I Decided To Live As Myself Mga Nobela at Kwento

Mas madali nga namang malaman ang basura kapag umaalingasaw na ang masangsang na amoy diba? Sometimes, in life, you have to be broken in order to be whole again. And instead of staying broken and hurt, you should rise up and be the better version of your self. And that's what I did. I fixed myself, pick up the broken pieces and choose to live the life I wanted to live it. I may be broken, but I'm not defeated. What happened in my life, years back, I took it as a lesson. A kind of life lesson that was given to me in a hard way.

Mapait akong napangiti. Hindi pa rin pala lahat kaya kong gawin kahit nakalayo na ako sa sarili kong pamilya. Siguro, pinanganak talaga ako para makulong habang buhay... At habang mas maaga pa, tanggapin ko na iyon para hindi na ako umasa at masaktan pa. Pinganak ako sa mundong 'to para kontrolin ng iba at pakinabangan. I want to live my life the way I want to live it. But damn... Mukhang ayaw talaga ng Tadhana.

My every word was filled with virtue and conviction. "Being soft does not make anyone less of a person. Sometimes, we also have to be weak in order to grow stronger. Do not ever change just to conform in other people's world. Just be yourself and rule your own queendom." I gave a one last alluring smile before uttering my thank you. Everyone clapped and it was my signal to elegantly go back to my position. Nakangiti man ako habang nakaharap sa audience kanina ay hindi ko maiwasang mapapikit pagkatalikod.

Marcus said back. “Cadne, I never considered my life as living because all I did was to fucking exist for others. Ngayon ko na lang naramdamang buhay ako, na may sarili akong desisyon, kaya gusto ko ng kumawala sa kanila. Just… help me out with this one.”

Nakayanan ko ngang mabuhay mag-isa noon ngayon pa bang may anghel na akong nakatingin sa akin? Lola if you are watching right now, I want you to know that I love you so much. I promise that I will continue to live the life that I wanted. From now on, I will do whatever I want not because I'm a spoiled brat but because this is what I want and this is what I deserve. From now on I will start loving myself and I will find my happiness. i will keep fighting Lola, that's a promise.

Wala na akong control sa magiging buhay ko. “Sana dumating yung time na kaya mo ng ilaban yung sarili mong buhay. Yung mag-stand up ka sa decisions mo at papanindigan mo ang sarili mong buhay na walang kahit ano’ng utos nila,” nakangiting sabi ni Lianne sa akin.

Handa niyang ialay ang buong buhay niya upang ingatan at protektahan ito. Hinigpitan ni Theodore ang kanyang yakap, at sa huli ay nagsalita sa mahinang boses, “You belong only to yourself, no one else gets to decide that for you.” Lahat ng kanyang ginagawa ay may iisang hangad, na sana ay magkaroon ito ng lakas ng loob na maging totoo sa kanyang sarili, nang walang kinatatakutan at nakagagapos sa kanya.

bati sa akin ni Donnie pagdating ko sa shop, binuksan niya ang glass door para sa akin. Ningitian ko siya, "good morning di sa'yo, Donnie," I greeted him back. Ramdam ko ang aliwalas ng pakiramdam ko. Letting go of all my worries put my mind at ease. Ang gaan pala sa pakiramdam ang ganito, wala kang ibang iisipin kun'di ang sarili mo lang. I may sound selfish but all my life I've been subject to my family's approval, every decision I make, I should ask them first. My own decision does not matter in my family, it's their decision that matters the most, just like my marriage to Niu. Having to decide for my own is not selfishness, it's a way of living a life I want to live.

Napailing na lamang ako dahil doon. Bahala na kung hindi man nila ako magustuhan. Saka sabi naman kanina ni Dylan, dapat kung ano ang totoong ako, iyon ang ipakita ko. And this… is the real me. Bahala na kung hindi man nila magustuhan ang totoong ako. At least I’m being true to myself. Humugot ako ng malalim na buntong hininga bago tuluyang naglakad papunta sa mansion ng mga Fontanilla. Good thing I dressed well today or else, I will really embarrassed myself infront of them.

Pakiramdam ko, sa isang iglap, nawala lahat ng sama ng loob ko sa sarili ko. It has been weeks since I decided to live by myself. Nope, hindi na nga pala ako nag-iisa. Kasama ko si Cal na ngayo'y tila ba mas lumalaki na kumpara noong huli kong iwan ang Mondalla Residences. I am living in peace. Kahit minsan ay wala akong natanggap na tawag mula kay Ismael at kahit na sino mula sa pamilya ko at sa pamilya niya. They are really respecting my decision to have some time for myself. Totoo naman daw kasi na masyadong napuno ng masasamang alaala ang buhay ko nitong mga nakaraang araw, pero dahil sa desisyon kong ito, mas nangingibabaw ang mga alaalang ginawa namin ni Ismael nang magkasama.