Thoughts Words Novels & Stories

Iiwan niya ba ako dito at tatakas habang buhay? Umaalingawngaw sa aking isipan ang mga salitang "Our target is she", na umaalingawngaw sa isang nakakaligalig na katotohanan. My thoughts race, my mind consumed with fear, until Stanford's voice pulled me from the whirlwind of panic.

“Congratulations! You are two weeks pregnant!” Anim na salita ngunit sobrang laki ng epekto. Hindi ko akalaing itong anim na salita ang magpapabago ng buhay ko. Totoo ngang words are powerful. Words can influence us, inspire us, or just easily bring us to tears. Itong mga salitang ito ang nagpa-inspire sa akin at binigyan ako ng lakas para mabuhay ulit. Sobra ang impact nito sa aking buhay.

Pero bakit hindi n'ya ipinaalam sa akin agad kung alam n'ya kung anong nangyayari sa'kin? Matatanggap ka kaya ng Daddy mo, baby ko? Ipinilig ko ang ulo para mawala ang negative thoughts na sumisira sa isip ko. Sigurado naman ako na matatanggap ka ng ama mo, baby. Pero kinakabahan pa rin ako na ipaalam sa kanya. Dahil kahit gaano pa malaki ang positive thoughts na meron ka, kahit napakaliit na negative thought lang ang ikinababahala mo, mas matindi pa rin ang impact nito sa kabuuan ng positive thingking mo.

i t-thought, hindi mo gugustuhing magkaanak. I..i thought you don't want to be a father. You see, you're a businessman, you--" Pilit niyang paliwanag ngunit pinutol nito kung ano man ang sasabihin niya "You're always thinking negative thoughts about me! About us! Hindi mo muna ako tanungin. You never let me enter in your heart." Nanghihinang napaupo ito sa lapag. "You never let me enter in your life. You never let me." Mahinang

Afterall, it's a goddamn game for them—picking their bets. Madaling araw pa lang kanina ay maaga na akong nagising at nag-ikot. Kumuha ako ng mga boxes sa pag-aakalang mayroon kaming makukuha. At hindi ako nabigo. I got 10 boxes. I have spelled the words. Those one of the most difficult words. I almost missed it but as I closed my eyes, jumbled letters began to flow like pixie dusts forming a word. It's like a magic but It's not fantasy. It is sensory, a thought experiment. It is science. I have spelled Laconic, Quiescence, Assuage, Buttress, Antipathy, Diatribe and others. It's like words are my meals. Our meals.

Sakto dahil wala ako sa mood. Pinagmasdan ko ang paligid habang pinapakinggan ang maingay na utak ko. How come I have a lot of thoughts in my head but I can’t speak them out? What’s the use of those deep and dark thoughts then? I feel like I need to write those things but I suck at words. The clouds are already orange mixed with yellow and pink colors. Those colors look so bright but I can’t enjoy them. Again, I began blaming the past.

(Abby) The first step of freedom is when we understand that our thoughts create our life. What you think is what you manifests. And I want my self to be free. To free from the things that bothers me. At para tuluyan akong makalaya, kailangan ko rin palayain ang mga salita na matagal ko nang gustong pakawalan. A single thought whether positive or negative, becomes a powerhouse when we believe it.

Words without actions are meaningless but actions without words has no assurances. ••• TBC.

Ang hirap kayang magtiwala lalo na sa impakto na tuso na 'yon. Tumawa ito nang naaaliw. "Sus. Sa tingin ko, mukhang wala naman siyang binabalak na masama at pinaplano.” “Paano mo namang nasabi, aber? Nabasa mo ba at narinig ang thoughts niya?”

Hindi umaabot sa dalawa o tatlo, at mas lalong hindi sabay-sabay kung iisipin ko mam. Tonight and right now, it felt as if it is a spreading wildfire, completely leaving my mind so full of thoughts I didn't know I could possibly house within my brain. It's like an endless web of turns without breaks. Tuloy-tuloy na kumakalat, lumalago.