Drowning In My Own Thoughts นิยาย & เรื่องราว

The events themselves need not be spoken of; and the events that occurred that time are the focal point. I had become severely depressed, lost, and drowned. I could have cared less about what anyone thought of me or what would happen to me. I became very vigilant about how people would look at me, that’s why. My dreams suffered and were hold for a moment… My career were very vague and unseen… Which only led me to run away from it, to run away and hide…then be drown, hate and loathe him to death. My reputations have been a total damaged. Many people hated me for who I am, hated me for some unreasonable reasons, and judged me enough like they know me and what happened.

Tumaas na ang tubig at umabot na ito sa leeg ko. "Pakawalan mo ko!"sigaw ko habang nagpupumiglas upang makawala sa lubid na nakatali saakin. "I'm sorry Darling"natatawa pa nitong saad saka umalis. Naramdaman ko na lamang ang mainit na likido na tumulo mula sa mga mata ko.tumingala ako at nakita ang mga bituin na kumikislapkislap sa langit saka huminga ng malalim hanggang sa lumampas na sa ulo ko ang tubig.Kung ito na nga talaga ang kamatayan ko,Tatanggapin ko.Sapat na yung naranasan ko dito,ayoko nang magtagal pa dito.Pumikit ako at hinayaang na lamang na malunod ang sarili sa ilalim ng tubig.Muli akong dumilat at nagpumiglas nang biglang sumagi sa isip ko si Zack.Hindi ko alam,di ko maintin

"The man who seeks revenge digs two graves." -Ken Kessey Have you ever felt a numbness in your heart that makes you want to just stop everything? Do you feel alive but feel like you're not breathing at all? Is it as if your body is an empty vessel drifting aimlessly? That your head is under the water, submerged in sadness, while your soul has been wounded innumerable times by the world's poisonous needle? And you just want to sleep until everything is already alright and everyone has forgotten or moved on from what happened.

Habol ni daddy, pero hindi na ako lumingon at deretsong umakyat. Nang makapasok sa kwarto ay roon ko binuhos ang mga luha ko. Humawak ako sa dibdib ko at napapa–upong sumandal sa pintuan ng kwarto ko. It hurts so much, it’s like my chest is being ripped apart, like a knife twisting deeper with every breath I take. The pain is suffocating, drowning me in an endless wave of anguish. Every heartbeat feels like a reminder of how shattered I am inside, and no matter what I do, I can’t escape it.

Paano niya nagawa sa akin ‘to? Anger gives me the courage to drown myself in alcohol. Hindi ko na rin alam ang ginagawa ko basta ang alam ko ay gusto kong basagin lahat ng nakikita kong vases, mga plato, mga baso. My father and Vannezza are trying to stop me but I cannot stop, I can’t calm down. I just can’t! Naiinis ako sa sarili ko dahil wala akong nagawa at hinayaan kong iwanan ako nang ganun-ganun lang. “Zachne, stop it!”

His intentions may be sincere, but his sincerity is not the key to healing my old self. Mistakes are mistakes... And I'm afraid that it will continue to cycle through my life. He did it without hesitation, and he can do it again. "Fayra?! Open the door!" Mabilis akong napadilat kasabay nang paghingal kong umahon sa tubig. Kinapa ko ang sarili ko't nanginginig ang kamay na humawak sa pasimano ng bathtub. Did I just drown myself without noticing it?

I decided to jump and just drown to death, it'll be better than watching them stab me behind my back. Huminga ako nang malalim at ipinikit ang aking mga mata. Dahan-dahan kong inihakbang ang aking mga paa hanggang sa naramdaman ko nalang ang pagyakap ng tubig sa aking katawan. Few seconds after my fall, I was struggling to breathe, but I didn't care. Alam kong lumangoy pero anong silbi no’n kapag gusto ko na talaga?

Azithere's Point of View I have chosen to sink even though I can't swim. I have chosen to drown myself even though I don't want my life to be over. But I did not choose to be imprisoned in a pond alone in a solitary world. Should I escape right now? I can't even reach the surface. Should I really let myself into this mess? My wife. Where the hell are you? Pinagsusuntok,pinagsasampal at pinagbubuhusan ko ng malamig na tubig ang mga walanghiya kong tauhan.

Binalewala ko ang pagsuway ni Avi sa'kin at agad na tinutungga ang bawat shot na natatanggap ko. I have this annoying habit of torturing myself with my own thoughts. I can't stop myself from overthinking. Hindi ko titigilang isipin ang isang bagay hanggang hindi ito nagiging malinaw sa'kin. Hanggang hindi ko nakukuha ang sagot sa aking mga katanungan, patuloy kong iisipin ito.

Ganon ang nararamdaman ko. I was staring blankly at the pool area. Pwede bang lunurin ko na lang ang sarili ko? If I drown, I know hindi na ako sisikatan pa ng araw. Kung sarili ko lang ang iniisip ko ay matagal ko na dapat na kinitil ang buhay ko pero hindi. I still have Maxine. My source of strength.