Smiling Through The Pain Mga Nobela at Kwento

Parang nagbalik sa aking alaala kung paanong ang isang Juago’ng palangiti at palatawa’y unti-unting mababasag ang ekspresiyon sa mukha. My eyes just avoid his eyes when he glance at me. Damn. How can you look at someone while it seems like pain is also consuming you?

His smile and jokes can easily replace the pain. Simula nang makilala ko siya, wala na akong ginawa kundi mabugnot. Nawawala ang sakit ng puso ko dahil naitutuon ko ang sama ng loob ko sa kanya. I am stunned that a simple gesture can make my pain fade away. Like it's gone with the wind and all I could think is his electrifying touch, his soft lips on mine, and the way he whispers sweet words to me.

Pakiramdam ko ay totoong malapit na talagang bumigay ang katawan ko. And that burning sensation that was left after being lashed countless of times is making me feel nauseated and dizzy and made me want to scream at the top of my lungs to let all the pain out but I held it all in. Holding your painful screams, your sorrowful cries is another form of torture but I will endure this torture. Yes, screaming at the top of your lungs won’t take away the pain, but at least you were able to fully express what you truly felt. And until now, I am forbidding myself to have it easier, to free myself because I brought this to myself. I brought this hell to all of us. I dragged them to hell and if this is

“That smile I missed.” *********

She's been there before too, sino nga naman ang magiging komportable sa kabilaang pagngiti sa mga taong madalas ay wala namang pakialam sa'yo? You have to smile a lot. Ms. Adamakis used to remind her before. Even when you're tired, not in the mood, or pained, smile! That's disgusting to do, but eventually, she's got used since it's part of her job in the first place. She's there every day to attend to guests in a very friendly way and the first step toward that is to smile at each of them.

"But– you'll get hurt." "I know, pero hindi ko malalampasan ang sakit na yon kung hindi ko haharapin. Maybe, I lost myself for a moment so my brain choose to forget all those memories na nakasakit saakin, But I'm alright now, I need to face all those pain to grow."

And I find it… dangerously appealing. Kahit anong suotin niya ay nababagay sa kurba ng katawan niya. Ang mga ngiti niya habang nakaharap sa mga empleyado are effortlessly mesmerizing. There is something about the way she smiles that draws people in without effort. And a part of me wished that she would laugh like that in front of me. That I would be the reason behind every smile. That I would stand behind every laughter she lets out. But all I ever give her is pain. And grief.