やり直せますか？冷戦3年越しの愛に謝罪

PRESENT:

Nervously, I fumble with my seat belt. My hands are sweating, though it is air-conditioned. I haven't eaten anything for fear of vomiting. My mind is blocked. I want to jump out of the plane before it takes off.

I sit on the plane for the first time. This is gonna be hell hours. Frankly, it doesn't matter. This stupid seatbelt isn't gonna help me. I frown deeply, resting my head back and stare up at the white ceiling.

"Let me help you, ma'am. " A gorgeous air hostess says in her sweet voice.

Before I could reply to her, she did it instantly. I'm feeling stupid. I could not tie a seat belt.

" Thanks, " I smile, looking up at her.

" My pleasure, ma'am. " She smiles and walks away in her pointed heels.

The breakup has killed my interest in living and enjoying my life. I curse Rita under my breath. Why can't she get her marriage functions done in India? I put my head between my knees when the plane began on the runway. I don't think I could survive it.

( FIVE YEARS AGO )

I lit the display of my phone, the battery was full, the signal of the network was full, the phone was looking healthy. It had been six months completed. He might make a call at any time. I kept my phone in my hand, instead of dropping it in my handbag. I didn't wanna miss his call and lost the opportunity to talk to him. I was eagerly waiting for it.

After all, We were going to talk to each other after one month. last time we talked on the cell phone, on 28 February, When his ship must have found its way to shore. I clearly remember that day, I randomly punched on his number while he was hovering in my brain, indeed he had overpowered my thinking. Undoubtedly, he ruled it. I was so happy as I was counting the days. He told me on twenty-eight February that he would be back after one month.

It was my birthday, next month and we were also getting married soon. I didn't know when, but soon according to his promise. I was extremely excited that I was on the seventh sky. I hadn't ever thought I would get happiness too. But yeah! Here I was and my happiness was only a few seconds/minutes or days away from me.

' I love him more than anything else in this world. He is the reason for my happiness.'

"You like this, Suhana? " Rita's sharp voice brought me back to reality. It was so crowded in the market and I was feeling like a hundred flies were buzzing in my ears. But if you wanted a discount, it was a fabulous plan to shop on weekends. She was holding silver earrings between her fingers.

"Yeah! Pretty much. Are you suggesting me Or buying it for yourself?" I chuckled.

Rita is taller than me, dark straight hair. Her brown skin is flawless. She's a slim girl with an oval face. I haven't seen her being in a serious relationship with anyone. She dates more than one guy. Strange but true.

"I thought, you'd forget to buy yourself anything, I guess…" She clicked her tongue." Your dreamy world is enough, ain't it? " She teased.

"Indeed, I'm a one-man girl. I don't have more than one boyfriend. How can I make them buy for me by ordering from a jeweller on special demand, if this is out of stock here? " I teased back.

She hit me on my arm and glared at me. She hated the explanation of her this bad habit in public when a cute guy was ogling at her, "Ouch! It hurts! Girl. "I pretended.

"Oo… Are you hurt, baby? You should not marry then....you know. "She teased back, winking at me.

"Ewww... Shut up!" I made a face. I hated her double meaning talk.

"Come on! Suhana, you are just twenty! Why are you in such a hurry? Enjoy your life at least." She said. I could tell, she was serious now.

"Turing twenty-one next month, I'm marrying, he loves me the way I love him. I'm not your type. I'm happy with what I am. I'll marry one day, why not now? " I corrected her and asked with a slight shrug of my right shoulder.

"But you....." She was cut off with the sound of my phone's ring.

It brought a huge smile on my face, It must be Jagraj. I thought. When I beheld the screen, my smile disappeared. The call was from mom.

"Hey, mom,. . . . . Yeah! It's crowded here, we'll be back soon…. yes mom, bye. " I shook my head, frowning at the screen.

" Er... Your stepmom!"

" She's not my stepmom, just her habits and ways are like one. " Rita was looking at me, continuously, "What are you looking for? " I asked.

"What if he broke your heart. " She asked with a serious face.

"The way you break your boyfriends' hearts! " I frowned.

"What if he?" She poked her pinky finger in my arm.

"What rubbish!!! it's not happening, not even in dreams. " I confirmed her. I was confirmed like he** that he would never break my heart.

"If we're going according to your count, it's been fifteen-day up to six months. Do you think he deserves all your love and loyalty, and this waiting! I mean look at you, girl! You are the most beautiful girl in the town. You are the dream girl of every boy. On the second hand, he is...... I am not getting any quality of his. You deserve better than him. He makes you wait a lot. I didn't find it good." She sighed. She fanned her hand as it was hot outside.

"First thing, it's his job. He never made me wait. Second! He will never cheat on me. I trust him. " I answered her.

"Does he trust you?" she raised her eyebrows.

He checked my phone, whenever we met. But it was normal, wasn't it?

I raised my eyebrows in a challenge and stared at her. She seemed to swear to spoil my day today, I guessed. Before I could reply to her, someone hugged me from behind.

"Her genuine friends are still alive, we will break his bones if he would dare to break our angel's heart. " Mini replied from behind me and it was Sippy, who was hugging me. We studied together in school and now, we were in college.

Mini is two inches shorter than me. Rita and Mini are real sisters. But most people take her as my sister. She has dark straight hair like Rita. Her creamy skin is flawless. Her jaw is sharp and a round face. She's my mother's favourite. Rita and Mini have the same eyes, dark.

Sippy is tall like Rita. Her hair is brown and long. Her eyes are dark brown. Her face is oval and fair skin.

I turned around and hugged both tightly, "I thought, you forgot me, as you must meet some heavy discount on your favourite brand. " I smirked.

"She has an eye on your boyfriend, careful Suhana. " Sippy said, glaring at Rita.

"Hold on! Hold on girls, you can continue your war, after shopping. I don't wanna wear old clothes at my bestie's wedding. " Minnie smiled and winked at me.

"Good point, let's go and enjoy. " I said with a smile.

My phone buzzed in my hand again. This time I didn't want my hopes up. Still! Excitedly, I glanced at the screen and then rolled my eyes.

All this was the fault of Monica. I thought while glaring at the display.

I hit on a green icon and hoisted it up to my ear.

"Hello, Suhana! How are you? " His excited voice could hear through the buzz of the crowd.

"I'm fine. How are you, Rahul? " I asked him with a smile.

"You broke my heart baby. You know how much I love you. It's you, who floated in my thinking, my dreams, every second of my life spends thinking about you. " He said in a flirting tone.

But I could feel he was hurt. But what could I do? I didn't love him. I didn't feel for him as he felt for me, He was more than a brother and a friend.

"Rahul! " I pursed my lips as he was sitting in front of me, "You know I love Jagraj. I've told you many times. Why are you hurting yourself and me with such talk? " I asked him. I knew he explained his pain every time in his jokes but it hurt me to know that I was the cause of it.

"He's not good for you. I'll keep you happy, I swear of my mother. That f*****! He doesn't deserve you, " He said pleadingly and angrily.

"Enough, Rahul. If you are gonna talk like this. I'm not gonna talk to you. " I threatened him and this always worked with him.

"Okay fine! " He loudly said, getting irritated, "Kev wants to talk to you. " He said.

Kev was his best friend and both were in the marketing business. Kev often talked to me when Rahul wanted to say something to me and I ignored him. I still remembered last time. He called me. Kev said he was standing between the crossroad and shouting. It was extremely hurting for me. Kev put the phone on speaker. I could hear Rahul very clearly, ' I Love You, Suhana. ' I disconnected the call at that time and I didn't talk to him for almost a week. I could not break anyone's heart.

"Hello, Kev. How are you? " I asked him.

"Bhabhi, Rahul doesn't eat properly. Why don't you tell him yes? "Kev asked in his serious voice. ( Bhabhi is a word for brother's wife in India)

I knew this was gonna come. I kept silent and tears started to pierce in my eyes. My throat got choked, "Why are you hurting me, Rahul? "I asked him and tears slipped from my eyes. My voice was cracking on words.

"Hey! Baby! Are you crying? " Rahul must have snatched the phone from Kev's hand and put it on speaker.

"What do you expect? I've told you. You are a nice person but I'm not good for you. "I told him.

"Are you f****ng kidding me, Suhana? You are perfect for me. Indeed, everyone wants a girl like you. If no one deserves you, it's he, Jagraj. " He said with hatred.

I couldn't tolerate it anymore. I was feeling the evil one here. Who was breaking the hearts? I had feelings for someone else. How could I feign to love? I was cursing the day when Monica compelled me to talk to him. I told him ' I'm in a relationship' but Rahul was so stubborn. I disconnected the call and lost for a while in my sight.

"Suhana! Ain't you hungry? " Mini shouted from behind,

Immediately, I brushed my fingers over my cheeks and smiled, "Yeah! Coming. " I said to her loudly and shoved my phone in my handbag.

I joined my friends. They have already finished their half food. I wasn't feeling hungry any more. I could understand how it felt when you liked someone and you couldn't get him for some reasons. I was seventeen years old when I went out with my Aunt. There I met a boy. He was so handsome, fair complexion, amber eyes and black long hair, six feet tall. He gazed at me through his amber eyes. He didn't remove his gaze for a second. At that time, I wanted to marry him.

' I know it's stupid. If you'll ask me now. I still say yes. I haven't seen anyone handsome like him.'

Indeed, I was thinking my dad is the most handsome man in this world, today's Justin Bieber was equal to my dad when I was a kiddo. But he changed my option. I still remembered his name when one of the employees called him, "Arnav Sir, Boss is looking for you. " It wasn't just his handsomeness, there was some kind of innocence in his eyes.

I remembered his gaze, his face. I could still feel him with closed eyes, gazing at me and before going out of the hall. He glanced at me through the mirror. I never felt like that before. I felt real joy. First time in my life, for all that time, I forgot my parents too.

"You are not eating." Rita's sharp voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

I nodded with a smile. I was struggling to hide my smile but could not. People must be thinking that I was a crazy girl.

' By the way, Jagraj also has Amber eyes. I loved his eyes the most.