Novel & Cerita Smiling Through The Pain

“It hurts so much...” Mas idiniin ko ang palad sa dibdib, na para bang kaya nitong pigilan ang sakit na dumudurog sa akin mula sa loob. “It won’t stop hurting.” My breathing became uneven, and my vision blurred completely. “I don’t know what to do anymore...” A broken sob escaped my lips. “I tried...” A painful laugh escaped me before it dissolved into another sob. “I really tried...I tried so hard...”

Every step is a struggle, every movement hurts like hell, but I endure it all. Napakasakit. Masakit sa katawan, masakit sa laman, at higit sa lahat, nakakapagod sa isipan. May mga araw na pakiramdam ko ay gusto ko nang sumuko. There were nights I cried myself to sleep, thinking I’d never get better. May mga oras na sa sobrang hapdi at pagod ay naiiyak na lang ako nang tahimik habang nakahiga pagkatapos ng session. Pero sa bawat oras na pakiramdam ko ay bumibigay na ako, lilitaw lang ulit ang mukha ni Bianca sa alaala ko. Maririnig ko ulit ang boses niya, ang tawanan niya, at maaalala ko ang pangako namin sa isa’t isa. And suddenly, the pain doesn’t matter anymore. You are my only motivation.

"But you know what God did to me? That same day, He made a miracle." I look at my kids. and like a star their eyes are twinkling. They are looking at me with a wide smile plastered on their faces. That smile is my constant reminder, that everyday I have to be better if not the best for them. That beautiful smiles serves as my inspiration to go on with my life despite the pain and heartache I've got.

Nagawa niya pa rin gumawa ng masama. "You know I'm in endless pain when I wake up one morning and realize that I'm dead, buried and forgotten by those who are dear and close to me but alive and kicking to strangers, a people who don’t give a d-mn about me. You know you will forever be in pain when you wake up in the morning, with a jolt, to an emotionless face of someone who tells you nothing but to go out and kill, take another human’s life or yours would be taken in more painful ways than you can imagine. You know pain when you go to sleep with it every night and you see yourself being lowered in your own grave but when you scream to those mourning and burying you your screams are whimpers

Gusto ko siyang yakapin, yung mahigpit na mahigpit na kulang nalang ay mabali ang mga buto nito sa sobrang higpit. I had seen her so many times on the brink of tears, but tonight her face was entirely different, seeing her with so much pain and hatred. It was like slaughtered my heart and murdered me over and over. She tilted her head upwards, Instantly I realized how my world fell down to my feet. I watched Cherry's eyes. Then I knew, the anger was nothing but a shield for pain. She mastered the art of faking a smile. Ilang beses ko na iyong nakita. Ngumingiti kahit nasasaktan.

Sinilip pa niya ang pagka****e ko at minasahe iyon ng marahan. "Does it still hurt? I'm really sorry." Namumula na ang mukha niya. Parang gusto kong matawa ngunit hindi ko ginawa. "No... I can manage the pain. Please, go on." I gave him a reassuring smile and tap his arms.

It was bearable at first pero mariin akong napapikit nang mas lalo iyong sumakit. I can hear Theo's voice asking me but I can't answer him because of the pain I'm feeling. I keep on punching my head just to stop the pain but it won't stop. Napasigaw na ako sa sakit. I keep on punching until I saw something that flashed into my mind. It was was blurry. There's a man who's hugging a woman from behind and he's saying something. They looked so happy together. Ramdam kong tumulo ang luha ko. I breathe in deeply to keep my self calm but it's not working! More images keep on flashing in my mind and I don't know what to do!

He is even starting to kiss my hollow of my ear and neck to help me forget the pain. He was successful. It's painful but he manage to divert my attention to his words. He kept whispering sweet nothings and he started to move in and out. Even though his words are distracting me, I can still feel the pain and now I can tolerate it. Unlike earlier that all my attention is on the pain I felt. Napakagat labi na lang ako. His speed went fast and I wonder of I will still feel orgasm with this painful feeling but odd, I still had my release kahit sobrang sakit.

Gusto kong matulog hanggang pagtanda. "Look at the sky, full of stars. The moon even smiles at you. Nakakawala ng stress at sama ng loob." He smiled genuinely. "Kapag malungkot ka, tingin ka lang sa langit. There are reasons to be happy, just look up. Someone up there will never fail you." He then met my eyes and smiled. Hindi ko talaga makakalimutan ang araw na 'to. Buong araw siyang nakangiti at nakatawa na para bang sobrang masaya siya.

Pagkatapos niyang sabihin ang mga salitang iyon sa kaniya ay tumalikod na siya at pinihit paikot ang door knob. Tipong bubuksan na sana niya ang pintuan nang muling magsalita si Ara at sa pagkakataong iyon ay mas lalo niyang ikinabigla. "Stage three, brain cancer. Iyon ang sakit ni Ethan, iyon din ang dahilan ng pagleave niya sa kaniyang trabaho but despite all of that, he's still choose to remain silent for the sake of you guys. You don't have any idea how painful it was, lalo na sa akin. Kapag nahihirap siyang huminga minsan, tapos iniinda niya yung kirot at sakit na nararamdaman niya. Pero ni isa man lang sa inyo ay walang nakapansin sa kakaibang nangyayari sa kaniya. Sinabi mo kanina na