Joke Ilocano

My daughter has a sudden allergic reaction, and my husband, an expert in these things, is the only one who can save her. I call him at this critical juncture, but his childhood sweetheart is the one who answers. "Clinton is busy. He wants me to tell you not to call him if it's not important." There's no time for me to get mad. I say anxiously, "Tell him to come to the hospital now. Ivy has had an allergic reaction and is waiting for him to save her." Clinton Reeves says impatiently, "Gemma and I are just watching a soccer match. Do you have to joke around with Ivy's life? I'm so disappointed in you." Later, Ivy dies in the hospital, her body covered in rashes. I wipe my tears and call Clinton once more. I say icily, "Let's get a divorce." The first thing I hear is his and Gemma Walken's laughter. After a while, he says, "Sure, but Ivy is mine."

This marks the third year since Alan Cohen and I became mates, and today's finally the day of the Luna ceremony. As the ceremony begins, Alan takes my hand. But then he hesitates, refusing to move forward. I'm still trying to make sense of it when my adoptive sister, Eden Parker, suddenly breaks into the mind-link. She says she's just ended a failed mate bond with another Alpha and will be back within the hour. That's when I see a flicker of a smile on Alan's face. Then, without a second glance, he lets go of my hand and walks away. I turn to my adoptive brother, Dexter Parker, and my adoptive father, Hank Parker, hoping for some kind of comfort, only to realize they've already left the ceremony with Alan. And just like that, I became the joke of the entire pack. Eden sends me a photo. She's glowing beside Alan, her arm looped through Dexter's, with Hank beaming next to them. That's when I give up. I reach out through the mind-link to my birth father. "Dad, I'm ready to return to the Bloodmoon Pack."

Three years ago, my mother and I got into a car accident. My father immediately got himself a new wife. His illegitimate daughter, Kaitlyn Lee, was only two years younger than me. Kaitlyn and I became the butts of the joke of the whole country from fighting over my mother’s inheritance. Aaron White ignored his family members’ objections and married me. He drove Kaitlyn away and saved Stance Corporation. I thought Aaron loved me very much until I accidentally overheard his conversation with Kaitlyn. “When are you divorcing her? I’m pregnant.” “I’ll divorce her when she agrees to transfer all her shares to me. Then I’ll marry you.” “I really wish she had died like her mother.” “If we managed to plot her demise the first time, we could do it again.” I almost fainted from hearing the truth. I clamped my hand over my mouth as tears streamed down my cheeks.

“ Do you think I would accept you?" Alpha Gregory baritone voice hits Stephanie hard as memories of the night before played before her. Did she just get rejected by her mate who happened to be the alpha of the pack after a steaming one night stand with him? In anger, she accepted the rejection but left that same night, not wanting to be in the pack with the man who just rejected her. What she didn't know was that the Moon goddess might just be playing a joke on her! Stephanie hadn't gotten over the heartache from Alpha Gregory when she met her second chance mate. Same man she gave herself to just to repay him for saving her. “ You are my mate and I am not ready to reject you, not in a million years sweetheart!" Davies said, smiling. What would she do when the two men discovered she was pregnant and wanted to keep her to themselves? Who would she accept to be her soulmate or would she just keep both? Who said a lady can't have them all? Find out Stephanie's decision in this twisted story!

Everyone in our circle knew I had always been obsessed with Daniel Rothman. I followed whatever he did—went to school, learnt eight different languages, studied finance. After all, the Rothmans and Fosters were destined to merge through marriage—our intertwined business empires depended on it. However, on our wedding day, Daniel flew overseas to rescue his crush in distress. Our childhood bond, once the envy of everyone, became the biggest joke of all. There I was, wearing a wedding dress worth millions, standing alone as I completed the grand ceremony by myself. The headlines were everywhere. For the first time, my name came before his in the news. How foolish. Men were a dime a dozen. But there was only one well-established business empire. I did not just want his body. I wanted his money, too.

Twenty-two years ago, the Amethyst Alpha found out he was going to be a father. The next day, he met his True Mate. As the coward he was, he made sure his pregnant girlfriend wouldn't be a problem and banned her from the pack and tried to get her killed. She just barely survived... And a few months later, I was born. The bastard child of the Alpha. For years, I have planned the moment in which I would come back and avenge my mother's name. Now, it was time to take everything that was rightfully mine and nothing would make me hesitant. What my plans never took under consideration was Delilah. F*ck. What a f*cking horrible joke the Moon Goddess was playing on me?

Only days after her eighteenth birthday, Iris finally joins her pack in attending the Winter Solstice, a gathering of the four Western packs in the United States. Even though she is a Beta’s daughter, Iris plans on keeping her head down at the party, a task that proves more difficult when she runs into the notorious Alpha of the Black River Pack. Alpha Sergio has still not recovered from the tragic, mysterious loss of his first mate. So when he bumps into a young girl from a rival pack and feels the familiar fire reignite in his core, he thinks Fate is playing a cruel joke on him. Intent on keeping Iris out of harm’s way, Alpha Sergio decides to push his young mate away. But Iris, and her dormant wolf, are determined to teach the broken Alpha how to love again.

My Alpha's ex-girlfriend finds an excuse to move in with us. Whenever she sees me and my pup, she clutches her chest and acts like she's devastated. My Alpha is sure that I'm deliberately showing off our pup to upset her. "I can't believe you keep flaunting our pup to get on Cissy's nerves! I have to teach you a lesson!" He orders his men to have our pup and me thrown into the basement. No one is allowed to bring me food. I try to escape, and I beg for mercy. I tell him our pup is weak because I wasn't in the best of health when carrying it. I also tell him a healer has advised me to be hospitalized for further treatment. He sounds like he's heard the world's biggest joke, and his tone is cold as he says, "How can you be weak when you made it out of being ambushed in the forest? Stop trying to make yourself seem pitiful! Stay in the basement and repent! This is what you get for making things hard for Cissy!" What he doesn't know is that, when I save him from the attack, I lose my wolf because I am injected with wolfsbane. During my pregnancy, I am also hospitalized many times in order to prevent miscarriage due to the fact that my body is too weak. The pup is in poor health and has been receiving treatment since birth. In the basement, I slash my wrists to feed my pup with my blood, but he still dies in my arms. My devastated howls reverberate in the space. Losing my wolf means I no longer have the ability to heal myself. I lie in a puddle of my blood as I hold my pup's cold body close. Three days later, my Alpha decides he wants me back when he drinks a cup of coffee that isn't to his liking. He says, "Let my Luna out so she can make me coffee and apologize to Cissy. She and the pup can be taken to the hospital if she's sincere enough." No one dares obey his orders—my blood is already flowing out of the basement.

Chuck Bassett, heir to an Urbington East fortune in Nuvark City, has dated 42 girlfriends—all foreign, all in white dresses, every single one with a mole at the corner of her eyebrow. People joke about his obsession, saying he'll never get over his first love, Lylith Fowler. Then, Lorrie Scarrow shows up. She's sharp, short-haired, hates dresses, and her eyes are clear and bright. She's nothing like the women he's dated before. Chuck buys her a private island. When she mentions how much she loves the stars, he fills the sky above their estate with millions of drones, crafting a shimmering galaxy just for her. He even gets her initial tattooed beneath his collarbone. Everyone is amazed. Chuck has finally moved on from the past. Even Lorrie starts to believe it. Until she spots him in the red-light district, shelling out a fortune to book a hostess for a whole month. The woman has short hair and a button-down shirt. She looks just like Lorrie. Chuck's friends are floored. "Have you lost your mind? Lylith changed her look, and now you're after someone who looks even more like her? Remember how she dumped you for that wealthy foreign businessman when she thought you were broke? "She only came crawling back after she found out you're the heir to one of the Four Great Families. You've always said there's nothing you hate more than women like that!" Chuck knocks back the shot. "I hate her, and I love her. She pulled me out of a fire ten years ago. No one else can ever replace her in my heart." "And what about Lorrie? You proposed to her! She gave up a career at one of the world's top design firms for you. Aren't you worried she'll walk away when she finds out?" Chuck leans back on the couch, his expression cold. "I won't marry a traitor. Lorrie's pure, innocent—the closest thing to how Lylith used to be. So I'll still marry her. She loves me too much to walk away." Unseen in the shadows, Lorrie stands frozen, her heart plummeting. Turns out, she's just another her.

My neighbors across the hall had a nasty habit of stealing. This included my food deliveries, my shoes from the cabinet, and even my clothes drying on the rooftop. Nothing was safe from them. I had enough. One day, I placed a pair of shoes borrowed from my friend, who was battling an extreme case of athlete’s foot, outside my door. Not long after they stole them, they came banging on my door in the middle of the night, furious about the outbreak on their feet. They even filed a complaint at the hospital where I work. I was so furious that I invited a few homeless patients to move in. A muscular man with HIV, an elderly woman with syphilis, and a young man with severe mental health issues became their new neighbors. The thieves could not handle it and begged the landlord to evict them. However, the joke was on them. My family owned the entire building. If anyone was leaving, it certainly was not me.