Stand Up Comedy Teks Singkat

I had a unique profession. I was a breakup specialist. I did not need to go to court or write any contracts for that. That was a lawyer’s job. Everyone kept saying that love was priceless, but a couple who professed their love to each other for an entire night could be paying me tons to break their relationship up the following day. I was shaking my head upon those matters when I received a message from my husband, Matthew Grant, asking me to pick our wedding anniversary’s destination. A few seconds after that, a beautiful woman walked into my office. She appeared timid and had to take a lot of time to summon the courage to speak. “I’d like to hire your services for my boyfriend. He has decided to divorce his wife.” I made no comment as I picked up the documents she had handed me, only to see Matthew’s name on the paper. I froze, while the woman sitting in front of me ducked her head and continued, “My boyfriend says that his wife is a good person and that he doesn’t want to hurt her.” I smiled as I stared at the picture; it clearly was Matthew, but I had the strange feeling of seeing a foreign person too. My heart throbbed, and I could only lament. This was my third year as a breakup specialist, and I was actually hired to break up my own relationship.

Kyra Walter, the Luna of the Silvershade pack is a wolfless omega. She devoted three years of her life to her choosen mate Dane Walter. But one night changed everything for her. On the night of her 21st birthday, her first heat hit her. She ended up in the bed of Dane's adopted father, the Alpha king and her husband was busy cheating with his Beta, and her best friend. ..... 'King Alpha, i ..I am Dane's mate' she whispered. Her breath a shaky whisper. His scent, clouded her judgment, and she found herself leaning closer to him. This would end up in the biggest scandal if this gets out. But he has other ideas. 'But still you gave your virginity to me' he smirked. ..... As Kyra's forbidden relationship with her ex's father started to become intense, secrets from her past and present threatened to break them apart. Will Kaiser accept the enemy? Or will she be castrated like the others? What will happen when their relationship is exposed infront of the people she cares about? Will she lose everything she holds dear? Or will she leave him? What will happen when she realized who she really is? Will it change their fate? Will this forbidden relationship end when they realize that they are each other's enemies?

My best friend, James Swift, went back to the day he was supposed to reconcile with his extremely wealthy birth parents. He was unwilling to be a puppet controlled by the rich, so he was unwilling to return to his birth parents. Hence, he asked me to be his replacement without any hesitation. I looked at his mother, who was wearing a lot of diamond rings, and his father, who was dressed in old-money clothes. I immediately replaced James’s position. It was as if any hesitation would be a huge disrespect to this unexpected wealth. Five years later, James showed up with a DNA report and asked me to leave the Swift family. However, he was too late. After five years, I was no longer just a replacement for him. I was already the right-hand man of Swift Corporation. No one would threaten my status in this family.

When I was five years old, I was kidnapped by the human traffickers. Later on, I was abandoned at Dreadvault Isle's prison meant for serious offenders located in the infamous no-man's land of Cloudguard Continent. In order to avoid dying from starvation, I clung to Edgar Blythe, who was a serial killer with the highest bounty known on the Internet, and called him "Grandpa Eddie". Then, I moved to grip Franklin Graves, a former boxing champion, by his diamond-crusted belt just to beg for scraps. Finally, I entangled myself around a top-tier assassin's leg while yelling at the top of my lungs, "As long as you don't let me starve to death, I'll make sure to take care of you once you grow old!" All the international mercenaries, arms dealers, and professional assassins were stunned by my declaration. In the end, they gave me some leftovers from their own plates. That was how I was raised in prison. Since my grandpas have enemies all over the globe, the first thing I do after returning to the country is act like a cowardly impoverished student. When I'm a college sophomore, Leonard Hargrove, a rich scion from a conglomerate, has accused me of stealing his laptop. He even beats me up relentlessly on the campus field and breaks three of my ribs by stomping on my chest. To make things worse, he forces me to swallow blood-drenched soil. I'm in so much pain that I've practically gone nuts and bitten off half of Leonard's ear as a result. Jordan Chappel, the dean of the college, kicks me to the floor when I meet him later on in his office. "Do you really think you're in the right for stealing from someone else, you broke bastard? All he did was hit you a few times! It's not like you'll die from those attacks! "You'd better tell your guardians to come here as soon as possible! I want to see them groveling to me and apologize on your behalf!" After spitting out a mixture of blood and saliva, I turn to stare Jordan dead in the eye. "Are you sure you really want my guardians to show up?"

On my twentieth birthday, my father asked me to draw from a box of straws. It was to pick a husband between William Smith and Austin Smith to inherit North Town. The short straw represented Austin, while the long straw represented William. No matter how hard I tried, I could not get the long straw. However, I was certain that I did not want to marry Austin. I drew straws for three years, but it was to no avail. I had no choice but to tamper with the straws to marry William as I wished. However, ten years into our marriage, he was no longer gentle and kind. He had turned into a really cold person. He neither returned home nor touched me. Even when I threatened him with a knife, he refused to talk to me. Despite feeling hurt, I was unwilling to let him go. That was until I watched him kick away the only medicine I had for my asthma while I was writhing on the floor. “I was the one who switched out the straws. There was no long straw, yet you forced me to marry you. Mandy died from a broken heart, so you should pay with your life.” When I opened my eyes again, I was holding a short straw. I calmly said, “Since it’s the short one, I choose Austin.”

A simple country girl, standing in for her sister to bring good luck, marries the richest man who is in a vegetative state. Without love, having money is enough; being a carefree and happy little rich woman isn't so bad. Unexpectedly, her vegetative husband suddenly stands up. "I heard that you've been telling everyone I'm all looks and no substance? And you want a divorce?"

For three years, Heidi served Lucas with all her heart, showering him with endless love and doing her best to be the perfect housewife. But on their third wedding anniversary, he slammed the divorce papers on her face. "Did you think I would never know that you married me because of money? Whatever Grandpa paid you, I will triple it. Just sign the divorce." To him, she was just a gold digger. Heidi's reality shattered, and everything made sense when she found out that his Ex had returned. For him, she endured hardships and humiliation. She not only gave him her heart, but also dropped her identity as the wealthiest heiress in Phoenix City. Realizing that all her efforts were futile… She will never be the hopelessly desperate housewife anymore. Lucas is soon to know that he "Shouldn't Mess Up with His Hidden Heiress Ex-wife." As layers upon layers of secrets get revealed, he'll be crawling on his knees, holding her leg and begging her to come back. No way! She has an empire to inherit.

"Gold digger, home wrecker, slut and whore." Those were words Mikayla was subjected to hearing during her childhood and they scarred her forever. Mikayla is determined to never put herself in a position where she'd be called such ever again, which is why she is determined to never love a specific type of man; rich, handsome billionaires. Now a respectable doctor living a peaceful life, Mikayla is not going to let anything rock the boat and disturb the calm of her life, not even the handsome billionaire CEO who has set his sights on her. But Cael is not ready to let the strangely seductive woman out of his grasp after the one night they spent together. He is determined to claim her as his own, to mark her as his forever. Will he succeed in winning her elusive heart? Find out in Mikayla's Mistake.

Dangerous. Forbidden. Unattainable. A cutthroat assassin on the run from the mafia is Olivia Hunter's decade-long crush. Eight years his junior, she's like a baby sister to him. He will never give her the time of day. Or so she thought. Until she woke up naked in her brother's best friend/new boss' bed. ### Brooding new COO of Hunter Industries Harmon Chancellor, is billionaire Will Hunter's found brother. These men would die for each other. Not fucking Will's baby sister was a given. A drunken moment of weakness and four years of restraint shatters. Harmon and Olivia fuck until dawn. Coming to his senses once sober, Harmon plans to escape on a business trip to Cupid’s Cove. He warns Olivia not to follow, but she stubbornly does anyway. Enter mafia princess/assassin, Robbie Marino. She's on a mission to drag Ghostblade home, by any means necessary. When Harmon learns that Olivia accidentally led the wildcard assassin straight to him, he's livid. He imprisons the spoiled billionaire's sister in his suite in a desperate bid to keep her safe. She wants answers he can't give her. He wants to fuck her forbidden pussy to shut her up so he can outsmart a mafia king. They can't both get what they want. Can they?

Giordano Pellegrini, my Underboss husband, is swamped with work every day. In order to make sure that he can attend my birthday party, I've pre-booked two hours of his time half a year in advance. But the moment Giordano arrives at the party venue, he receives a message on his communicator. "Honey, someone has blocked a shipment of firearms. I need to deal with that matter right now. Next time, I'll celebrate your birthday properly with you." Our son, Fabiano Pellegrini, follows Giordano out of the venue as well. "Dad and I will deal with this matter. We'll also make it up to you with another birthday gift next time." Despite feeling a little disappointed, the emergency did come all of a sudden, so I can only nod in acceptance. But once Giordano and Fabiano leave, I secretly stalk them. I'd like to see which idiot dares to block the ship owned by me, the Donna of this mafia family. Also, I'm interested to see what sort of solution Giordano and Fabiano can come up with. After all, Giordano is only an Underboss in name.