PESONA SUAMIKU YANG TAK PERNAH MEMILIHKU

[Gia’s POV]

I watch the passing lights of the cities that illuminate the night’s sky, as James is driving us to a club, he has been asking me to go to with him for months now.  I am tired, like usual. My 42-year-old, single mom, introverted self does not want to go clubbing. Doing this merely as my way to finally compromise with James, who has been frustrated that we only screw late at night, and don’t go on dates. 

Being taken out on a date was something I used to look forward to years ago in my twenties and early thirties. All I got out of my dating years were betrayals, toxic relationships, abuse, and lots of heartbreak. Now, I just want to get the deed done and sleep. I don’t want to deal with the relationship drama, pain, and suffering. With James, I keep my heart walled off in a massive fortress. Nothing is impenetrable, but it is all I have left to keep sane. 

James’ night hustle is as a rap recording artist. Nothing mainstream yet. Mostly, he gets together with his friends to do recordings at each other’s homes. I am not into new rap music. Call me old fashioned, but I just don’t get into the newer music much anymore. He is talented though, and I like trying to be moral support for his artistry. 

We met several years ago at our kids’ school. I never intended on dating anyone, even him. We started up a friends-with-benefits relationship a couple months after meeting. Neither of us has even spoken about commitment or our long-term intentions. Although, I know he sees us as more. We recently started talking again after taking a two-year break from each other. 

He made me angry one day, when he snapped at me, called me names, insulted everything he could about me, all because he was drunk and misunderstood something I said about his music. I had no intention of telling him there was something I did not like about his music. He asked me what my thoughts were, and I told him it is just not my thing. Totally got blown out of proportion, and after he yelled at me for fifteen minutes while degrading me, I told him to never call me again. 

He sent me a text message and social media message every month for the two-year break. He called constantly and would leave me voicemail messages about how he screwed up, misses me, and has changed. I guess you can say, he wore me down, although I remain skeptical about him changing; people rarely have enough strength of character and willpower to change. 

When I finally did respond to him, he called me and told me that he has been making so many positive changes. He went on about how he was really working on himself, has a new hobby, and is happier. I don’t really need or want a relationship. I just decided to stop ignoring his communications. He still struggles with alcoholism, which bothers me, but he is a bit more considerate of me and my needs. The sex is good; not the best I have had, but it takes the edge off. It is not like he will be around much longer, as I have already unintentionally bridged him to his mate. 

That is correct, I make bridges. These are spiritual and magical bridges for others to cross to that which they sometimes want, need, or desire. I only found out a few weeks ago that I have this ability. Prior to that, I had thought I was cursed. You see, every time I get involved with someone, they find the woman they end up with. They break it off with me. Oftentimes, they just ghost me. It is rude and pathetic, but most people lack bravery and basic decency.  

I am a Bridge. It is a role I chose before I was born into this lifetime. My soul has reincarnated since the first human was created. Really gives meaning to the “old soul” label. To be a bridge, one’s soul must have been reincarnated for thousands of years and have mastered most of the roles they have chosen in previous lives. Few souls choose to be a Bridge. It is a very challenging soul role to level out of. 

The role also has an a la carte menu of close to a several hundred different traumatic experiences that the soul must choose twelve to go through. This is to prepare the life to be able to better empathize and connect with others. It is a bit masochistic in my opinion. Think of the decision of choosing roles before each birth into a new lifetime, as choosing a video game character and their attributes / abilities. 

There are pros to choosing the Bridge path. The main plus is that when you succeed at it, you get to choose to become ethereal, angel, demon, spirt guide, or other higher soul level entities. You get to choose whether you want to reincarnate again, or if you just want to live in the higher-level positions. Also, Bridges come with many different abilities such as, time manipulation, healer, telekinesis, psychokinesis, astral and mental projection, talking to animals and other living beings, manifesting from senses, hearing thoughts of others, and so much more. You really get well equipped before adventuring into the life game. Bridges walk between worlds, dimensions, and realms. They can connect with beings in any of those places. 

Now for the not so fun part, the rules. I have only learned of four of the rules so far from my watchers. Watchers are a panel of diverse higher-level beings, who guide, watch over, and regulate each Bridge. The rules I have learned so far are as follows:

o Rule One: Bridges are not allowed to use magic for self-benefit, hence why I am broke.

o Rule Two: Bridges are restricted in using magic or thought to cast vengeance or harm to those they have bridged, even unintentionally.

o Rule Three: Bridges must endure selected traumatic hardships to better acclimate them to various scenarios of pain, fear, hope, and despair, hence my PTSD, anxiety, and depression.

o Rule 4: Bridges cannot undo, tear down, or destroy, by any means, the bridges they laid for others. This basically also plays into the no vengeance or recourse allowed rule. 

The last thing I know about being a Bridge is that when you manifest the bridge for someone, what they are receiving on the other side, automatically puts the negative burden into the Bridge, and is placed on the person who creates the bridges, a.k.a. the Bridge. For example, every man I unknowingly was a magical matchmaker to (I had laid a bridge to their mate), I was left with pain of not finding my mate, and/or suffered extreme heartbreak, depression, etc. Another example is when I have bridged someone to financial prosperity, I received sudden loss to my finances. Why in the hell would anyone choose to be a bridge? My soul is a crazy ass who loves a challenge. Of course, she would choose to be a fucking bridge…not happy about it.