Stupid Pick Up Lines Novels & Stories

Her lips were big; fake but that didn't matter because I didn't care if it was fake or real but whatever it may be, I'm having those wrapped around me tonight. Fuck! I cursed again as I almost came to that wild thought. When I finally got close to her, she was smiling at me. "You are a goddess" I started, hitting it off with my pickup line that worked like magic at all times. Only lame guys start with shit like, *what’s your name, beautiful?* "Is that what you tell those girls that make them remove their panties?" She asked. From there I knew it wouldn't be easy trying to….. "Because it just worked on me" She finished her sentence and I smiled, knowing I'd hit the jackpot again.

I wanted to chastise him for his arrogance, but I appreciated the attention and the ego boost. “Do you have a name, or can I just call you ‘mine?’” the guy continued with his cheesy pickup lines. I wanted to laugh but I put my hands on my hips instead, raised my eyebrows, and stuck my chin up in the air. “Do these pickup lines ever work for you?” I haughtily asked. I stammered, but I schooled my expression in neutrality fairly quickly.

“Duh mister, I won't introduce you with someone who's just sixteen or seventeen years old, what is that pedophile? But of course, age doesn't matter for those who truly love each other” "Naks pick-up line ma'am?" "Yes you want me to pull your testicles?" “What the—”, hahahahahahahahaha I really can't stop laughing What is this woman saying? It's so gross hahahahahahahahaha "Hehe just a joke, but do you know Alexa Eunice Wilzt?" “H-Ha? Who's that?" "Oh hehe you can't fool me mister, you're obvious, so how did you meet her?"

his voice was smooth and small but I’d rather turn to stone than turn to look at him. He knew me so well, he didn’t wait for me to turn towards him. He walked towards me and stood in front of me where he knew I couldn’t turn away. The sun had gone down, a once glorious promising day had turned to a nightmare. “I’m sorry,” he spoke softly and my teeth bared in anger. He was sorry? “I promise, it’s not what you think,” he said. The same age old pick up line men said after doing something irreparably foolish.

I can’t believe I called my one and only crush a wall! You piece of poop. Summer you should go and see the doctor. Oh.. I know, you should go home and eat your moms cake and play call of duty.. Yeah, that will help me for sure. Gahh!! if only I kept my freaking mouth shut, none of this would have happened but no.. Ms. clumsy here is one stupid person who can’t control her stupid mouth of hers.

‘Huh? Alex – ‘I am working on my pick-up lines. How is this?’ ‘Pathetic.’ I replied honestly. The swift topic change didn’t go unnoticed by me. ‘How about this – Are you Siri? Because you autocomplete me.’ I couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at reading it. A billionaire working on pickup lines? Just wave some dollars in front of her and she’ll be all yours. ‘You can do better. Why working on it though? For Diana?’

“Oh, I’m sorry, are you trying to make me fall for you? Is that what this is?” I burst out laughing and rolled my eyes. “If it’s really not obvious then I’mgoing6 to have to bring back the pick-up lines.” “You like those lines, huh? Do they work for you a lot?” she asked, taking a sip of her wine as the waitress set it on the table. I nodded in answer. “Usually they never fail. You’re really denting my ego here, cupcake. Maybe you should cut me a little slack.” “Hmm, I don’t think so. Where would be the fun in that? You know you love me rejecting you.” She narrowed her eyes at me playfully as she leant back in her chair and studied her menu.

The worst chat up line in history. That was the instant I threw a shoe at him. And found him adorable. He dropped to his knees, hands in the air, and exclaimed, “I’m so sorry! Shit! When I get nervous, I say the most inappropriate...Shit! How am I meant to talk sense when you look like that?” “Like what?” “A beautiful, hopefully very forgiving Goddess! Let me start over? No more shoes?” Stood in the room, my arms folded, another shoe of Cass’s ready to launch at him I’d not succumbed.

I sigh sadly. "I feel like a library card since I've been totally checking you out!" He exclaims, again. "Did you notice that I'm like a best seller? Currently unavailable." I raise my eyebrow. "If you were a McDonald's burger, you'd be the McGorgeous." Lame Alert! "Thanks, Ronald, but I've already talked to enough clowns tonight." I scoff. "Excuse me, does this napkin smell like chloroform to you?" "Not as much as that pick-up line smells like desperation." I laugh so loud after this.

"Not without a kiss" "Have you gone mad?" "Yes, in your love" "Ha, ha, ha... Very funny! It is a very cheezy and old line. Try something new" "I don't know anything. I want a kiss otherwise I won't cut the call" "It's ok then I would disconnect"