Novel & Cerita I Decided To Live As Me

Ngayon, ako na lang mag-isa. Kinuha ko ang isang kahon, hindi ko pa alam kung ano ang laman. Siguro nga dapat ko nang tanggapin ang bagong yugto ng buhay ko, matuto nang maging independent at umasa sa sarili ko. Huminga ako nang malalim at nagsimulang mag-unpack, sinusubukan kong mag-focus sa mga magagandang bagay.This is a fresh start, and everything will be alright. I can do this.

He looks so different from the man he always show in public. “Why would you still choose to do keep on doing this if you can just live your life just like how you usually does?” mahinang bulong ko sa sarili nang makaalis doon. How could he live hurting like that because of me? He could just continue living his life happily…

Pero paano ko sasabihin ‘yon, kung alam kong para kay Dad, isa lang siyang traitor? “I… just wanted to live normally, Dad,” mahina kong sabi. “Ayokong itago ang sarili ko habang buhay. I wanted to be me.” Tumingin siya, matalim. “You mean, you wanted to defy me.” “Hindi ganon…” “Then what?” putol niya ulit. “You think you can run your life better than I can? You think being here, pretending to be some ordinary student, will change who you are?”

dagdag ni Denver nang sumulyap ako sa kaniya. “Thank you for your concern...” I bit my lips when an idea popped up in my head. I am not sure if it's appropriate to ask this. But I am really eager to ask. “How about my usual life?” “What about it?” Zaine asked. “Well, you know me... I am a party-goer, I always want to party. I can't just be here. I still want to live my life just like before, but still with limitations.” I said.

Hinampas ko siya dahil napakislot si Dion. Kung ako pa siguro 'yong dating Indie na mahina, baka hindi ko na kinaya kung nalaman ko agad. Baka sukuan ko na talaga 'yong sarili ko sa nangyayari sa akin, baka sumunod ako sa bumubulong sa utak ko at mas saktan ang sarili dahil iyon ang tingin kong tamang gawin para makaiwas sa lahat. Rather than focusing, agreeing with my own demons, and poisoning my mind in the cruelest way, I chose to live in the moment again and create a life that I'll surely love.

In the two of us I am the one who's commonly sacrificing when it comes to our desire. I was like, I was living behind my sister shadow. And I realize that I should also come out of my shell and show the world what i've got and what can I do that other's can't do. Gusto ko patunayan at sa sarili ko din na kaya kong mabuhay sa sarili kong paa, na may magagawa rin ako hindi lang mananatiling nasa likod ni Celestia. Pero bakit ganun sa tuwing sinusubukan ko ay walang naniniwala at ang daming humahadlang.

I didn’t enroll in anything related to technology because it was already planned for me that I would study business. Akala ko ganon talaga. Since you are born rich, your life is already planned for you by your parents, and you just have to fulfill it. I tried to defy it. Why would I live a life I didn’t plan for myself? I have my own mind, so why shouldn’t I decide for myself? Why should I live according to someone else’s plans for me?

Hinayaan ko ang sariling pamumuhay na mayroon ako noon. As the time passed by, nasanay ako na mamuhay na mag-isa. Napilit ko ang sarili ko na maging independent para mabuhay. Pero hindi ko rin ipagkakaila na nami-miss ko ang buhay ko na mayroon ako noon. Just me and my make ups and everything. Ibang-iba sa mga nararanasan ko ngayon.

She smiled… Now, she knew that she’ll forever be living with her jerk ex-husband. no....scratch that.... Cause she'll forever be living with her super-hot husband. ///

Lalo na't wala akong balak ipaalam iyon sa iba. I'm a shy type of person -this has been my internal struggle ever since, the war against my self. I live my life away from people, not because it is really my preference, but because I am afraid of people's eyes. The self-doubt, it's keeping me in solitude. Kung p'wede lang na habambuhay na lang akong magtago sa lungga, ginawa ko na. Pero paano kung ang pinagpapanggapan kong tao ay sikat at maraming tunguhin sa buhay?