If I Die Mga Nobela at Kwento

I'm not scared to die but not the people close to my heart. "Be here in twenty or else someone will die today.” Then he ended the call. ___________________________ 02-12-2025

Napatawa naman ito at pinisil ang ilong ko. "Silly girl, kung nakakamatay ang mahalin ka… then siguro nga, I am dying."

"W-What if hindi ko kayanin? W-What if...-" "No, Van! Kayanin mo. P-Please," Umiiyak na saad niya. "k-Kurt." "I-I can't lose you, Van!" "I- I am dying, Kurt. There is nothing you can do about it," nanghihinang saad ko rito.

Pero wala, nasa gitna yata ako ng pool napunta. Ilang sandali pa ang lumipas, naramdaman kong unti-unti na akong kinakapos ng hangin sa aking baga. May darating pa kaya na sasagip sa akin? Iyon lang ang tanong na nasa isipan ko. I can’t die. Hindi puwedeng sa tubig din ako mamatay gaya ng nangyari sa kapatid ko. Hindi puwede.

“If I die…I just want to tell you how much I love you…I am scared now not because I know that I am gonna die soon, but because I am scared not to see you and to be with you when I die.” Naitakip ko ang palad ko sa aking bibig dahil sa sinabi niya. “I…I love you, Gavril…”

Nabitin ang luha niya nang makitang tila pinapagalitan nito ang sarili. “I’m dead. I’m f ucking dead,” he murmured under his breath like he already has a death sentence.

‘Di ‘kaya mamatay na’ko sa heart attack? I need to have a check up with our family doctor. I’m not ready to die! I will tell this to daddy, cause what if it's my last day! Omg, the horror of not saying goodbye to your loved ones when you’re going to die na, I’m going to call him later. Of course after partying, I need to enjoy my life before I die. Ngunit bahagya akong napalunok ng may maramdaman akong presensya sa likuran ko, he’s too freaking close! I want to tell him that I need a personal space but heck, I think I like it.

At oo binalita ako pero wala ni isang picture o mukha ko sa tv wala kang makikita. Baka gusto mong magpaalam na sa Mundo kapag ginulo mo ako. Baka mas gusto mong maunang mawala..kaysa sa plano mong patayin ako. Siguro ang alam ng lahat mabait ako o mamamatay tao? Ang totoo niyan mabait lang ako sa mabait..pero kapag gusto mo akong patayin?pwes sa tingin mo uurungan kita?asa ka! *****

Ang tanging dasal ko na lang sa mga gabi ay sana, kung totoong matanda at may edad na talaga ang mapapangasawa ko, mamatay na lang siya agad. Ang sama pakinggan, I know, but it’s the only way I can see a glimmer of freedom. Kapag nawala siya, at least matatapos na ang obligasyon ko, at magiging biyuda man ako, at least hawak ko na ang sarili kong buhay. Mabilis na sana, para hindi na ako magtagal sa impiyernong ito. Napapaisip ako, what if he was someone else? What if it was someone like Sir Dwayne? The thought sent a jolt of electricity down my spine.

Because I think there's no other choice for me but to just die. I feel so dirty. I feel so unwanted. I feel so useless, my life is pointless. My mom was the only one who ever loved me and now that she's gone, who's gonna be there for me? The wind blew and I realized I just need to die to end this nightmare, this nightmare that I've been going through for years. If I die I will be free of this nightmare.