กระถางบำเพ็ญเพียรของโม่เหนียง (และรวมเรื่องสั้น)

CHAPTER ONE

JULIA

“This will be good,” Mom says for the fifth time, and I sigh deeply.

“Come on, Julia, this will be good. I promise you.” She nudges my shoulder.

I look at her, and my heart squeezes at the guilt on her face. I know she didn’t want to do this; she didn’t want to rip me away from my friends, my school, my life.

Ever since Dad left, things have been a little hard for us, but Mom took care of me; she gave me what she didn’t have, she never made me feel the lack and absence. I lived a good life. I had everything and more, but she deprived herself of companionship because of me.

I’ve always wondered why she never dated. Is it me, or does she just not want to? She doesn’t really talk about Dad, but I know she loved him. She loved him very much. I’ve seen the old pictures that she always tries to hide. All I know about Dad is that he was her first love, the man she met at nineteen, the man who stuck to her like glue, but eventually left.

Something must have happened. It is the biggest mystery of my life – why did he leave?

“You’re not saying anything, Jul. Just talk to me.” She pleas.

I tear my gaze away from the plane window and look at her.

“Does he love you?” I ask.

She blinks, caught offguard, “What?”

“Does Stephen love you? We are moving to the other side of the world to be with him. You’re leaving your job, I’m leaving school, leaving everything to be with him. We are giving a lot, sacrificing a lot for him. There has to be a balance, Mom. Is it reciprocated? Does he love you enough? We are making so many sacrifices to be with him. What is he doing to be with you?” I articulate, my brows furrowed.

She stutters, “Steve, he loves me. He loves us. He paid for our plane tickets. He bought us a house, Julia, our house, in my name. I know you’re worried about everything, but I promise you, our lives are changing for the better. He loves us, and I love him too. He’s everything I’ve always wanted.”

I nod, with a fake smile. I’m not too excited about starting over, but at least she’s excited. She’s happy, so I will be happy. She has given so much for me. It is my turn to pay her back for everything.

“Steve has two sons, Silas and Sebastian. They’re twins, and just a year older than you. I’m sure you’ll be fast friends. You’ll also make more friends in school. Oh, I’m so excited!” She gushes, and I chuckle at her happiness.

We spent the rest of the flight talking about everything. I’m a Senior in High School, and next year, I’ll be off to college. School is resuming in a few days, and I have to start with the new session. Truly, I’m not looking forward to it. It took me a while to get comfortable in school and make friends. I’m more of a nerd, which makes me more likely to be picked on. High School is full of bullies. I survived it once, and now, I have to start over.

At least, I won’t be alone. Steve’s twins could help me smooth things over.

I close my book as the plane starts to land.

Goosebumps trickle down my spine.

Everything here is different. The air is different.

Mom helps me pack my bags, then grabs hers. I hold to my book as we get off the plane.

“Steve is picking us up. Are you hungry?” Mom asks, and I nod, too exhausted to speak.

She smiles and begins chattering as we walk through the airport. I don’t respond, but she doesn’t need me to. My head is banging, and exhaustion has settled in my bones. I need to sleep for hours, and maybe swim later. Truly, I am excited for a new possibility. I try to keep an open mind.

“Steve!” Mom gasps.

I follow her gaze and see Steve.

He runs towards us, obviously enamoured by my mom.

“Oh, baby!” Mom gushes and hugs him tightly.

He cups her face and showers her in kisses. My heart twists painfully as I watch them. I’m nineteen, and I’ve never been in love, not like this, not something as solid and real. I want something like this. I want something real. I want to be loved, too.

Steve pulls away from my Mom and wraps me in his big arms.

“You look beautiful, Julia.” He presses a kiss to my forehead.

I roll my eyes, “Don’t flatter me. I’m so exhausted.”

“You’ve had a very long journey, so it’s understandable. I didn’t decorate your bedroom yet, actually, you can choose whatever bedroom you want in the room. The world is your oyster, sweet girl.” He pinches my cheeks tenderly, and I beam widely.

My heart squeezes painfully. I’ve never had a father in my life, and Steve is fitting perfectly into the role.

“Alright, come on, let’s go home.” He urges, and we file into his Jeep.

I glance out the window as he drives us to our new home. I’ve always been afraid of change, but maybe change can be good. The only constant thing in life is change.

My mouth falls open in awe as we drive past big companies, hospitals, farms, and pharmacies. This place is a big city compared to my former home. This place will be perfect, and I’m so impatient to begin the rest of my life here.

Mom sends me a warm smile, and I return it.

“Your school is only ten minutes away from home. By the way, I have a huge surprise for you tomorrow.” Steve informs, and I nod, excited.

Eventually, he drives onto a street. I frown as shivers crawl down my spine, for no reason. I push it back and smile when I see my new home.

I am oblivious to how my life is about to change.