I Remember When I Lost My Mind Novels & Stories

Ipinatong ko ang dalawa kong kamay sa kaniyang likod at marahan itong tinapik. “Were you okay when you lost your memory?” He stiffened. It seems like he did not expect that question to come out of my mouth. “It was hard, I had nightmares. I always dream of you but I can’t remember your face. Every time I wake up there was tears in my eyes and I don’t even know why. It was frustrating, I had to keep up with the work in the company, and the enemies I had before I lost my memories was still there.”

"That must be the man who took advantage of you when you can't still remember anything, he was your boyfriend for years, and why can't you remember him?" "I don't know. I can remember everything from 2015, but nothing after that, I sounded like crazy. Hindi ko alam kung anong nangyari, para akong tulog, tapos nagising na lang ako at fast forward na ang lahat sa paligid ko, it's very hard to adjust with these new things, and my twins--they are not with me anymore," Isang malalim na buntong hininga ang pinakawalan ko, "I don't know what to do, Lix. I seriously don't know," Hindi sumagot si Kalix, tinignan niya lang ako, “I think, we need to visit a psychiatrist, Zy.”

Habang nag-scroll ako, may isang second lang na parang bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko. Wala namang espesyal sa nakita ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako natigilan. Hindi ko alam kung bakit parang may gusto akong maalala. Pero wala. Blank. Nilock ko ang phone ko. Enough. If my mind erased something… maybe it was meant to disappear. And if there was someone connected to those missing memories, then she no longer exists in my present. At least… that’s what I keep telling myself.

And I feel perfectly fine Napukaw ng isang makisig na lalaki ang atensyon ko habang kumakanta, hindi ko alam pero mukhang pamilyar siya sa’kin. Ramdam na ramdam ko ang bawat liriko ng kinakanta ko dahil sa sakit na ‘di ko maipaliwanag. Gusto kong magwala o sumabog sa sakit pero hindi ko alam kung paano kaya rito na lang sa pagkanta ko ibubuhos ang mga emosyon at mga salitang ‘di ko masabi. But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain And it’s 2:00 am and I’m cursing your name

Tahimik ako. May kung anong umuusbong sa loob ko. Hindi ko alam kung instinct iyon o trauma. Sa buong araw na iyon, hindi mawala sa isip ko ang mukha ni Amanda. May piraso ng memorya sa likod ng utak ko na kumikibot. Nang tumingin sa akin si Amanda kanina— parang may sandaling pagkilala sa mga mata niya. Tumayo ako at pumasok sa restroom. Isinara ko ang pinto at hinawakan ang gilid ng lababo. Huminga ako nang malalim.

Bigla na lang ako iiyak lalo na kapag hirap na hirap akong intindihin ang inaaral ko. Kapag nagkakaroon ako ng mental breakdown, bigla na lang babalik ang mga nangyari sa akin. Minsan dinamdam ko pa rin ang pagkamatay ni Mama, ni Andeng, ang pagtulak ko kay Earl, but I would always find a way to be happy. Naaalala ko ang mga bagay na 'yon dahil naging parte iyon ng nakaraan ko. I don't want to dwell on such dreary place.

ELOISE’S POINT OF VIEW I'm still in the hospital, but this time they might send me into a psychiatric ward—which I hope won't happen. I didn't realize it costs me this much to remember a single memory until now. Mas lalong bumigat ang puso ko, mas lalong naging masakit at unti-unting nagigising ang natutulog kong galit.

sabi nito kaya bigla kong naalala yung mga araw na gustong gusto ko si keith pero pinapalayo ako lage ni iczeh. " jazz, do you wanna know how did you lost your memory?" dagdag pa nito. ni hindi ko ito nililingon. naguguluhan ako sa mga sinasabe nito. " it is when our mother died. she died infront of you." sabi nito. bigla naman pumintig ang ulo ko na may kasamang pagkirot. napakapit ako sa ulo ko kasabay ng pagguhit ng mga larawan sa aking isip. may magandang babaeng nakangiti saken na pinapaalis ako. teka.. sino naman yon?

patuloy niya What i will lost everything, my memories? Malilimutan ko ang pamilya ko at Si Vaughn. Pakshettt iniisip ko palang parang hindi ko kaya, parang winawasak ng paunti-unti yong puso ko Tinignan ko si mama sa mga mata at umiling-iling "I can't lose my memories again Ma" "No Aliah magpapa-Opera tayo whether you like it or not" maawtoridad na sambit ni Mama

My voice cracked with confusion. “We’re in a hospital. Don’t worry, you’re safe. You’re with us. May masakit pa ba sa ‘yo?” I shook my head weakly. “Wala… I-I’m sorry. Did I lose consciousness? We were on the beach…” “You did,” he admitted, his voice rough. “You lost consciousness yesterday. Don’t apologize. The important thing is that you’re okay.” His gaze softened, though his tired eyes betrayed the fear he had endured. “Yesterday…” I whispered. My mind felt foggy. Every time I tried to remember, it was like smoke slipping through my fingers. I exhaled and chose to let it go, to calm myself instead of forcing it.