Don't Be Too Hard On Yourself 소설 & 이야기

I was fighting the wrong battle all this time. "What if I don't know how?" mahina kong tanong. His expression softened. "Then start small." Napatingin ako sa kaniya. "Stop apologizing for existing in places you deserve to be in," aniya. "Stop shrinking yourself just to make other people comfortable. And stop thinking you need everyone's approval before believing in your own value." Tahimik lang akong nakatingin sa kaniya habang unti-unting bumibigat ang pakiramdam ko.

sabi ko, diretso sa mata niya, “huwag kang susuko. Kung umatras ka ngayon, ibang babae ang papalit sa’yo .Ikaw rin..” “Pero ayokong ipilit ang sarili ko,” sabi niya. “Ayokong magmukhang desperada.” Ngumiti ako. “Hindi mo ipipilit. Aakitin mo lang.” Nanlaki ang mata niya. “Nina—” “Listen to me,” putol ko. “Hindi mo kailangang gawin lahat. Be present. Be gentle. Be understanding. Let him feel na ikaw ang nandiyan noong wala ang iba.”

Walang pag-aalinlangan nilang sinasabi sa akin ang nararamdaman nila, at hindi man lang ako sinisisi. Hindi kagaya sa ibang mga magulang na kahit alam naman nilang mas may kasalanan ang ibang tao, sinisisi pa rin nila ang anak nila sa bagay na hindi naman niya ginawa. “Don’t blame yourself. Hindi mo ‘yon kasalanan. Wala kang kasalanan. You were just blinded, sweetheart.”

Bilang matagal na niyang kaibigan, hindi niya maiwasang makaramdam ng awa. "Imbes na pahirapan mo ang sarili mo, bakit hindi ka na lang mag-move on? Mabuti pang piliin mong maging masaya, kahit isang araw lang."

It's like I'm doing my best but no one sees it, but if I made a mistake they all see it. I sighed. Itinabi ko na ang cellphone ko at humiga na sa kama. This overthinking and self blame won't help me but I just seem to like doing it. I hope I can go where there's nothing like her. How can somebody don't appreciate the efforts you did? May bayad ba ang "thank you" at "sorry"? Hirap na hirap silang sabihin 'yon na parang krimen. Pumikit na ako at unti-unting nakatulog.

Puwede ikasisiya o ikasisira. Life has given you trials and problems, hardships and pains, but it will surely teach you a lesson. Kahit masira at madurog ka man, 'wag kang susuko. We each have our own process of how to accept and heal ourselves, the important thing is that we keep fighting.

Napatango na lang ulit ako sa sinabi niya. She's right. Hindi masama ang makuntento ka na lamang sa kung ano ang makakaya mo kasi lahat naman ng tao may hangganan ang mga kakayahan nila bagaman hindi masama na sumubok kung hanggang saan ba talaga ang makakaya mo pero kung hindi mo talaga kaya then do not force yourself to do that matter kasi baka mahirapan ka lang lalo na tanggapin ang bagay na hindi naman talaga para sayo.

Isa pa, baka lalo itong mabwisit at maalala ang ikanaalsa ng presyon kanina. "Aw!" Anito nang diinan niya ang daliri nito sa paa. "I'll stop the bleeding," she smiled, "Just hang on. Whatever it is that makes you mad, you better always think of yourself first. Wala naman magagawa ang pagwawala mo kahit galit ka, mabuti sana kung 'yong kinaiinisan mo ay 'yong paso na sinipa mo kanina, nakabawi ka talaga. The problem is, hindi naman. You only hurt yourself more," pangaral niya rito.

She was blinking multiple times and thinking deeper. "You should never settle for less, sining. I don't personally know your friends, but I know you enough. And based on my experience, don't get friends that find convenience in you. Never settle for less is also applicable for friendship, believe me. You should never be a part of an option; you're supposed to be there as well, regardless of the circumstances. Don't be too naive in life; it will just hurt you. Don't be too kind as well. Kindness sometimes doesn't do you any good."

“Ako na hindi ikaw iyon. Alam kong hindi ka duwag. At alam ko rin na hindi ka basta-bastang sumusuko sa hamon ng buhay. It’s normal and very much okay to cry because pain demands to be felt one way or the other. At pagkatapos mong umiyak ay bumangon ka kasi lahat naman tayo ay minsan sa buhay natin ay nadadapa at nalulugmok. At nasa atin na iyon kung babangon ba tayo at lalaban sa hamon ng buhay o hahayaan na lang natin ang sarili nating madapa, malugmok at magdusa ng habambuhay. Pasasaan ba’t mawawala rin ang sakit. Pasasaan ba’t makakalimutan mo ring minahal mo siya. He will nothing be but a distant memory to you.” "Pero alam mo kung ano ang hindi mo dapat na kalimutan? Iyon ang mga aral n