Funny Smartass Sayings Novels & Stories

The front doors swooshed open and were slammed shut, followed by loud thuds which were supposed to be footsteps, coming closer towards the dining room. "There's the missing child." Smartass began and spoke like a, well, smart ass. How is my intuition always right? What am I saying? I'm smart as fuck. That's why. Stop lying to yourself babes. You like to think you're smart. You're street smart. But you're a complete dumbass. Don't get it twisted. I hate my mind.

" Heavy sarcasm there dude." "It was a joke." He guffawed. " And I'm sorry, my Queen. You are smart. Really smart." "Thank you." "Smarter than the smartest, smarter than those who think they're smart…" "Ethan, that's enough…" "Smarter than the best, smarter than those who think they're really smart but in reality they're just averagely smart…" "That's enough!" I yelled and he wheezed, clutching his stomach. " You seem to be in a good mood today."

He in turn groaned in reluctance, and a moment's stillness later, he spoke like he was spilling gold out of his pie-hole, "I am the one who you like to call the Jerk Mummy King." Do you ever just forget to hide your expressions for a minute and then you're like 'I did not mean to make that face out loud'? Yes. That face. I was making exactly that face right about now. The Oh-sh*t-I'm-screwed face. Think! Think Lithe think! You are the sassy, smartassy most awesome little lollipop triple dipped in brilliance. Making an excuse is a piece of cake. Anything will do. Just speak up. You know you have got this. You can do this!

Max said wiping his tears. I wiped my tears as well and I sighed heavily. Silence took over and we sat there, lost in thoughts. "You know, You're not that bad." He said after a while. "What's that supposed to mean?" I asked surprised by his strange compliment. "I've always thought you were an ass but it turns out, you're a smart ass." He said and i laughed. "Is that supposed to be a compliment?" I asked amidst the laughter. "Yeah." He said laughing too.

not you dumbass' Rex says inside my head, and it is at this moment I wish I could reach inside my head and slap that motherfucker. 'Thank you, Captain Obvious' I say, giving him a sarcastic response to his stupidity. But he is right, though. God damn, I hate when he is right.

They really were amused by my words. “Are you stupid?” One of them said between laughs, shaking his head as though I had just told the most absurd joke imaginable, “Do you even understand what you are saying? We were hoping you would defend yourself by saying something normal, but this is the best you could come up with?”

"I have better things to do than talking." "Yeah, you sure do. See, uh, how do I put this without sounding stupid?" He gnawed on another apple bite, purposefully trying to get under my skin. "Ah, don't worry," he said, "I don't think there'll be any difference." As if automatic, my scathing saccharine smile stretched onto my face. "You'd know that wouldn't you?" I made sure to let the words 'after all, only stupid people understand the language of the stupid' hang in the air without actually saying it.

Why call me nerd every damn time ? I hated that word !! “None of your damn business, dumb fvck,” I replied, the anger coming from somewhere else. He smelt like oh gawd, did he sleep with the entire female university population here ? “Wow, you called me dumb. That is the joke of the century,” Lex laughed out loud while slapping his knee dramatically. Drama Queen, ughh !

This immediately pisses Dominic off and he snaps back, “The last time I checked you were the Three Stooges.” “Which,” Joseph says as he just can’t help himself, “It makes you a bit dumber than us.” Anthony is the first to protest, “You are so dumb you just called yourself dumb.” Dominic only continues to snap back, “What do they say, it takes one to know one.” “Did your lame ass just come up with that?” Mathew asks. “At least I have an ass.” “That is about all you got going for you.” “At least I got something going. You probably have not seen a pussy for years.”

"I swear, you are such a ding-a-ling!" "Will you stop hitting me?!" he growled, rubbing his head again. "I'm already dumb and you are making it worst!" As much as I was annoyed with my best friend, I couldn't help but laugh at his statement. True, Wade is a bit slow, but he isn't that retarded slow; but for making him admit to himself that he's dumb, it's just taking the piss. Oh, the idiocy of it all... "Glad to be some amusement to you," he said, clearly annoyed. "Geez, I might as well make a career out of being a human punching bag."