My Dearest Self With Malice Aforethought Novels & Stories

sigaw niyang muli at mas ibinaon pa ang kapit sa ’kin. “Ano ba Filicity, baka malaglag tayo! Tumigil ka na!” “Not until you stop breathing!” I have no choice but to defend myself more. And the next thing that happened really made my world stop. It's like a slow motion of hell . . . “Ahhh!”

I don't want to be a mistress of any man in this world because any woman doesn't deserve to be one. Malalim ang buntong-hininga ko nang bumaba ako sa cab. I am here in front of Safira's Company, having this huge shame of what I did earlier at the LMC. Makapal na lang siguro talaga ang mukha ko para humarap kay Miss Sapphire at sabihin ang nangyari kanina.

************************************ DEADLY SIN ************************************ (Dylan's POV) Marame akong nasabi na alam ko imposible at posible. Imposible na ako nga ang ama ng bata at posible din na ako. Nasabi ko na ang lahat! Lahat pati na yung mahal ko siya at yung pag- ako ko sa dinadala niya. Hindi ko yun pinangarap na ganun ang mangyayare sa pag uusap namin. Hindi ko sinasadya na magkapasa siya. Hindi ko ginusto lahat.

"Huwag mo kasing turuan ng kabalastugan o pakikipag-away si Arkan. I want him to be a good person and not a bad guy, Aldo." Tumikwas ang kilay nito bago umupo sa sofa at sumandal. Agad ding umalis sa kandungan niya si Arkan. "A good person can be bad, and a bad guy can be good. And not because I am bad, doesn't mean I don't have a heart. It's okay to be a deviant person; at least we know what we are fighting for. Too much goodness is not healthy. People tend to take you for granted. Choose wisely, Miss Selvestre."

Parang pinapatay ako ng mga kutsilyong paulit-ulit na sinasaksak sa puso ko nang makitang ganon si Thaddeus. I'm not the one for him. I don't deserve him. I've caused him so much pain, at nakakaputang ina dahil sarili ko lang ang iniisip ko. I... I became selfish during our time together. Iniisip ko nalang lagi ang sarili ko, but what about him? Sobrang naging self-centered ako nang mga panahong kami ni Thaddeus. Selfish. I always asking for more. More of his attention and time. Pero hindi ko iniisip na may mundo din siya.

Kahit gaano mo kamahal ang isang tao, mahirap patawarin kapag siya mismo ang dahilan ng pagkawasak mo. “Lahat ng tao may selfish side,” kalmadong pagpapatuloy ni Madame Concepcion. “Walang santo sa mundong ito.” Tumingin ito kay Natalyn. “Kapag may taong sumira sa buhay mo at hindi ka na makalakad habang-buhay… pero kaya mo pa ring ngumiti at sabihing wala kang galit…” Bahagya itong tumawa. “Masyado naman yatang perpekto iyon para maging totoo.”

Tama ang lahat sa paligid niya at kahit mahirap tanggapin, tama ang maliit na boses sa loob niyang hindi nawalan ng tiwalang hindi na lang basta aalis si Jeanna ng ganon-ganon na lang at babalik na para bang walang nangyari. God, he hated her and, now, he hates himself even more for hating her without being the man that finds reason to trust her. Naging makasarili siya at wala siyang ibang inisip kung hindi ang sarili niya. Hating Jeanna was the easiest thing he could do then...

Napangiti kami sa isa't isa dahil nagawa naming makaalis doon. "M-Mas malala pala ang ganoong pangyayari kaysa makipaglaban sa mga halimaw. Hindi mo alam kung makakabalik ka pa sa iyong tunay na kalawakan o hindi na," masayang wika niya habang magkahawak aming mga kamay. Mas hinigpitan ko ito saka ngumiti, "Oo nga! Nagulat ako na isa kang corporate person doon. Bongga. Gano'n pala ang other self mo sa ibang universe!"

Isang malalim na buntong-hininga na lamang ang aking pinakawalan at hindi ko mapigilang pagmumurahin na lamang ang aking sarili sa aking isipan. I am a fvcking man for goddamn sake, I shouldn't be acting like this. Fvck! Why can't I act like it's just nothing, why can't I be tough enough to accept what happened to me and just buried the fvcking disgusting memory in the deepest part of my brain? Why the fvck I am still letting it haunt me?

“If you don’t stop, they’ll hate you. And trust me, you won’t survive that.” Her words hit me like a sledgehammer, each syllable echoing louder and louder in my mind. I couldn’t breathe; I couldn’t think. Every inch of me screamed to defend myself, to push back, to deny the truth of what she was saying—but deep down, I knew. I knew she wasn’t lying. I was destroying them, and in the process, I was destroying myself. With a final, disgusted glance, Genevieve stepped back, straightening her posture and looking down at me with cold, pitiless eyes. “Stop being so selfish over your petty desires, Haven. This path you’re on—it won’t lead you anywhere but to destruction.”