Novel & Cerita If I Die

Because I think there's no other choice for me but to just die. I feel so dirty. I feel so unwanted. I feel so useless, my life is pointless. My mom was the only one who ever loved me and now that she's gone, who's gonna be there for me? The wind blew and I realized I just need to die to end this nightmare, this nightmare that I've been going through for years. If I die I will be free of this nightmare.

Walang pakialam. "Lucas..."tawag ko sa kanyang napatigil malapit sa kinauupuan niya. I want to know something. Kahit alam ko na ang magiging sagot niya. Gusto ko pa rin marinig muli na manggaling sa kanyang bibig ang kasagutan. "If I die tomorrow, are you going to be sad?" Nakangiti kong tanong. Kahit na sobrang nasasaktan na ako.

I will never waste this, never. Living like a wealthy man but without her, I can't let it. I would die and find her even if in afterlife. I can't live without her beside me. I wouldn't allow it. Never. Presensya nga niya mawala hirap na ako. Paano nalang kung wala talaga? Paniguradong nasa mental na ako.

I don't care what she does, even if she cries for a long time or even if she hurts our bodies. That's better because I don't have to live anymore, I'll just die. But that's not how I want my death, I'm going to die because I didn't kill myself. I will die because I really died, I don't want even my death to be defiled - Myself. That way, I died clean. Did nothing wrong to himself and just really died. What is my dream? I dream of disappearing from the world. To be gone, and stay away in this dark place.

Even if it means that he has to suffer longer and I have to suffer forever. I sound selfish, but I don't want my child to die... I want him to live. I want him to know that life is amazing. We live a lot of times, we only die once. I want him to know that despite of having an ugly future, there is still beauty in it.

I'm not scared to die but not the people close to my heart. "Be here in twenty or else someone will die today.” Then he ended the call. ___________________________ 02-12-2025

It felt like everything had a crush on me while looking at the dead body. "I didn't know that I hurt you that day, I didn't know that I ruined you that night. I did not know you were going to die. Sana man lang ay naging masaya ka bago ka magpahinga..." wika ko habang umiiyak, nakatingin sa kanya. Is there any chance that we cross our paths again? When that happens, can we make memories again, the happy one, I want to be with you until I die, Meggay.

Umiiyak ako sa kama ng ospital, na may monitor na mabilis ang tunog. Kung mamatay ako, walang iiyak para sa akin. Marahil totoo iyon. Marahil iyon nga ang aking tadhana, isang suportang karakter lamang na matatabunan at mamamatay.

Mariing napapikit ang aking mga mata nang mapansing kakalabitin na nila ang gatilyo. We'll be dead. Ang unang pumasok sa aking isipan ay ang aking pamilya. What will happen to them if I will be dead? Paano sila mabubuhay nang wala ako? Hindi ko pa naman pinaghahandaang mawala sa mundong 'to eh.

Hindi ko alam kung may sense pa ba ang magiging desisyon ko pagkatapos nito, pero I still need to try. I don’t want their deaths to be in vain. And I don’t want other people, especially those who are the closest to me, to be put in danger again because I am back here. If I have to live again after this and never come back, I am more than willing to do it. As long as no one will get hurt again... or worse... die because of me.