Unsettling Novels & Stories

Hindi ko naman masydong kita kung may tao kasi may kurtina naman. Impossible namang maakyat itong kwarto ko e ang taas nito. Tumayo ako at dahang-dahang pinuntahan ang sliding window. Kahit na kinakabahan ay nag patuloy parin ako. Hinawi ko ang kurtina sa sliding window at nakitang may lalaking nakatayo dun. The hell is he doing here at this hour.

Pero bakit niya ako pinapahirapan? Napalunok ako. She tilted her head and made her neck exposed. Napatitig ako doon. Hindi ko naigalaw ang mga kamay kong nakahawak sa zipper. Naramdaman ko ang unti-unting pagtayo ng aking alaga. Tumayo ang mga balahibo ko. "Ano pang ginagawa mo? Ibaba mo na 'yong zipper!" utos niya.

Hindi ko siya napansin kanina. "S-sorry!Hindi ko napansing may nauna na pala dito.Im sorry to disturb you."paliwanag ko. "No,it's okay.Just do your things here.Aalis na rin naman ako." Tumayo siya at kinuha ang libro na nakalapag sa sahig ng semento.Nagulat ako kung gaano siya katangkad.Skinny lang ang kaniyang katawan pero makikita mo kung gaano siya katikas.Malumanay ang kaniyang mga mata na animo'y nang-aakit.Malaki at buo ang kaniyang boses,lalaking lalaki ito pakinggan.

I feel uneasy pero nilakasan ko pa rin ang loob ko na puntahan siya sa office niya. I can't even understand kung bakit ganito na lang ako ka kabado. I knocked twice before he answered back. What does his office look a like? A mess? A playroom? Takbo ng isip ko pero agad ko rin itong pinawi. "Come in." He plainly answered after my knocks. I hesitately open his door and get in. Ramdam ko rin ang panlalamig ng aking mga kamay pero di ko na lamang iyon pinansin.

Bakit kasi ang hirap hindi magustuhan ng kagaya niya? “It’s just if we hurry into marriage then they would think there’s something wrong. Aaron and Candice are also getting married. Nakikipagsabayan nga sila sa atin, e…” ani ko. “It’s just for two months…” “But you’re starting to show.” “Doesn’t matter. I’m petite, so they wouldn’t think I am pregnant.” “Yeah, so I should feed you a lot of food.” He smirked. I smiled a little, trying not to be affected by his joke.

Sino bang hibang ang pipiliin na makasama ang babaeng emotionally unstable at palaging panakot ay ang kanyang pagpapakamatay? The novelty of being with Melissa has been completely worn away by the bad things that have happened in recent days. It was exciting, and Melissa threatened to jump off the building to scare him. The psychological pressure Warren was under that day was really great. He didn't want to be responsible for a life. No one would want such excitement. When the tide of lust receded, he looked at the message from Melissa on his phone and found that he didn't even want to pay attention to her. Nawalan na siya ng gana.

Parang may kung anong magnetic field ang humihila sa akin na gawin iyon. Inayos ko na lamang ang kaniyang pagkakahiga sa aking dibdib, upang mayakap ko siya ng maayos. Damn it! Bakit ganito? For the first time in my life, I just want to free my mind from all the stressful things and just sleep peacefully together with this beautiful goddess soundly sleeping in my arms. Ngayon ko lang ito naramdaman, fuck!

Always. But I know too well. Hindi naman talaga ito pagod. Hindi ito yung exhaustion na dulot ng puyat, ng paghabol sa target, ng adrenaline crash pagkatapos ng operasyon. Kayang-kaya kong harapin ’yon. Kayang-kaya kong banggain ang anumang panganib nang walang reklamo. But this feeling is creeping inside me? This slow, unsettling sensation na parang may kung anong unti-unting bumabalot sa dibdib ko, na hindi ko maintindihan kung saan nanggagaling? That’s new. And I hate new things I can’t control.

Hindi rin ito malakas ang coherence pressure tulad ng destabilizing synchronization fields. Sa katunayan, halos kabaligtaran ito. Ang resonance nito ay sobrang diffuse, sobrang fluid, na mahirap matukoy kung saan nagsisimula o nagtatapos ang “sarili” nito. “It doesn’t maintain stable identity boundaries,” sabi ni Varek habang sinusuri ang pattern analysis. “Maybe it’s fragmented?” tanong ng isang analyst. Umiling si Mara. “No. Fragmentation creates instability.”

Gumaya rin siya at tinignan ang paligid. Bumilog ang mga labi niya. "A-aray, biglang sumakit ang tyan ko. Saan ba ang restroom?" Tumayo na ito at may paghawak pa sa tyan na umalis. Mas lalo akong napa-facepalm sa acting niyang halatang halata. "I don't know what you're planning woman, but it's not gonna work for me," malumanay na sabi ni Axel and sip through his glass.