The Sadness Book Novels & Stories

C. Marahil, nakatadhana na nga na magtagpo ang aming landas. Pinulot ko ang libro at umupo sa gilid ng kama kung saan siya nakahiga. Makintab ang itim na kulay nito at ang gintong guhit sa mga letra ay natanglawan ng liwanag ng ilaw. I don’t know if it’s just me or something but I can feel the weight that the book has. It’s a lonely feeling and the man lying beside me—not knowing where he is, chilled and got me panicking; hurtling around the little dark room of Outcast at 2 am in the morning. I felt nervous with the man who got lost in the middle of the City of Dublin.

My heart beats fast, full of confusion and sorrow. Tumingin siya sa akin, “hija, hindi ito madali para sa akin, but you have the right to know the truth," panimula niya. Basang basa ang mukha sa luha."Mayroong mga taong hindi masaya sa tagumpay ng iyong pamilya, at mga taong nagnanais na kayo'y mawala." Sabi niya sabay hagod ng aking likod.

Ang mga libro sa book shelf ay nasa sahig na rin. This image in my room describes what I am feeling right now. The agony inside me is screaming, the hatred is consuming my whole body and my pain is circulating inside my heart. Galit na galit ako na nasasaktan, bakit 'yong mga taong pinagkatiwalaan ko ng lubos ang dumurog sa'kin. Bakit 'yong mga taong mahal na mahal ko ang kailangang tatraydor sa akin. Wala na ba akong karapatang sumaya? Pagod na pagod na ako, hindi ko na kaya.

"Siguro, kwento ko na lang 'yong laman ng book? Para magkaroon na lang kayo ng idea? Lalo na sa mga hindi pa nakabasa? Or ayaw niyo ng idea—" "We want!" sabay-sabay na sigaw nilang lahat na ikinagulat ko, mayamaya ay tumawa na lang ako at umiling. "Okay, sige na nga," Umayos ako ng tayo at pinakatitigan ang libro na hawak, "This story is about two people who found themselves lost to each other," nag angat ako ng tingin at isang malungkot na ngiti ang sumilay sa aking mga labi, "Pero ang akala nilang masayang relasyon na sinimulan nila ay may kalapit na sakit at pagdurusa, sinubok sila ng tadhana, kung hanggang saan ang pagmamahal na meron sila para sa isa't isa. Pero pinatunayan nila na kaya

“Lexie, uy… why is it that when you feel sad, you make everyone and everything around you sad, I mean no offense but I feel crappy right now, because of your sadness, it’s like it’s polluting the air.” Agad na napa angat ang ulo ni Lexie dahil sa biglang sinabing iyon ni Claire, “It’s in her babe, it’s like Lexie is glowing with blue color that screams sadness, and it makes me feel crappy too.” Dagdag pa ng boyfriend nitong si Andrew, napasimangot naman si Lexie saka sinamaan ng tingin ang dalawa. “Hey, only because I feel sad, doesn’t mean you two imbeciles could make fun of me, what? Because my baby daddy abandoned me and I feel like my sadness is eating me whole right now, all of a sudden

Hindi puwede! I would do anything to make him regret throwing me away from his life. I would make his life miserable. The rain poured heavily witnessing my misery. Meeting him is a mistake I would forever regret. "You will never be happy, Zach. Remember this day."

"You're so full of yourself! Kahit ba naman dito, sarili mo ang pakikinggan mo?" Walang senyales na ginawa si Ludwick at bigla na lang nito hininto ang sasakyan. Natahimik naman si Sadie. Hindi pareho silang natahimik, natulala. Seconds had passed, but still, none of them ever tried to say something. Maliban sa kuliglig na malalakas ang huni, walang ibang ingay na maririnig. After about two minutes, a sob suddenly broke the silence. Sadie was there again, hopelessly crying. Sadness tore her chest and her spirits fell. Her heart was shattered into pieces again.

Kasya dito ang isang soccer team. Doon ko lang na-realize na may maliit na pool dito sa right side, habang may malaki namang pool doon sa left side, kung saan nakatambay si Ismael kanina. Pumunta akong muli roon at umupo sa inupuan niya. I noticed the book on the side table, so out of curiosity, I took a look at it. "It Didn't Start With You," basa ko sa title ng puting libro na may drawing ng dalawang mukha na magkatalikod. "How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are And How To End The Cycle..." dugtong ko pa.

Parang may gustong iparating na damdaming mahirap ipaliwanag, parang si Jessica. Pero… napansin ko rin ang isang bagay. “Pero kung titignan mong mabuti…” nagsimula ako habang tinititigan ang isang canvas na may title na ‘Rise’. “… mas magaan. Mas… masaya.” Tumango si George. “Exactly.” “Ang mga paintings ni Jessica… they carried so much sadness. Pain. Trauma. Parang nagsusumigaw ng kirot.” sabi nito

Sambit niya bago tumayo pagkatapos ay inilahad ang kanyang kamay. Malungkot akong napangiti bago tinanggap iyon. One of the saddest things in the world is to feel broken, and although you're somehow been figuratively ripped apart you feel like can never be put back together again. These are days when I ask myself! What are you staying here for? Most times I don't even have an answer. Sometimes I just don't want to be here anymore. That I don't want to fight this kind of sadness sicked. Those toughest thoughts to deal with.