Anxiously Novels & Stories

Kitang-kita sa kinikilos niya na anxious na anxious siya. “Are you okay babe? Na-aanxious ka ba dahil sa pag-aaway nyo ng kapatid mo?” Tanong ko. “No, baby. Hindi ako na-aanxious dahil dun dahil madalas naman talaga kaming mag-away ni Cassy, normal lang sa amin yun.” tugon naman niya. “Eh bakit parang nagaalala ka?” pagtataka ko naman pero bigla niya akong niyakap ng mahigpit.

Taking a deep breath, I spoke and added, "I really did saw him. I clearly saw him that night! I clearly - hah." I gasped for air, eyes closed and gave a smack on my own forehead, before a deep sigh escape my slightly parted lips. Resting my body over my desk, I looked up the ceiling, eyes barely open. This is so much confusing, and I don't like this. The anxiety that my thoughts about Alexis may have gone awry, para mapagkamalan ko ito. I felt nauseous and paranoid. I don't like this. "Ugh!"

Grabe nakakapagod pala talaga. "Girl ano yun? grabe tatakbo talaga?? hello ang haba ng tinakbo natin oh para tayong nasa marathon ano ba kasi yon?" tanong sakin ni Jaz habang nagpupunas ng pawis nya sa noo. Napangiti ako sakanilang dalawa kasi natatawa ako sa mukha nila ngayon, grabe haggard na haggard. Sinamaan ako ng tingin ng dalawa kaya humugot ako ng malalim na hininga para mag explain sakanila.

"If you're going to propose right now, I will say no. Do you understand? I. WILL. SAY. A. FUCKING. NO."I threatened him and I'm also trying not to shout at him. My voice was normal and threatening. Hindi ko siya tinignan, kumain nalang ako at kinuha ang phone ko sa gilid. Tatawagan ko na sana si Mommy ng makita kong tumayo si Chase at humarap sa akin. Is he scared? I don't know but I can see it all over his face that his anxious.

KABANATA 16: AYOKONG pakiramdam sa lahat iyong anxiety. Parang hinahalukay ang tiyan ko sa kaba at nagugulo ang aking sistema. I hate this familiar feeling when I lay down to bed and pretend to be my sister again.

“Hindi ko na alam kung ano na ba ang nararamdaman ko kay Katrina. Sometimes I’m thinking about her, wanting to be with her, but when I actually face her, I have lost myself. Para bang may ibang gusto na ang isip ko at hindi ko alam kung ano.” “You’re just confused. Kaya ka ba naglalasing ngayon ay dahil hindi mo matantiya ang emosyon mo?” “Yeah. Ilang araw na akong uneasy, at feeling ko ay may taong gusto akong pabagsakin.” “That’s anxiety, Edmund. Pagod ka rin at stress sa trabaho. You should take some rest first. Sa Saturday at Sunday, puwede kang mamasyal o kaya maglaro ng golf with Dad.”

natatawa niyang sabi, oo naman kasi gusto ko ulit na maramdam siya. Umupo ako sa tabi niya. “You know,” she said eventually, staring ahead, “akala ko wedding prep would make me anxious.” “And?” tanong ko. “And it does,” she admitted. “But not in the way I thought.” I waited. “I’m anxious because I don’t want to lose this calm,” she continued. “Parang fragile.” I nodded slowly. “I get that.” I took her hand. “But calm isn’t fragile,” dagdag ko. “We just don’t trust it yet.”

Ramdam niya ang paninikip ng kaniyang dibdib at lakas ng dagundong ng puso niya dahil sa pagpasok ng alaalang iyon sa isipan niya. “Maybe the tension between Alex and Augustus was triggering my anxiety and opening my unwanted past,” she thought. “Be mindful with your words, Augustus. We can talk this out as we both businessman,” narinig niyang sagot ni Alex sa lalaki. Hindi niya man lang kakitaan ito ng takot o intimidasyon kay Augustus. Kung ang ibang tao ay nanginginig sa presensiya ng gambling lord, hindi si Alex. Nanatili pa rin itong kalmado.

Kala ko bago ako mawalan ng malay noon guni guni or panaginip ko lang but it was true according to Kenji. Kahit na nagkasagutan din kami noong araw na 'yun. She's really mad, ang sakit nang mga sinabi niya saakin noon but I understand that because she's just mad. Words are at their heaviest when she fall from her lips filled with rage, passion, fear, and anxiety. She pierce our souls and circulate running laps around our minds for hours and hours. At this time, it’s incredibly easy to feel hopeless.

“Gago.” “Pero noted,” dagdag niya, mas seryoso na. Huminga ako nang malalim, pinipilit kontrolin ang anxiety na gumagapang sa loob ko. Yung tipong gusto mo nang maunang pumasok sa sasakyan para makasama ka pero alam mong hindi pwede. Yung tipong nag-aalala ka pero wala kang magawa kundi magtiwala. At sa totoo lang…