Don't Cry For Me Novels & Stories

"I'll never walk again until you come back to me I'm down on bended knee." tumayo ako mula sa kama at naglakad papunta sa lamesa dahil baka magising pa siya. Habang nakaupo ako ay nakatitig pa rin ako sakaniya habang patuloy na kumakanta at umiiyak, F-ck. I don't f-cking care if they call me gay or what because I'm always crying like a baby. When I cry it's never a trickle and it never starts in my eyes. It begins as a feeling in my chest and a sadness in my brain. The leaking water is only a blessed release, it's one way my body chooses to cope and I guess it's a way to communicate too, whether I want to or not.

But for now, please let me cry. It hurts.

I let a heavy sigh at hinirap si daddy. "From now on dad let not just mind about each other business. Let just forget it, don't mind about me just like what you usually use dad. Your good at it, act like I doesn't exist like you use too. Let me breath dad even just this time" without bidding a goodbye I turn my back and let my tears fall. I hope this will be the last time that I will cry.

Sugat na hindi pansin at dama ng iba. "I don't have the right to cry! I shouldn't show them that I'm hurting! I should have no emotions at all because my feelings weren't valid!" Fuck! I want to ask why? I wanted to cry and shout because of the pain that I'm feeling right now. Paano ko nga ba kinakaya ang ganitong sitwasyon? Bakit ba ako nasadlak sa ganitong klase ng buhay? Buhay nga bang matatawag ang kung ano mang mayroon ako ngayon?

Kahit mukha na akong tanga rito ay hindi ko pa rin mapigilan. Damn. I'm such a crybaby!

Dalawang taon ba naman na walang araw na hindi ako umiyak kakahanap lang sa ‘yo Noah. “I hope your eyes will never cry again. You deserve happiness, kahit na hindi ko alam ang pinagdaanan mo. Pero kasi meron pa ring lungkot sa mata mo, yet kita ko rin na lumalaban ka rin sa pagpigil mong umiyak.” He really knows me, I think muscle memory na rin yung bagay na iyon. Kahit na hindi niya ako natatandaan, ganon na ganon niya ako kakilala.

Mabilis kong pinunasan ang luhang pumatak sa aking mga mata I don't want to be here anymore. This is freakingly suffocating the hell out of me. Please, someone get me out of here. My heart still pounding so hard. I hate this kind of feeling! I don't want this. I'm fine now, I started to move on... to live my life without him. Ci, get me out of here. But why the freaking freak am I crying?

mahinahon niyang sagot sa 'kin. Pinipigilan ko lang talaga ang sarili ko ngayon na huwag umiyak. Iba pa naman siya mag-isip at baka isipin niya na tears of joy ang luha ko. "Sa tingin mo ba papansinin kita kahit may 0.1% ka?" I want to ruin his hopes para magbago ang isip niya. Hindi ko siya papayagang gawin ang iniisip niya.

tinalikuran ko sya at sinara ang pinto. Nabitawan ko ang baso na kapit ko. Hindi ko na mapigilan ang pag hagulgol ko kasabay ng pag bagsak ko ang pag bagsak ng luha ko. His words never fail to make me cry, sa tuwing may sinasabi sya, sobrang lalim ng sugat na naiiwan I can't help but to hug my knees and cry silently, i know he taught to be strong. Pero kapag anak ko na usapan nahihirapan na ako

"I'm so happy , despite you not being around ang lakas mo pa rin sa Kanya. Kita mo pinagbigyan niya pa rin ang hiling mo kahit hindi mo na kami kasama." Muli na naman akong umiyak. I want to stop myself from crying but I don't why but every time I'm filming a video I always end up crying hard like this. Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit buwan buwan ko itong ginagawa. Para saan? Para kanino ba?