Novel & Cerita Jealousy

I was sure that the whole grade problem I felt for him was just annoyance but now, I am frustrated. I did not let him talk anymore and went inside immediately. As I was on my way, I realized that he got a point. I am such a lame daughter. Faking myself in front of my parents even when they should be the one to know me the most and trying my best to keep up with their expectations despite the pressure I felt just because my pace is slower than their dreams. Wow, what a can opener of broken childhood dreams and longing is Isaiah Thomas. I feel like I want to punch him. Pointing that out to me just makes me feel more miserable. Gago siya.

Sunod-sunod akong napalunok at ramdam ko ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko. “Jacob… it’s not about them slacking off. It’s about you letting… this,” she gestured between us, “cloud your judgment. You’re letting jealousy dictate the rules.” Pagkarinig ko ng salitang iyon ay natauhan ako. Nawala ang atensyon ko sa kanyang labi at muli akong tumingala sa kanya. “Jealousy?” I scoffed, trying to mask the raw edge in my voice. “This isn’t about jealousy. This is about respect. Discipline.”

Kaya makikita mo ang sarili mo habang naliligo. Hindi ako makapaniwala na Pinagpantasyahan ko ang sarili ko. Ang dami ko palang pasa. Wait? May pasa ako sa buong katawan! but??? hindi naman ako anemic. bakit may pasa ako? Sandali. Pati sa leeg?? naalala ko, Hinalikan nga pala ako dito ng mukong yun. Kung ganon??? Did? Did he mark My whole body with his kiss???

She didn't glance at their direction again, no, she's avoiding to look at them as much as she can. Huminga siya ng malalim ng ilang beses at sinubukang palisin sa isipan ang samu't-saring senaryo na na-iimagine niya. What if she's just overthinking? Why is she mad anyway? Is it because Jeffrey didn't message her for two days? Or is it because of Jeffrey's smile toward the woman? Or is it because the woman was undeniably gorgeous and sophisticated it hurts her pride? Is she jealous? It's so unusual for her to feel jealousy.

And now, I was walking straight into the fire. I might lose my job. I don't even know what Camille would feel after knowing this. Disappointed... or worse, mad and disgusted. I feel like I'm hanging by a thread. Like I'm floating and couldn't count how many steps I took. I feel disgusted with my self. I lose control....all that for lust that I thought can turn into a real one...love. But look at me now, no one's here to witness what I'm feeling right now.

At inalis ang pagkakayakap ko sa kaniya. "Hindi ko din alam kasi ppwedeng ang nararamdaman mo ngayon sakin ay infatuation lang, kasi kwento mo minahal mo si Cheska nang nasa tabi mo siya, papano kung mahal mo lang ako dahil ako ang kasama mo. Nakakatakot na namang sumugal." Sabay labas ko. Ewan ko din ba sa sarili ko dahil siguro natatakot na naman ako.

Nang mapansin ang kakaibang lungkot na bumahid sa magandang mukha nito. Was it jealousy he saw in her eyes? Sumipa ang saya sa dibdib niya sa pakaisiping nagseselos ang dalaga kay Mandy. Pero hindi niya gusto ang lungkot na bumalot sa kislap ng mga mata nito. He preferred to see pleasure and lust in her eyes sa tuwing aangkinin niya ito—damn it! Why was he thinking about taking her?

“So this…” A bitter laugh escaped my lips. “...this is what jealousy feels like.” Masakit pala. Nakakabaliw pala. Unti-unti ka nitong kinakain mula sa loob. It makes you believe things that were never certain to begin with. And worst of all... It turns out jealousy can weaken even a man who has spent his entire life controlling everything. And maybe… This wasn't just jealousy. It wasn't just possessiveness. It wasn't just the fear of losing her to someone else.

Tumawa ang babae nang muli itong sumayaw na parang robot. Iinom na lang niya ang mga pakiramdam na alam niyang magpapahamak sa kanya. She knows what she felt. That’s jealousy! Jealousy is a red warning sign that means danger! And she will drown that feeling with alcohol.

"Pero para sa akin kasi, kapag nagseselos ang isang tao sa simpleng bagay lang ay malamang wala siyang tiwala sa'yo. At bilang babae masakit sa parte natin na pagdudahan." "Not all—" "Yeah, not all. But that's my own perception. My definition of jealous. I hate jealous people because for me its shows a lack of trust in your partner. At kung magkakaroon man ako ng karelasyon, I won't settle for a jealous type of man like that. Ayokong masakal," ani Kyline kaya agad akong napatayo sa kinaroroonan at dire-diretsong lumabas ng restaurant.