Funniest Tagalog Quotes Novels & Stories

One day, I come across a post on the Internet. The original poster keeps boasting about the fact that all three children belonging to his older brother are actually his spawn. "The funniest thing is, there was once when he suspected the origins of his children. So, he got someone to take the children to take a paternity test. "Guess who he ordered? That's right—it's me, his most trusted younger brother! I get to sleep with his wife whenever I want. The money he earns all goes to my sons. This means he's working for me for the rest of his life! "Just the thought of that makes me happy to no end! Ahahaha!" But the thing is, I'm the older brother who's mentioned in the post.

Alexey was once the funniest kindest heart, she trains the teen werewolves, and takes care of the Pack's chores as she tends to heal the wounds of her pack. But she was cursed from the day she was born, being a hybrid, half witch and half werewolf caught the eyes of the most powerful creatures in the world. A wizard, a Lycan, and An Angel. Alexey thought she would have a happy normal life with her human mate but everything went wrong when the king of lycans was after her powers. The wizard is after her heart and the angel wants to eliminate her. Would she be able to fight the most powerful creatures on her own? Or would she accept being used for her powers? Can she find love in all this mess being a target for three powerful men?

My father was the most feared Don in all of Sicelia. He ran every illicit arms deal and casino in the underworld, his name alone sent shivers through the Mafia world. He worried that, as his only heir, I might fall for the wrong man. So he ordered every family to send a representative, and I would choose my marriage partner by lot. I drew Bernardo Vito, heir of the Vito family. It was an arranged marriage, but I still wanted to meet him in person. To keep up appearances before the evening banquet, I stopped by a haute couture boutique. The moment I stepped inside, my eyes landed on a deep crimson velvet gown. Just as I reached for it, a sharp voice pierced the air. "I want that dress she's holding. Wrap it up for me." Before I could even react, a clerk snatched it from my hands. I clenched my jaw, forcing myself to stay calm. "I saw this dress first, and I was ready to pay. Is this how you treat your customers?" The woman laughed, as if I had just told the world's funniest joke. Her gaze roamed me with contempt, and she sneered: "This dress is worth five million dollars. A country bumpkin like you can only look. "Me? I am Bernardo Vito's favorite assistant. In this city, nothing I want is ever taken from me!" I could not help but laugh. Bernardo Vito? The very man I had drawn in the marriage lot? I pulled out my phone and dialed. "Bernardo, your favorite assistant just stole the dress I had my eye on. What are you going to do about it?"

"I used to be the well-respected Lady Kara. Everyone feared me! No one beneath me dared to so much as look me in the eye or remain sitting whenever I walked into a room, but now, I've lost everything! My life, my status, my man, all gone! I've become a nobody all because of that bitch who suddenly came and stole everything from me. I hate her so much!!!" It seems the battle she fought so hard for had been lost by Omega Kara, and she is now left to rot and suffer in a cruel world full of people just like her former self. But does the goddess give second chances? Is it possible for the darkest and evilest of hearts to turn a new leaf and become pure and white as snow? With all of her past behaviours, Kara was deemed the devil herself; now it's time for her to pay for her crimes and receive her dose of the same pain and suffering she caused others. But what will happen when the moon goddess decides not just to give her another chance to mend her ways but also an unexpected mate? The man whom she hated the most. Another adventure awaits in The Beta's Unexpected Mate (Book 2 of the werewolf mate series). Book 1- The Alpha's Hated Slave Mate Book 2- The Beta's Unexpected Mate For updates on character reveals and character quotes, as well as all of my books, follow my Facebook page, Eyitee's library.

My husband Bruno's goomah was pregnant with their second child. At the family dinner, he caressed his lover Ava's rounded belly. "This one will be a boy, the future heir to the Marino family. As my wife, it is your duty to raise him." This was the second time he had openly acknowledged one of his bastards. I didn't make a scene like I had before. I just calmly lifted my head and looked Bruno straight in the eye. Raucous laughter erupted from the family members around the table. "Remember last time, when she acted like a madwoman? Looks like she's finally learned her place." "The Rossi family's businesses have all been carved up. What can she do besides be an infertile trophy wife? She'll be kicked to the curb sooner or later." Bruno's face was expressionless, allowing them to hurl their insults at me. I fought back the tears burning my eyes and even managed a small smile. "Bruno, let's get a divorce." Bruno looked as if he'd heard the funniest joke in the world, his lips curling into a dismissive smirk. "Liliana, if you can come up with the hundred million dollars you owe this family, I'll sign the papers right now. Otherwise, stop making a scene." I didn't argue, and just dialed an encrypted number. "I accept the terms we discussed." A lazy laugh echoed from the other end of the line. "A hundred million? Merely the cost of a port. I can have it for you anytime, my princess."

"Huh," she said awkwardly, looking at her hands. Seriously, Grace, just die; she cursed herself. "But you know the funniest thing..." he said, now standing in front of her, since when, she wondered. As he traced the line of her ears with his thumb, she shivered in excitement. Boy! Who would have thought she was sensitive in that area? He forced her head up with his hand. "I am going to have you here and now, Grace, and it won’t be a joke." Grace Bush, the only child of a prominent Canadian family known for her selflessness, and sweetness, experiences a tragic incident on the happiest day of her life, resulting in the loss of her entire family. Left as the only survivor, she undergoes a profound transformation from a sweet innocent child to a wild and self-centered individual. In order to claim her late father's wealth, she decided to train herself in a well-known firm, facing unexpected challenges. Just as she contemplates giving up, fate presents her with a life-altering job opportunity, offering an escape from her troubled hometown, or did it? Noah Creed, the handsome billionaire CEO of The S.O publishing industry in New York, appears to have it all – wealth, looks, and success. Despite being divorced three times, a father, and engaged, he has never truly understood or desired love until he encounters Grace Bush, a wild and unpredictable newcomer in his film industry. Little does he know, their meeting will open a new chapter in his life.

Mom is always very strict with both my elder sisters, Esther and Emily Kingston. She always wakes them up at 5:00 am to make them study. And if they refuse to wake up, Mom will grab an embroidery needle and stab it into my arm. When fresh blood spills out, Esther and Emily will both get a fright and scramble to their desks at once to begin studying. Sometime during the year-end exam, Esther gets one easy question wrong, and I receive ten lashes with Mom's belt. Emily gets only the second-highest score in class, and I am forced to kneel on glass until my knees turn bloodied and torn. Esther and Emily feel sorry for me and fall to their knees, begging Mom to have mercy on me and promising that they will study hard and make her proud of them. Mom smiles happily and says that this teaching method works very well. However, after the SATs, Esther applies for a college out of state, and Emily tells Mom that she is eloping with a young man whom she has fallen in love with. Mom is so angry that she yanks me over and stuffs me into a huge fish tank before beginning to fill it up with water. She then takes a video of me, threatening to drown me alive if they don't listen to her and do exactly as she says. The water keeps rising in the tank. I feel scared, but I don't struggle because Mom always tells me that the only reason for my existence is to be made an example out of for Esther and Emily. She often quotes Shakespeare's "Othello", telling me about how I am the "sacrificial" dog one beats to scare a lion and teach it obedience. I think that I am considered quite a qualified dog after all, right?

After eight years of marriage, I finally get pregnant with Claude Frey's child. It's my sixth round of IVF, and my last chance. The doctor says I can't put my body through it again. I'm overjoyed, ready to share the good news with him. But a week before our anniversary, I received an anonymous photo in the mail. In it, he was bending down to kiss another woman's pregnant belly. That woman is his childhood sweetheart, the one his family watched grow up. She's gentle and well-mannered, and the kind of daughter-in-law every parent dreams of. The funniest part is that his entire family knows about her pregnancy, except me. I'm just the punchline in their joke. It turns out that the marriage I've been holding together despite all my wounds is nothing but a carefully crafted lie. Fine. I don't want Claude anymore, and I'll never let my child be born into a world built on lies. I book my ticket to leave on our eighth anniversary. It's also the very day he's supposed to take me to see the sea of roses. Before we got married, he promised me a sea of flowers all my own. But instead, I find him in front of the rose garden, kissing his pregnant childhood sweetheart. After I leave, he starts searching for me everywhere. "Don't go, please?" he begs. "I was wrong. Don't leave." He finally remembers the promise he'd made to me and plants the most beautiful roses in the world in that garden. But I don't need it anymore.

“You have to choose between death or becoming my slave. Either I give you a death sentence now, or your life becomes enslaved. I have given you the liberty to choose.”  On the night of her 18th birthday, the time came for princess Alexa of the Blue Scorpion pack to meet her mate. This particular moment was everything she’d hoped for, but in the end, what happened was not what she'd expected. She found her mate, alpha Logan of the Red Lotus pack, the youngest, most charming and most desired alpha in all the realm, also happens to be her enemy. That night, Logan was bent on achieving his revenge against Danister, the Blue Scorpion alpha. He wasn’t going to let anyone get in the way, not even Alexa. That same night unlocked a new life for Alexa, not only was her pack taken into captivity but she, the high-held princess, was also taken into slavery at the hands of her mate. For the trauma her father caused him in the past, Logan plans to do so many things to Alexa. He wants to hurt her, to make her pay for all his suffering, he wants to make life as miserable as possible for her, till the point she begs for death. Now, there’s only one problem standing in the way of his plans; the mate bond they share won’t let him. Instead, it draws him closer to her; it makes him yearn for her in the most unimaginable ways. Find out where this love story between Alexa and Logan will lead in The Alpha's Hated Slave Mate. Book 1 of the werewolf mate series Book 2- The Beta's Unexpected Mate For updates on character reveals and quotes, including all my books, follow my Facebook page, Eyitee's library.

While I was in the middle of getting intimate with my boyfriend, Hendrick West, a sudden burst of laughter came from under the bed. A chill ran straight through me. I shoved Hendrick away, scrambling to get up and check, but he pushed me right back down. "You're spacing out at a time like this? Guess you don't get to leave this bed today." I didn't question it. I let myself get pulled back in, eyes slipping shut as I tried to relax. Then the bedframe slammed loudly from underneath. I yelped and shrank under the blanket. A second later, his best friend burst out from under the bed, laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world. "No wonder you've been ditching us lately," Linda Fairbank said, grinning. "If I had such a horny girlfriend, I'd forget my friends, too!" The humiliation hit so hard that my face went pale. But Linda didn't care. She reached over and started tugging at my blanket. "He won't stop going on about how soft and full you are. What are you hiding for? Let me take a look." Hendrick finally stepped in, trying to stop her when she went too far. Linda just smacked his bare backside without hesitation. "I've been stuck under that bed forever waiting on you," she said lazily. "And instead of taking care of me first, you're busy standing up for someone else?" Without missing a beat, Hendrick took her calf into his hands and started massaging it. She shot me a smug, challenging smile. I picked up my phone and called Hendrick's mother. I said evenly, "Julie, are you aware that your son lets other people run his life like this?"