Zombie Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

They called him a gentleman for not hurting her with fists or kicks. Hunter flashed his white teeth to her, which struck her like a dart. "Tut tut, the virus rotted more than your skin. Your teeth and hair... They're gone. It wouldn't be wrong to call you a zombie, you know. Except that you're looking uglier than a zombie." Zara squeezed her eyes shut to unsee that expression he was sporting. "That's all you can do, loser. Laugh."

I shook my head and went to sit across Audrey. She was laughing at the quotes on the wall. “These are hilarious,” she said, reading one aloud: ‘I don’t need you to brag about me, I just don’t want you to deny me in front of people. – FART!’ Her laughter burst out, filling the café. I just stared, completely captivated. Every laugh, every sparkle in her eyes, it was contagious. “Here’s another one!” she giggled. ‘What a life! Eggs every single day… eggs, eggs, eggs… Do you know who said that?’ Her eyes gleamed mischievously.

Life’s so unfair, man. “What does a spoon matter when we’re literally stuck in the middle of the woods with invisible monsters, shady, bad men and whatever else creeps around here? Can you please, for once, use your brain and kick some sense in the gear?” He whisper-hisses, so red in the face, he reminds me of a tomato. “You could join a casting for vegetable commercials looking like this,” I remark and laugh at the brilliant joke my brain just reacted. Shit, am I not the funniest guy out there? Look at me - sense of humor, looks, body and an impressive spoon collection, I have it all, damn it. No wonder my little vixen couldn’t deny me.

Evelyn muttered, both of us stopping midway in the hall thinking about how beyond fantasy world is hidden with. "Zombies are definitely real because you look like one, sis." Ivy chuckled weirdly, looking me from top to bottom. "Even bloody mary exists because of you, sickeningly brothers," I growled, punching him in the gut. He hissed, rubbing the sore part as he shot me a glare. I stuck my tongue out at him, hitting him with the purse one last time before I sprinted away.

– One of a man in his late thirties said to the six other people around him “Hah! Being killed? Old Yao, you’re already dead!” – One of the men in their early twenties said as he laughs The man who was called Old Yao said, “Damn you! I’m not dead! I only turn into a zombie, I can still be killed, you idiot. If I really get killed this time, then it’s the end of me.” “Since you already feel afraid just by standing in front of the supermarket door indicates that the person who has that tarrying presence that you felt is clearly stronger than us. I just don’t know how a human could become that so much strong.” – A man sitting on the single sofa said

Zombie "Sorry for my misconduct, my name is Jeffrey but call me Zombie." Johnson "Mine is Johnson, nice to meet you!" Zombie " Pleasure is mine, nigger!" We soon got along and talked about alot of things, though he may be weird but he was an interesting fellow, but he had one strange habit, whenever he was talking, he would be rubbing his hair backwards, What's up with that?. Zombie " I seen you before! Always minding ur business, its good man! But you need to have some fun!" Johnson " Trust me, I've had lots of fun before coming here, I just want to study!"

“You are the only person who has ever really listened without making it weird,” Zack admits, his voice dropping to a lower register. “Everyone else either starts crying or tries to give me inspirational quotes or something.” The wind rustles through a nearby oak branches overhead while they sit in comfortable silence for a moment. “Inspirational quotes,” she echoed. “That is a new one. What like ‘hang in there’ cat posters? Weird.”

Zoe asked, not understanding the humor of the joke. "Of course." "Hmnn. Because it has boring and difficult equations?" Zoe answered suggestively, still trying to think of a suitable answer. "No," Zara chuckled, her long eyelashes blinking so rapidly, "Because it has too many problems," she spilled. "Oops. That is quite funny," Zoe mentioned, chortling softly the more she understood the relation of the joke to the answer Zara gave her. "One more," Zara said again. "Okay," Zoe answered with great interest, while she finally began to drink from the glass of drink that had been offered to her.

"Pregnancy has become disadvantage to you, Kitcat...I bet he'll tell you the grass is too green for you to step outside tomorrow." "Shut up, Liam. I'm not trying to make jokes." "And see...your pregnancy has become a disadvantage to me too...look at him snapping at me because of a fetus." "I'd advise you to shut your mouth, Liam...his face is getting red, it's about to swell...he's transforming into..." "Angry bird!" Liam and Fredd bursted out into hysterical laughing at their apparently funny joke...but Zillon didn't seem to find it funny, he was as serious as judge. "F*cking idiots..."

Zeke said and glanced left and right at the bar, looking for the bartender. "The Mummy, Creature from the Black Lagoon, the Thing…" If you think about it, a zombie isn't very original. It's like a mix between a vampire and Frankenstein's Monster—undead and butt-ugly. By the way, why do you think zombies like eating human brains?" "Because brains taste delicious." "Really? Have you tasted brains before?" "Course not. I'm not a zombie." "You are sometimes, my friend. It's like you don't have feelings at all. You're numb and indifferent about most things that happen in the Colony."