Romans & histoires Every Time You Go Away

"Gusto lang namin na palagi kang safe. At kahit malayo ka... sana maalala mo na dito ka pa rin uuwi." Hindi ako nakasagot. Dahil sa sandaling iyon, kahit gaano ko gustong maging matatag para sa pag-alis ko... Pakiramdam ko, mas mahirap pala ang pag-alis kapag alam mong may lugar kang laging babalikan.

Pagod na akong lisanin ang bansang ito kung palagi naman akong dinadala ng tadhana rito. “We’re fine here, April.” Ngumiti ako rito at bumuntong hininga. “Kahit ilang beses kong lisanin ang bansang ‘to, patuloy at patuloy pa rin akong kakaladkarin ng tadhana patungo rito. So, what’s the point of running away when I am meant to stay here? Forever?”

"Love, you're not. I can always have time for you." "I know," I whispered. "Paano kapag nawalan tayo ng time? There's a big possibility, right? Are we going to break up?" "Of course not," mabilis na sagot niya. "What did I do to make you overthink things like that? I'll always make time for you, okay? " For our remaining vacations, we spend a lot of time together. He always accompanies me whenever my parents are away and his family also love inviting me for lunch or dinner kaya naman halos araw-araw talaga kaming magkasama.

Pinilit ko pa rin na maging okay ako. At sa habang papalapit ng papalapit ang araw ng pag-alis nila ay mas lalo akong nalulungkot. Parang ang bilis kasi, parang natulog lang ako tapos magigising na lang ako na mag-isa ulit ako dito. “Mommy, don’t be sad kasi every week po ako uuwi dito.” Sabi sa akin ni Alec. “Okay po, mag-enjoy ka sa school.” Nakangiti na sabi ko sa kanya.

“Ayokong ginagamit bilang sandata. At higit sa lahat, ayokong makialam sa mga problema ng outsiders.” Malinaw ang salitang iyon, outsiders. Sadyang matalim, sadyang may distansya. Isang tahasang paalala na huwag siyang magkamaling isipin na tinanggap siya. Ibinaba ni Avery ang tingin. Humigpit ang hawak niya sa bag hanggang sa mamutla ang mga daliri. “Kung ganoon,” mahina niyang tanong, “bakit po kayo lumitaw? Busy kayo, Mr. Guzman. Did you really just pass by?”

"You're just escaping from everything." "Escaping and leaving are two different word." "If you're leaving dahil sa nangyari sa atin then hindi na kita guguluhin. At kung gusto mo akong iwasan then I'm willing to stay away from you. I'm sorry, alam kong mali so let's forget it kung yan ang gusto mo. I'll make everything for you to stay." "Then the best way I can forget it is to start a new life. A new start far away from here. Maybe let's forget about everything. Kasalanan ang gustuhin ka Deal Vega. I

Alam kong kapag sinabi niya ay kaya niyang panindigan. I nodded. “Okay. I will miss you. Ngayon pa lang na-mi-miss na kita,” sambit ko. He chuckled and hugged me again. “I will miss you too of course. But while I'm away, focus on your work here, okay? Don't stress yourself too much.” “I won’t. Ikaw din. Huwag kang masyadong magpaka-stress doon.” Umupo kami ulit para kumain at hindi ko maalis sa paningin ko si Calvin. Sobrang swerte ko sa kanya. Araw-araw kong itinatatak sa isip ko ‘yon para hindi ko siya maisip na saktan.

sagot ko naman na siyang ikinatango naman niya. "Sabagay, may point ka naman. Dapat nga talagang matuto ka, dahil hindi sa lahat ng panahon ay nandiyan ang parents mo." Tumango naman ako sa sinabi niya. "Yeah, anyway, I have to go. Sinabi ko kay Daddy na maaga akong aalis dahil may importante pa akong gagawin bago ang business trip," inayos ko na agad ang mga gamit ko bago ko kinuha ang bag at cellphone ko na nasa aking swivel chair. "I'll see you next week."

I recall when you said that you would never leave me You told me more So much more, like when the time you whispered in my ear There was heaven in my heart I remember when you said that you'd be here forever Then you left without even saying that you're leaving I was hurt and it really won't be easy to forget yesterday And I pray that you would stay But then you're gone and, oh, so far away I was afraid this time would come I wasn't prepared to face this kind of hurting from within I have learned to live my life beside you Maybe I'll just dream of you tonight And if into my dream you come and touch me once again I'll just keep on dreaming 'Til my heartaches end And then you left without even

Specifically for 3 years now, we have been avoiding each other ever since that accident happened. “Baby, you know Mommy can’t right? Pero when the time is right, Mommy will definitely go back, and when that happens I won’t live abroad again. Diba, I promised that to both of you?” mabilis namang tumango ang dalawa kaya nagpaalam na ako.