Stumble Over My Words Meaning Novels & Stories

“I'm not giving you mixed signals, Sloane. Kitang-kita mo naman ang mga ipinaparamdam ko sa ‘yo ‘di ba?” “I'm asking for clarification.” “I thought there's a saying that 'actions speak louder than words'? Aren't you aware of that?” “I am,” Sloane retorted, her eyes watering. “But actions without words are confusing! Hindi ko alam kung saan ako lulugar! Hindi ko alam kung may dapat ba akong asahan sa ‘yo pagka-kinabukasan kasi gulong-gulo ako!”

Tahimik lang siyang tumango bago naupo sa tabi ko. Nagsimula na ang meeting. Halos wala akong maintindihan sa mga pinag-uusapan nila. Puro tungkol sa negosyo, proyekto, at mga numero. Tahimik lang akong nakaupo. Paminsan-minsan ay tumatango ako kahit wala naman akong naiintindihan. Ara, mukha kang tanga. Ba't ka tumatango? Napailing ako sa sarili.

"Yo-You are not dead inside and you are not cold either!" At patuloy pa rin siya sa paglakad, napasinghap ako at nagpatuloy sa pagsisigaw ng aking nararamdaman. Buong loob akong nagsalita ng malakas despite the fact that I can't help myself from stuttering. "Yo-You are actually the opposite of what you think you are!" Nagsimula nang pumatak ang aking mga masaganang luha habang hirap na nagsasalita.

hiyawan ng lahat. Ilang sandali pa ang lumipas bago ko nahigit ang hininga. May ilang butil ng luha na kumawala sa aking mata kasabay ng mahinang pagtango. Mas lalong lumaki ang pagkakangiti ng lalaking nakaluhod kahit walang salita ang namutawi sa aking labi. Lumunok muna ako bago nagsalita.

What the hell is happening to me? "W-wala. Lumayo ka nga," "Why I are you stammering? I won't eat you..." he chuckled but I found no humor on it. I don't know how to answer. Parang biglang nag-blanko ang aking isip. Nanatili lamang akong nakatitig sa kaniya. Unti-unting naging seryoso ang mukha nito na kanina lamang ay nakangiti. Ilang beses akong lumunok para mawala itong bumabara sa aking lalamunan.

Mahina pero desidido ako sa bawat salitang binitawan ko kay Fiona. Feeling stuck in a terrible situation that I brought upon myself, I feel like I'm in a never-ending nightmare. It's like I built a maze of problems, and now I'm trapped inside, with no way out. I can't help but blame myself for all the mess I'm in.

Shrinking under the weight of their judgment. Then it happened. A water bottle came flying from the crowd, barely missing my face. The sudden shock made me stumble—my heel nearly caught the edge of the runway. Gasps filled the air, followed by laughter. My legs wobbled. My vision blurred. The humiliation burned hot in my chest, and the noise around me seemed to grow louder, more vicious, more inescapable.

Humugot ako nang malalim na hininga at diretsong sinabi ang nais ko. "My birthday is tomorr-" "So?" he cuts me off. Aminado akong sa ginawa niyang iyon, hindi lang ang salita ko ang pinutol niya. Miski ang confidence kong ayain siya. I started stuttering, hindi makahanap ng tamang salita. "Uhmmm... ano kasi... ano..." He shook his head in disappointment when I couldn't voice out what I wanted to say. I bit my lower lip in disappointment, too.

His words are like a rope that is tugging the vulnerable state inside to make me wander outside my comfort zone. Nakakapanibago. Sometimes, I get overwhelmed. But most of the time, I learned.

Her words keep flashing like broken tape on my head. Damn it!