Remembering นิยาย & เรื่องราว

Because now, I can’t remember it. When I forget about how her voice sounds, I would always grab this phone and watch videos of her. She was correct when she said back then that I would be thankful that she loves to take a lot of videos. The videos are the only way that I can remember her voice again. And the photos are the only ways I can see her again. I clenched my phone and placed it on my lap. The video is still playing even if I’m not watching it anymore. It’s the video where she kept on talking. She’s not shutting up on this one.

Touching him was like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you Memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favorite song Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there's no right answer Regretting him was like wishing you never found out that love could be that strong Losing him was blue like I'd never known Missing him was dark grey all alone Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met But loving him was red Oh, red Burning red May nakatingin na naman sakin na parang hindi pangkaraniwang tingin. Kaya tumingin ako sa direksyon niya pero ang bilis niyang mawala na parang bula. Remem

Nagtataka ito sa ipinupunto nang ina. “Napahawak sa ulo? What do you mean by that?” Tumingin sa kaniya ang ina niya dahil doon. “Her memories are coming back,” Nagulat si Timothy dahil sa sinabi ng ina niya dahil doon. Maya-maya ay napailing din ito sa sinabi ng ina. “Impossible Mom, you know that it is impossible! Wag mo akong paasahin mommy, she had an permanent amnesia please no,”

tanong ng mommy niya. "Minsan, akala niyo, normal lang ito, pero madalas, ang sintomas ng dementia ay memory loss ,difficulty concentrating, finding it hard to carry out familiar daily tasks, such as getting confused over the correct change when shopping, struggling to follow a conversation or find the right word, being confused about time and place, mood changes. yan ang mga common na sintomas. Parang normal lang sa tao, pero sa tulad nilang nasa edad na, indikasyon na yan ng isang sakit."

kiniwento ni Cashandra ang mga sinabi ng mag asawa kung paano siya napadpad sa kanila. ''tama nga ang hinala ko may Retrograde amnesia ka meaning nakalimutan mo ang ala ala mo bago ka naaksidente or ano bago ka nawalan ng malay .Ang tangin naalala mo lang ay nakaraan noong bata ka .''

Kahit simpleng konsepto lamang ay nagagawa niyang palawakin hanggang maging isang malaking proyekto. Isang araw ay napansin niyang nagtaka ako kung bakit halos bawat salita niya ay pinasusulat niya sa akin. Ngumiti siya. "You know, Shane, I have a condition." Napatingin ako sa kanya. "Condition?" "Stress-related memory problem. Parang short-term memory issue." Natawa pa siya nang bahagya. "Sometimes I say something important today then forget it tomorrow."

"I want to remember who I am, but everytime I start remembering things my head ache like it's breaking. Parang mabasag ang ulo ko sa sakit, natatakot ako...natatakot ako na baka kapag pinilit ko ang sariling alalahanin ang lahat lalo ko lang pinalala ang sitwasyon ko." Hinayaan ako ni Sir Nathaniel at ni Lola Minda na umiyak. Si Lola ay nakikiiyak din sa akin. Si Sir Nathaniel naman ay tahimik lang na nakikinig pero dama ko ang awa sa mga tingin niya. Nang kumalma na ako saka pa nagsimulang magsalita si Sir Nate. "Don't force yourself to remember things." seryoso niyang turan. "There are things not worth remembering."

mahinang sabi niya at masakit na tumawa dahilan para makagat ko ang ibabang labi. Yeah right. Painful memories first. Wala akong idea kung may masaya siyang ala-ala mula pagkabata. “T-The doctor’s right. My selective memory will make me remember painful if there’s more painful memories than happy memories. Then the last memory I would remember are my happiest days,” ang namamaos niyang boses ay nagsenyales na naluluha at nasasaktan siya. Ngunit wala akong magawa.

"Pero bakit ang demonyang si Brenda, bakit niya ito natatandaan? Hindi mo ba naitanong sa doktor ang tungkol dito?" Nagkibit balikat si Bella. "The minds remember what should be remember. I don't know, Patrick, wala namang malinaw na explanation ang doktor maliban sa sinasabi nito na kapag kinausap mo ang comatose patient, most likely narinig ka nila and that will help them remember something about you kapag magising na sila."

Sa tuwing pilit kong tinatandaan, umaatake ang sakit ng ulo ko. Ang sabi kasi nila sa akin nang dahil raw sa tinamo kong head and brain injury that is why it was so difficult for me to recall my past memories, past informations and events in my life. Kapag tinatanong ko naman sila, hindi nila ako sinasagot. Parang may tinatago. Hindi ako talaga mapakali. I would do anything to remember, some people would do anything to forget. How ironic.