turned into hate. And hate led me straight into Asher’s arms. Now I’m caught in something twisted and wrong… It was meant to hurt him. Still he won’t let me go without a fight. Asher Thompson isn’t just a father. He’s the man behind the mask. A mafian billionaire who hides his criminal empire beneath silk suits and polite smiles. And now, he owns me. I wanted revenge, to make Henry hurt. But each time Asher took me apart with a look. And every time I try to leave, he drags me deeper into his world of secrets and sin. He touches me like he owns me. He looks at me like I was made to be his. But I don’t know what’s worse, the pain Henry caused… Or how much I still feel for him, even while I’m in his father’s bed. And when the truth comes out? Someone’s going to bleed. And I’m not sure I want to survive it. This started with heartbreak. Now it’s war. And I’m the one holding the match.

My girlfriend's schoolmate is being hounded by creditors. In my past life, the same incident had unfolded before my eyes. I was worried that my girlfriend would provoke these ruthless creditors, so I'd advised her not to meddle. However, her schoolmate later overdosed on sleeping pills. Later on, my girlfriend acted as if nothing had happened and continued preparing for our wedding. But after she got drunk one day, I found her caressing his picture tenderly—before stabbing me in the heart with a knife. She claimed that if not for my indifference and selfishness, her schoolmate wouldn't have taken his own life. Now that I've been reborn, I'll grant her wish and let her help him pay off his debts. Presently, I say, "He's your schoolmate. If you can help him, go ahead. I won't object."

Isa si Earl Miguel Avelino Concha sa hinahangaang bachelor sa bansa. Nasa kanya na ang lahat kaya naman maraming mga babae ang naghahangad na mapansin niya. Ngunit ang binata ay may mahal na at walang iba kundi si Caroline Velasco Abad, isang sikat na modelo. Ngunit lingid sa kanyang kaalaman ay niloloko lamang siya ni Caroline sapagkat mayroon talaga itong totoong minamahal. Natuklasan ito ng kanyang kapatid na si Claire kaya naman agad niya itong sinumbong sa kanyang kuya Earl. Hindi naman naniwala ang binata sa kanyang nakababatang kapatid sapagkat alam nito na hindi talagang gusto ni Claire si Caroline para sa kanya. Alam ni Claire na wala nang magagawa ang pagsasabi niya ng katotohanan sa kuya Earl niya dahil head over heels ito sa nobyang si Claire at saka magaling ding magpaikot ang huli. Kaya naman umisip na lang siya ng paraan kung paanong hindi matutuloy ang kasal ng kanyang kuya at ng nobya nito.

Isang mainit na gabi, ang unang pagkakamali ko. But the hell I care? Dinala ako sa langit ng lalaking iyun, magpabebe pa ba ako? sh*t gabi gabi kong hinahanap ang katawan ng lalaking iyun kaya gabi gabi akong bumalik sa bar para sa kanya. Doon ko lang rin siya makita sa bar sa gabi. Nanlaki ang mata ko ng makita ang news at nakita ko ang mukha ng ng lalaki, he's a billionaire!? the hell! may asawa ba yan!? Mabilis kong sinearch ang pangalan sa internet. Oh, single but delikado parin ang buhay natin sa lalaking iyan. Iiwasan ko na yan, hindi na ako babalik sa bar. Every night hinanap siya ng aking katawan pero tiniis ko lahat at ako nalang ang nagpapaligaya sa sarili ko. Hanggang sa nahanap ng lalaki ang condo ko. Umaga, tanghali, gabi man ginawa namin iyun pero syempre nagiingat kami lalo na ako! lugi ako pag may makatakas na sperm. Pag bumisita iyun wala kaming ginawa kung ang painitin ang isa't isa. Sa kusina, kwarto, sa hagdanan, sa sofa.. kahit saang sulok sa condo ko. Ngayon naiisipan niyang gawin namin iyun sa iba't ibang lugar, like beach, hotel at marami pa. Sino naman ako para tumanggi diba? argh! Pero hindi ko inakalang tumibok na ang puso ko para sa kanya. Hindi na ang katawan ko ang naghahanap sa kanya, ang buong pagkatao ko na. Delikado ako pero anong magagawa ako? napapasaya niya ako, hindi naman ako. Napapasaya ko rin siya. Fubu lang ang relasyon pero ginusto ko to, panindigan ko.

(SPG WARNING! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!) Matapos ang isang hindi inaasahang one night stand, nagkasalubong muli ang landas nina Mariah Isla Ledesma at Dominic Camero sa isang pagkakataon na hindi nila inaasahan. Inalok ni Isla si Dominic ng isang part-time job bilang personal assistant at driver, sa akalang siya’y isang simpleng lalaki na may sapat lang na kinikita sa isang araw. Hanggang sa tumagal, unti-unting nauwi ang kanilang boss-employee relationship sa pagiging fuck buddies. Ngunit ano ang mangyayari kapag nalaman ni Isla na ang lalaking pinapasahuran niya ay mas mayaman pa sa kanya? Could this be the beginning of a love story they never saw coming, or will unexpected challenges put their connection to the test?

A young boy found himself always speaking with a man in his dreams, little did he know his life would change drastically as he opened his body to the man who identified himself as his true self and the destined on to save the supernatural realm of Zelda Ocarina.

Xander Martin is a man with a reputation to uphold. He's handsome, rich, young, smart and... Cassanova. It's no secret that he likes to spend time with rich women. In fact, the whole town knew he didn't want to sleep with the same girl twice. But everything changed when he accidentally had sex with a girl. Frustrated that the girl is not the hired girl he thought he was, Xander accuses her of being a spy sent by his business rival to destroy him. So, is the accusation true? Did Xander succeed in finding the girl? The most important final question, who exactly is that woman?