ก่อนรักสะบั้น มิใช่ท่านหรือที่ผลักไส

 " Riley time for school!" Mom shouted.

" I'm coming..." I shouted from my room.

   I groan. God this is exhausting. I'm tired of high school and I'm grateful today's the last day of high school, and I can't wait to kiss matric goodbye after dealing with the weekend dance the school already planned for the students. 

  I jumped out of bed and quickly took my bath and brushed my teeth before I rushed out of my room hanging my backpack.

" Happy birthday!" Mom shouted, giving me a hug. 

    No shit! Today's my birthday? 

" Whoa, I totally forgot." I said as mom pulled away from the hug. 

" I got you this." Mom said and gave me a package.

" It's the dress at Charlotte's, you admired it last week, just thought I should give it to you." Mom said. A big smile stretched on her face. I smile and look inside the bag. It's truly the dress I admired last week at Charlotte's. 

" Aww, I love you Mom." I said and hugged my mom tightly.

" I love you more my darling." 

" You're running late." Mom said. 

" Yeah, I should go drop this dress." I rushed back upstairs to my room and drop the dress on my bed before running back downstairs. 

" I'm leaving, mom." I kissed her cheek and I felt her smile against my shoulder. 

   It makes me wish my dad was here. Each time she acts like this. My father lives in New Orleans. Works there and stuff. Sometimes I think he's found a new woman. But I trust my father sometimes though. He loves my mom. 

   I gave my mom a smile as I walked outside our house. 

" Morning gogo." I greeted the elderly lady who takes care of the compound sometimes. 

" Morning Ri, be careful out there." She shouted.

  I smiled at her and nodded. I walk down the street and hail a cab. I can't drive and mom thought it wasn't safe to get me a driver. So every day of my life, I board a cab. My phone pings and it's a text from Aria. She's my best friend and opposite. Aria likes boys and likes to flirt. She's down to earth and a crazy extrovert. She says whatever the fuck to whoever she thinks deserves it. Yup, that's my best friend. 

  Unlike me. I don't do well with boys. I don't think I ever liked any boy. Never dated or even kissed a boy. Which is kind of weird and sometimes I find myself questioning my sexuality. I have this secret crush on Lindiwe. She's beautiful, already graduated high school and she never for once looked at me. But I liked her. Like, admired her and Aria doesn't know I've always had a crush on Lindiwe. 

   I don't know if I'm straight or I really haven't seen a guy that I liked. I can't tell.

   I lean into my seat and look out the window. My thoughts are filled with things I would do with my life once I'm finally out of high school. 

    I get out of the cab and walk toward school. 

  She was standing in front of our school gate, wearing our school's cardigan. Her braids are wrapped up in a bun on top of her head and she was smiling at me. 

" You're late." She said once I approached her. 

" Yeah I guess. Final exam is in a few minutes and I have a lot of time." I said and smiled at her.

" Come here babe." Aria said and hugged me.

" Good morning love." She giggled and inhaled my hair. She's creepy.

" Morning." 

" Let's go to class." She said and grabbed my arm as she dragged me inside school. 

    We walk arm in arm into the school hallway. Students are everywhere. The cheerleaders and every girl who's obsessed with parties and boys are talking about the weekend party. I shook my head and huff. 

" The party is gonna be lit, yeah?" Aria giggled beside me. She's a lot shorter than me. 

" I guess." My eyes landed on Franklin. He's the school hottie or probably school bad boy. For some reason, every girl wants him but I don't find him attractive. 

   This isn't about me secretly crushing on a girl, but if I would like to date a boy, it definitely can't be Franklin. He's too much. 

   Franklin winked at me and I scrunch my face in disgust. 

  " Uh, he's so cute." Aria giggled. 

" Who cares?" 

" I care. He said he likes you." 

" Yeah. Just tell him I don't find him attractive." 

   Aria huffed. " You have never kissed a boy before, Riley. Never. This is your last day of high school and my best friend has never had a boyfriend. What the fuck."

" Aria, I'm not complaining." 

" I am worried. You don't seem to like girls right?"

" Something wrong with that?" I asked her. She didn't answer. Aria rolled her eyes. 

" So you're what, gay?" She asked as she studied my face. 

   I'm nothing. I don't even know what I am. I know I like guys, but I've never sexually wanted someone. Not even a girl or a boy, well except Lindiwe. If I'm gonna label myself, then I think I'm Bi. Something I can't tell my best friend. She's gonna freak out. 

" What's the big deal in being gay?" I asked.

" So you're gay?" She asked.

" I'm not a fucking lesbian, I'm just me. Stop talking about Franklin, I'm not into him and you know that." I said and sighed.

  We walked to class and sat down.

" I just hope you're not. I mean why would a normal person like women when there are a lot of boys, like a lot." Aria said. Aria can be homophobic sometime and it annoys me. 

" You can be really annoying at times, just take a chill pill. I'm done with this conversation." I said and sighed.

" Cool." She said sadly.

" Thanks."

     Our exams started a few minutes after and in the next forty minutes, I was done. I grabbed my stuff and left the class. 

  Aria was still copying from God knows who. 

" God have mercy." 

  I walked out and wandered around the school premises. I sat at the back of an empty class and went through my phone. 

" Hey." Someone said. I didn't have to look up to know it's Franklin 'stalker'.

" Yeah, stalker." I replied without looking at him.

" Stalker huh?" He chuckled and sat close to me.

" What do you want?" I asked, still keeping my focus on my phone.

" You're always playing hard and I just don't know why." He said.

" Franklin, what do you want?" I asked, and turned to look at him.

" A dance this weekend. It's the last week of matric and I'd love to dance with you." He said and i chuckled.

" If I will ever be there." I said and stood up.

  I threw my phone inside my bag and proceeded to leave when he pulled me back and pressed me to the wall.

" I want you alright and I don't mind going to any length. Riley, what's your problem? You keep acting like you hate me. I love you and I want you." He said and I smirked.

" Get off me, like now!" 

" Scratch that, this isn't tenth grade. Stop acting like you're some virgin, bitch." He blurted out.

" Fuck off, Frank. You're a motherfucking asshole." I said and he let go of me.

" A dance at matric night and I'm gonna get it." He said and stormed out 

" Fuck you, dipshit!" I called out and walked out of the class. 

  I found Aria in the school's hallway and she was already through with exams. 

" What's up?" She asked

" You copy too much."

" I need to pass." She said and laughed.

  I gave her back her phone and we left. I went home and saw mom preparing bacon. She smiled and hugged me.

" How's school sweetheart?" She asked.

" Great." I replied tiredly.

" You don't look too well." 

" I'm fine. Math got me..." I said and mom chuckled.

" Sorry, you're like your dad, he hates math."

" Yeah I remember."

   She looked kinda sad. We were supposed to be living with my dad but mom didn't like the idea of migrating abroad. She loved her country. And now she misses almost every single day. 

  " I'm in my room, I need to change out of my uniform." I said to mom and stood up.

" I've been thinking, do you have a boyfriend?" I stopped dead on my track. Why would she even ask that? I don't even want a boyfriend.

" I mean you've not talked about one, and no one's come looking for you." Mom said and grinned.

     No shit. 

" Look Riley, it's not like I don't like it, I'm just surprised." Mom said and smiled.

" Don't worry, go to your room." She added.

" Yeah and thanks for your concern." I said and walked out.

I waved it off and concentrated on my phone when I entered my room. Social media freaks were abusing the net. I got a notification from I* and quickly checked what it was, Lindiwe just liked my picture and I nearly freaked out.

    You don't understand, you might be thinking why it's so important. But last year she's like the hottest girl in school and every single guy wanted to date her. And I've always been the nerd who really admired her. 

   That weekend, I put on the dress mom bought for me as my birthday present as I stared at my reflection. Tonight is the last day of high school and I can't wait to get it over with. I planned not to attend the party, but Aria is gonna kill me. I applied makeup on my face and curled my hair. 

  I walked out of my room and saw Aria in my living room. She smiled at me and hugged me, she was fond of doing that.

  She pulled me out of my house, mom was waving endlessly. It seemed like she missed her teenage days.

   I saw a car packed outside and a guy was standing outside. He doesn't look like a student.

" Aria, who's that?" I whispered and she giggled.

" Riley, meet my boyfriend Elvis, Elvis meet my best friend, Riley." She introduced.

" Hi." We said at once.

" He's driving us to school." She said and I didn't hesitate to enter a free ride.

  Aria was extraordinary, who knew she was dating, not just any kind of boy, a boy with a car. I've always thought she was dating Jace, our classmate. We arrived at school and everywhere was covered with cars and students. I could hear the loud music from inside. 

" Oh my God, tonight will be hot." She whispered, chuckling.

" God I hate parties." I muttered to myself.

   I suck at parties, I'm a damn party pooper.

" Make sure you get yourself a boyfriend tonight, or better lose your virginity, if you're even one." Aria whispered.

" God I hate you." I whispered back.

  We entered the hall and everyone was busy dancing. Each with a partner. Aria walked out with her boyfriend and I am stranded.

  " God I hate my life." I grabbed a drink and chugged.

" You want a dance?" A male's voice asked from behind me.

" Franklin." I groaned.

" I just wanna dance with you."

" I'm not interested. Go get yourself a job." I said and handed my drink to him and walked out.

   I was really pissed and bored. Bored out of my fucking mind. I walked outside and stayed there. It was better and calm.

" You're hiding from someone?" Someone asked.

" Lindi." I called and turned to look at her. My heart beat skipped and goosebumps rose on my skin. 

" What are you doing here?" I stuttered. She smirked at me. 

" Heard tonight is the last day of matric. Just thought I needed a few of that high school dance." She said and I smiled.

  She checked me out and finally smiled seductively. I bit my lip and looked down on the pavement. My gaze shifted to Lindiwe and her dress. She looked beautiful in a dark blue tight short dress.  

" You wanna dance?" She asked.

" Um, yeah." I replied, biting my lip.

  She took my hand and took me back to the dance. We danced together and I couldn't hold the joy. I've always admired her. The day she sent me a happy birthday wish I almost went mad. 

  Lindi was pretty. Her days at Royal High she almost killed everyone with her beauty. She was hot and sexy and also rich. Who wouldn't risk dating her? I didn't know what this was, but I really liked it.

  Franklin was jealous, he has always thought he could get anything, any girl but I was far bigger than his reach.

" Let me take you somewhere else." She whispered.

" Alright." I obeyed.

  I quietly followed her and we walked outside. She took me to a class that was a bit dark and quiet.

" You know what I wanna do to you?" She whispered. We're so close I can feel my heart slamming against my chest loudly.

  I shook my head.

" I wanna tear your clothes apart and kiss every part of you." 

   I am stoned and shocked. I looked into her eyes, not really aware of what I was doing or what I was about to do. I've always admired her, but is this what I wanted? 

" Please do." I said.

She pushed me against the wall and kissed my neck. I wasn't expecting that from Lindi. I thought she never liked me and here she is, kissing me like I meant a lot to her. 

   And then I kissed her back. 

***

   Hi, this is my first vampire romance book and I hope you'll like it. I'm not perfect 'cause there might be flaws. 

 Also this book was previously named KISSES.