The Girl Who Wore a Boy’s Shadow เด็กชายในเงาของเธอ

WINTER:  

My heart was racing as I struggled to walk towards my husband's bed as I finally confirmed that I had no incurable disease. Just like how Mother died. 

My fears and confusion were now cleared and I felt the relief I had been longing for. 

Another thing was that I was with a child. My greatest blessing. My husband and I will be going to be parents soon.

Would Calcifer be happy? I hoped he did. This was our goal so far—a baby that would inherit everything he built so far. 

I'm going to protect my baby for as long as I can. 

"Everything is clear, Miss Winter. I already checked everything and nothing is to be worried about," I remembered my doctor said when I finally had the guts to visit the hospital. 

Our family had been carrying an incurable disease which had been passed from generations to generations. The females would die at the age of thirty years old and now that I was already thirty years and that nothing happened to me, I decided to visit the doctor. 

If I should have known, I should have been at the hospital a couple of months ago and not let my heart sway with fear. 

Now...I had a fair chance that I will live. With my husband—Calcifer.

My heart warmed as I remembered him. He made coffee for me while making sure that I was not cold during the night. And when he saw that I was shivering, he would draw me close to his body and lull me to sleep. 

"Calcifer, I am so sorry," I whispered inside my head when I remembered how I treated him these past few months. 

It had been only a few months since I grew distant from him. 

"You can tell me what's wrong, pumpkin," he asked one time when he found that I was near the window, looking outside. "Shutting me off is not like you. You're my wife now and together we can fix everything."

He was only pretending, right? There was no way someone would accept me if my father was not a billionaire. Calcifer married me because of the money we have. 

Glancing over my shoulder, I spat, "Stop pretending that you care about me! You only married me because of our money."

He was taken aback at my statement and realizing it now, how I wished I had said sorry that time. That I didn't mean it. That I want to attune myself for everything that happened. 

Calcifer...I could sense he was full of questions as to why I was acting like that.

It had only been a year since we married each other. It was a marriage of convenience. With his family's real-estate company on verge of filing for bankruptcy, due to mismanagement. Calcifer's father got involved in gambling. Some money was gone without proper documents. 

Embezzlement. 

The investors started to lose confidence in the company and started withdrawing their shares, but Calcifer, one of the promising businessmen, had stepped in and tried to save their company. 

Calcifer approached Father to help them, but then Father said the only way he could help them was that he married me. 

Calcifer.

That man was my sunshine when I was drowning in misery and fear. 

I was only hiding it, but I loved him so much. I admit that I did not love him at first, thinking he was only after our money, but when I started to know him well, of how ambitious and good he was to me, I could not help but fall for him.

Clutching my chest, I stopped in front of Calcifer's room. No. Our room. I will tell him how sorry I was for the past few months. I will come clean and tell him the real reason. The results were in the car so that he will believe me. 

As I was about to twist the knob, when I heard something that forced me to stop.

"The divorce paper is here with me. This has been with me for quite some time now." 

Calcifer's voice. Who was he talking to? Maybe his sisters? 

"I'm sure of this one. I've never been sure. I have been thinking about it for quite some time."

Divorce paper? Who is getting a divorce? His sister? Calcifer had a big family composed of seven sisters. He was the only who was a man and the eldest top of the  Peterson family so he was the one who was forced to save his family from bankruptcy. 

In short, he became the sacrificial lamb that was offered to our family because father only wanted me to experience the feeling of how it would love someone until my last breath—at the age of thirty. 

"I know. I know. We have not talked about this. I don't know how to start. I don't know if I have the will to tell her." At least he sounded worried and not happy about the divorce. "A lot has been going on in her mind these past few months. She looked like a stone. She lost her warmth and looked like nothing but a doll. She's scaring me."

Scaring him? Me? How did I scare him?

It was not like I forced him against his will. 

I leaned on the wall as my heart started to race. 

Calcifer was not talking about our marriage, right? He was not?

I admit I was not a good wife to him for the whole year. I was drowning in my own sadness and misery as well as the misery that I won't be with my husband for a long time,  forgetting that I should live in the moment and should not allow the past to taint our relationship.

"I'm going to divorce Winter. This evening. I already thought about it a couple of times and then I finally made up my mind."

My heart raced violently as I struggled to breath.

I paled. 

He was going to divorce me? Why? Did he no longer want our family's money? His father was facing a lot of charges against him. The investor's lost their trust in their family. And without us, his family would be in ruin. He still needed us. 

"Yes. Yes. I know I owe it to her that the company is back again to its feet and is stable now, but I'm no longer happy with her. She's..."

I automatically covered my mouth when a sob nearly broke out.

Calcifer was going to divorce me because he was no longer happy. 

Could I blame him? No. It was my mistake from the beginning. I forgot that I still had duty as his wife. He had needs even if there was no love in the beginning. 

I stared at the ceiling as my eyes simmered with tears. I don't want to divorce him. Calcifer…I loved him. He was the only man whom I loved. 

Is this the right time to let him go?

Still...it hurt the most. 

The door suddenly opened.

"Pumpkin?"

I whipped my head to where he was standing. 

Pumpkin. 

Hearing him call me pumpkin every passing day was one of the happiest days of my life. But now...hearing him call me brought nothing but pain in my life.

I am no longer happy with her.

Those words kept on ringing in my head. 

I deserved that. 

"Calcifer."

I forced myself to smile as my gaze landed at the folder he was holding. Probably the divorce paper that he would ask me to sign. When everything was already fine, when I was more than ready to spend the rest of my life with him, Calcifer had given up on our marriage. When I already planned to live my life to the fullest, without getting afraid, Calficer had given up on me.

"Yes. What's up? Have you eaten lunch?" I tried to make my voice as cheery as possible, but failed. 

Calcifer's expression softened. 

I wanted to hug him and say sorry so that he would change his mind. I did not want to let him go. 

"Are you done visiting your father?" he asked, not answering my question. "You return earlier than I expected."

Maybe that was the reason he did the call, thinking I would never listen to the conversation. 

Ah, yes. He thought I was visiting Father because I was home sick. I never told him about the sickness in our family. No one talked about it except for a few family members. Others fear that if their significant others will find out about it, they will run and never come back.

Who would marry someone who would die when she reached thirty years old? No one. 

"Y-Yes, I did. He is fine." I visited my doctor and said I had no cancer cells. That everything was clear and that I should have nothing to worry about. "What's in your hand?"

As if remembering he was holding something, he hid it in his back. "T-This is nothing."

"Is that our marriage certificate?" I asked, even if I already had an idea what was in that folder. Our divorce paper. 

You can tell me the truth, Calcifer. I will understand. 

But instead of telling the truth, he said, "Y-Yes. This is our marriage certificate." And he averted his eyes.