What Did I Do Wrong Novels & Stories

Naguluhan ako dahil sa sinabi niya, pero hindi na 'ko nag-abalang magtanong dahil baka masaktan ko lang ang damdamin niya. "But they helped the wrong person..." Ano'ng ibig niyang sabihin? But then his words made me recall something. I suddenly realized what the letter I received last week was trying to say. Helping Louie was a mistake. Is that the reason all these misfortunes keep following me?

Hindi ako maaaring magkamali. Mula noong araw na iyon ay hindi na ako tinatantanan ng multo ng nakaraan na paulit-ulit na dumadalaw sa aking isipan. My mistakes in the past will not define who I am today. I've learned from my mistakes. Nevertheless, I have to say sorry for everything I've caused him. Pero, kung bibigyan ako ng pagkakataong maitama ang mga kamalian ko, I would still do the same thing dahil iyon ang sa tingin ko'y tama. I knew I was wrong all along. Kahit pa mali, paulit-ulit kong gagawin 'yun dahil 'yun ang dapat.

Bagamat ipinaliwanag na sa akin ni Neo ang tungkol sa naging alitan namin noon ay hindi ko mapigilang hindi makaramdam ng guilt. Kahit pa itinuring nila ako sa paraang hindi kaaya-aya ay hindi pa rin sapat na dahilan iyon para bastusin ko ang kung sino man sa kanila. Wala akong karapatang gaguhin sila at umasta na parang wala rin akong kasalanan. Will they act like that if I hadn't done anything wrong? I don't think so.

Na nabuntis ako ng isang lalaki na hindi ko naman kilala at basta lang ako nakipag-sex sa kanya noong nasa Switzerland ako? Mas lalo lang sumakit ang ulo ko. I heaved a deep breath and sobbed. It was just one mistake in the past, but that one mistake had a great impact on my present. Iyong gabi na nagpakalunod ako sa kapusukan at hindi inisip ang mga posibilidad, magdadala pala sa akin sa isang sitwasyon na hindi ko inaasahan.

The damage has been done, maybe I made a mistake and i kept saying that I act accordingly, but now, it’s not the same anymore. I am reckless.

"The door is locked, Quiva." Nanahimik ako, I let my self rest for a while. Unti-unting nakapag-isip. What did I just do? Why didn't I stopped him? He fucking entered me, I never let anyone go to that extent. We just had sex, omyghad! Para akong napaso sa kanya nang mabilis akong gumalaw palayo sa kanya. "We shouldn't have done that. This is wrong. What we did was wrong! Damn!" Hysterical kong sabi at bahagya siyang tinutulak palayo sa kin.

Halos matumba ako kung gaano siya kalapit sa akin. "Tell me wife, did I do something wrong to upset you? What the f*ck I did f*cking wrong, hmm?"

He's not the problem, it's me. Mistakes aren’t meant to be done over and over again. I need to learn and to reflect. This time we need to vocalize what we really feel, we also need to communicate, there’s no reason to hide it all. He’s right, masyado na kaming maraming nasayang na pagkakataon. I don't want to have any regrets, I want to try.

Nakita ko ang pagkatigil niya na magsalita dahil sa sinabi ko. Am I right or wrong?

Umupo siya roon at nag-isip. “I have been running my businesses for over half a decade. Where and when did I commit a mistake? Sino ang nasaktan ko nang hindi ko namamalayan? Did I hurt a big and dangerous fish in the business world? Sino ang mga taong nais akong patayin at sino ang amo nila? Bakit nila ako naging target? Dàmn it! Sa sobrang dami ng mga naging transactions ko, hindi ko na ma pinpoint kung ano ang naging sanhi nito.”