ชาติภพนี้ ข้าขอเป็นภรรยาและมารดาที่ดี

RAINA’S POV

“Where is my husband?” My voice cracks as I rush toward the bolted door of Alpha Xavier’s chambers.

I was  writing my final doctorate exam when news reached me that my husband was back from his two-month trip on short notice. In other words, exam postponed. In my three years of marrying Xavier, nothing has ever made him cancel his trip; not even the deadliest sicknesses.

“Is he sick?” I am breathless at this point, sweat dribbling down my spine. The air is chilly from the rain, but my entire body burns with worry.

“Luna, you have to calm down,” the Head Beta says, rushing to the door before I get  to it. “The Alpha isn’t sick.”

To my surprise, he blocks the entrance with his body, preventing me from walking in. I stare at him in confusion, and he immediately explains, “The Alpha is having his siesta. He wants no disturbance.”

It’s windy outside, and the clouds promise a storm, yet the Head Beta has beads of sweat across his forehead. His eyes are fidgety, and none of the other guards dare to look me in the eye.

Something is fishy.

“I’m his wife. I sure as hell do not belong to the disturbance category,” I say snappishly to the Beta.

“But—” he begins to protest.

“Step away!”

The Beta exchanges looks with the others, and with a sigh, he takes a step to the side.

“You shouldn’t be here, Luna,” he says under his breath as I walk past him. He shuts the door behind me, and I am alone in the clean, minimalist space of Alpha Xavier.

The smell of food filters through the air, and I wonder who is having a feast in my husband’s chambers.

Without taking off my rain-drenched coat or boots, I stomp toward the dining area. Soft murmurs and stifled laughter echo from the hallway.

My heart thumps hard against my ribs. Xavier is clearly not having his siesta, and there are far too many voices in this chamber than usual.

Without knocking, I walk into the dining area. The whole room falls silent, as if a ghost has just walked in.

The dining table is occupied by my parents, my brothers, Xavier’s parents, Xavier and—

“Oh my God!” I gasp, my heart almost jumping out of my chest. “Jayda!”

I can’t believe my eyes. My twin sister is back!

I rush over to the table where she is seated. I crumble to my knees and pull her into a tight embrace.

Tears trickle down my face uncontrollably as the familiar scent of her citrus shampoo wafts through my nostrils.

“Where have you been?” I finally ask, sniffling from the cold and the sudden burst of tears.

She still looks beautiful—more beautiful now than before.

“It’s been six years! Six years!” I cry out in disbelief. 

She smiles at me softly and is about to explain when Xavier places his hand over hers on the table and cuts her off.

“Jayda has been through a lot. Rather than you throwing insensitive questions at her, you should be happy she’s back.”

I look at my husband, my eyes widening at his sudden harshness. “I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s alright, Xavi,” Jayda says, her fingers intertwining with my husband’s. “I’m sure Raina is happy to see me.”

I didn’t know I was being insensitive for asking my sister why she disappeared for six years with no explanation or goodbye message, but apparently my husband thinks so.

Sometimes Xavier gets cranky after long trips, so I swallow my words down my heated throat and walk to the only empty chair on the other side of the table, beside Mum and Dad.

We have a quiet dinner in which only plates and cutlery clank. The only conversations made during dinner are about Jayda’s reappearance. Of course, I am happy my sister is back in the SilverMoon pack, but I am also very uncomfortable. Jayda and Xavier have been childhood best friends, and watching them sit side by side, holding hands and smiling at each other makes my insides burn.

Xavier doesn’t even look at me once—not even when I sneeze from the cold or when I choke on my food. His eyes are all over Jayda.

At last, my father, who has been strangely quiet throughout the dinner, speaks.

“Raina!”

“Yes, Father,” I answer, adjusting in my chair.

“I guess you’re wondering why we’re all here.” He looks up at me with those wrinkled, wise eyes, and I can tell something is up. Father never comes to social gatherings unless it is a necessity.

I nod, forcing a smile, although my fingers fidget underneath the table.

“Well, your sister is back,” Dad says, pointing toward Jayda. “And… some things have to change.”

I try hard not to overthink or panic, but my sixth sense warns me that something is off.

Xavier’s parents have refused to meet my gaze throughout the meal, and my brothers’ eyes have been carefully counting the ceiling.

“Something like what?” I ask.

The room falls silent as Dad hesitates. He looks at Mum and nudges her arm to speak up, but she shakes her head.

Xavier clears his throat, drawing everyone’s attention. “Something like our marriage, Raina.”

My heart stops for a second. The air in the room thins, and time pauses. My wolf whimpers inside me, anticipating the worst.

“I don’t understand. What about our marriage?”

Xavier exhales, then reaches into his jacket pocket for a brown envelope. He tosses it to me, and reluctantly, I pick it up.

“What is this?” I ask, looking inside the envelope to see a folded letter.

“It’s a marriage annulment letter from my family to yours.”

My ears ring, and every voice and sound becomes distant. I’ve heard of heartbreak and how it affects one’s wolf, but I never knew it could shatter one’s heart physically. My heart throbs violently in my chest, and I begin to pant from the tremors.

“Is she having a cardiac arrest?” Jayda panics, rushing toward me.

Xavier grabs her arm to stop her. “Don’t bother. She’ll be fine.”

I am this close to having a cardiac arrest, but luckily, my wolf stabilizes my heartbeat despite her struggling with the sudden bond ripping.

Mother is shedding tears beside me, but I doubt she truly cares. Right from birth, Jayda has always been the adorable twin everyone loves, while I am the crying, troublesome child; always seeking attention and never getting it.

I shake my head at her fake, dramatic tears and return my gaze to my husband.

“I don’t understand. Haven’t I been a good wife to you? Haven’t I served you and your pack in the best ways possible? Haven’t I…?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Xavier cuts. “The marriage was arranged to be between the Alpha’s heir and the Wilson family’s first daughter.”

Father quickly adds, “Jayda came out before you, Raina. When Jayda disappeared, you instantly became the next in line.”

I shut my eyes and cup my face with my palms, trying to breathe and not suffocate. None of this makes any sense to me.

“So am I supposed to just go away?” I sob, tears rolling down my face. “Am I supposed to just agree that the last three years of my life were a mistake? My husband? My home?”

“I’m so sorry,” Xavier’s parents say.

Xavier’s eyes lower to the floor to avoid mine.

“Xavier!” I cry out as my entire body trembles. “You can’t let this happen. You’re the Alpha. You have the final say.”

He looks up and catches my gaze for a second before turning to stare at my sister beside him.

“Please,” I whisper shamelessly. “Please.”

The silence that follows feels like I am on trial, waiting for a judge to sentence me to death.

“Jayda deserves her true mate. I’m sorry, Raina.”

“But—”

“It’s over.”