Why Am I So Ugly Mga Nobela at Kwento

I don't like attention. Parang hindi ko kasi makita ang sarili ko na hinahayaan ang mga tao na punahin ang kung ano mang bago sa mukha ko, o kahit na ano pa mang nag-eexist sa sarili ko. I don't think I'll be able to understand other people's thought about getting a lot of compliments or even having a lot of fun stuff on their social media accounts. F******k lang nga ang meron ako, eh. Hindi ko talaga kayang ipalandakan ang pagmumukha ko and besides, hindi naman ako artista. "Ganda mo, Solemn!"

(BEAUTY'S POV) Inayos ko ang suot kong maid uniform. Napasulyap ako sa orasan. Ang bilin sa'kin ni Nanay Neri ay huwag lumapit sa mga ka edad ko dahil paniguradong may gulo na namang mangyayari. Minsan naisip kong sirain ang mukha na meron ako. Hindi maiiwasang lapitin ako ng mga lalaki. At iyon ang siyang isa rin sa mga problema ko. Hindi ko kailanman iniisip na maganda ako. Pero maraming nagsasabing mala-dyosa raw ang kagandahang taglay ko. Which is really suit my name, Beauty.

“Stop.. you look ugly.” Natatawang pinunasan ko ang luha sa gilid ng aking mata. Nilahad ko ang aking kamay para magpatulong sa pag-angat pero dahil siya nga si Fcking Rouge ay hindi niya 'yon gagawin. Kahit ata madulas at tumama ang ulo ko sa kanto ng lamesa ay hindi siya mag-eeffort na tulungan ako. “Sama ng ugali mo, masyado kang pintasero,”

From the way I carry myself in front of the cameras to the way I have always been confident about how I look. Nagsisinungaling ako kung sasabihin kong hindi ako napapagod sa kung paano nila ako tratuhin, dahil isang maling gawa ko lang ay alam kong mag-iiba ang tingin ng marami sa akin. They'd be disappointed in me because they've always seen me as a perfect human being, whereas in reality, I'm scarred and wounded.

Hangad ko lang na sana hindi na siya sinasaktan ni Tisoy. Napatingin ako sa reflection ko sa glass wall. Ang laki na ng itinangkad ko. I’m not clean as white anymore. Sobrang dungis ko at may mga rashes ako all over my body, nalalagas na din ang mga balahibo ko, and I’m too skinny. Anyone who sees me avoids me and look at me like I’m a monster. I can’t blame them, I look like this and we live in a world that is full of judgement.

"What the hell are you talking about?" "Oh, so you're going to pretend that you have no idea what I'm talking about? Are you that…. Arrrrgh!"Nakakainis. Kumukulo dugo niya rito. "...I maybe not the same with your so many girlfriend and fling who has a supermodel kind of body, but for the love of God, will you stop making me feel so undesirable and ugly... and fat and make me hate myself and lower my self confident? That's bloody terrible." Wika niyang parang may sasabog sa dibdib niya ngunit talunang napasandal sa upuan at tumulo ang luha. Ang sakit sakit sa dibdib, parang sasabog sa sakit, di niya mawari kung bakit ba siya nasasaktan. Bakit nga ba?

gulat niyang tanong. I sighed. "I can't let anyone see that side of me." Uminom siya ng tubig at muling tumingin sa akin. "What side?" "Don't ask the obvious, Zev. Of course, the ugly side of me!" Iritable kong sagot. "Why not?" "No one would want to befriend someone who is ugly, Zev Keagan." He leaned against the chair while drinking water. "Really?" He asked and flashed an annoying smirk.

Tuwing may nakikipag-tarayan sa akin ay palaging pinupuna na porket maganda raw ako ay ganito, ganiyan na ang pinaggagawa ko. What the f— Hay! Maganda ba talaga ako? I mean, I know that I look okay. But why do people hate my face so much? Ano pa pala kung girly type girl ako na palaging in game sa ganda-gandahan, diba? Buti na lang pala at masc type ako pumorma. Ewan ko ba!

I will never forget that. I immediately looked at her when she sat down on the side of Chave. She's beautiful and I admit it. Well, I'm beautiful too but in my own way. We all beautiful in our own way and our own uniqueness. The only one who makes us ugly is the judgemental society and the only person who can pull us down is ourselves. No one else.

But being alone doesn't mean I'm lonely. "And most of all, it's embarrassing to say but I admit that I can't accept that you're more beautiful than me." Napanganga naman ako sa sinabi niya. I was stunned by what she said. I feel like my jaw is going to fall off. What kind of reason was that? Does she hear what she is saying? Why did she have to get insecure? She's already good as it is and that's enough to feel grateful. "I'm sorry because I called you 'ugly'. But believe me, totoo ang mga sinabi ko ngayon," she continued.