Drowning In My Own Thoughts の小説・ストーリー

I even saw a worker putting a robe in the chair, hindi ko yon pinansin walang pasabi kong hinubad ang dress na suot at tumalon sa dagat. Narinig ko pa ang pag tawag sakin ng babae pero huli na ang lahat. I want this, I want the waves to blow away all these negative feelings, the pain, and the sadness. I shouldn't feeling this, I hate my self for being affected to his words, to his presence because I'll keep wondering what if there's no Jace, what if I'm the first, what if he loved me back? Though he tried but still it's not enough. What if all those what if's happens, maybe I'm not acting like this, siguro hindi ako nahirapan sa loob ng dalawang taon, siguro masaya ako ngayon, walang problem

sabi ni Diabolos sa sarili niya habang inaayos niya ang kontrata niya. Drowned in the Sea of Flames was about a man who dominated the league in swimming international tournaments but accidentally drowned his opponent while practicing in the pool late at night before the tournament begins because it frightened him he would easily overthrow him. After killing an innocent person, the man was so terrified that he fled the crime scene immediately.

The night stretches endlessly, no direction, no peace, just me and the sound of my thoughts. So I lay on the cold floor, hugging myself tightly. Ramdam ko 'yung lamig na parang kumakain ng natitirang init sa katawan ko. Everything feels dry — my hands, my heart, even my will to wake up tomorrow. Kasi wala na... wala nang natirang tao sa mundo ko. No one to believe in me, no one to care. Just silence pretending to be peace.

Hindi na natigil ang pagtulo ng luha ko hanggang sa mapagtanto na humihikbi na ako. It's not very easy to get out of this self-killing and loathing mindset lalo na may mga pinagdaraanan ka. I kept everything to myself, kasi alam kong iyon ang mas nararapat. Hindi ako maka-usad-usad sa gusto kong gawin sa buhay lalo na sa sarili ko. It's a curse to feel everything so very deeply that it also hurts more. I'm having emotional issues. I'm miserable, too broken to handle. And I wish I was good enough. I look okay outside, but inside, I am struggling. I'm having a hard time coping up with this fucked up life up until this moment. I'm too much.

Nice thing he said thank you, he looks so grumpy. Matapos kong kumain ay umakyat na ako sa kwarto ko nang walang sinasabi sa lalaki. Pabagsak akong humiga sa kama. Start to drown in my own thoughts again. Ganito naman lagi tuwing gabi, bago ako matulog. I always overthink things. Ask myself WHs questions ‘till I fall asleep. Pero ngayon, iba ang bumabagabag sa’kin. It’s the package. And I know it’s just in the other room.

A vortex that is so dark, no light could ever passed through it. I can't breath. Pain slices my ribs, I'm drowing with mud and filth. Sinubukan kong lumangoy, inapuhap ng mga kamay ko ang dulo kung saan alam kong may isang tabla ang naroon. I gasped and swim with all my might. Balot ng kadiliman ang paligid pero hindi ako nagpatinag o huminto. Nang makapa ko ang isang patag na bato, nahahapong iniangat ko ang sarili.

I was overpowered by the negativity that time that I just realized now kung ano ang nasa isip ko nang mga oras na tumakbo ako palayo. I was actually thinking of running away from the dilemma that shook me, hoping that it wouldn't hunt me if I go as far as I can. And if ever it hunts me, I was thinking of actually ending my life and during that night, it was in my mind na kapag nagpakamatay ako ay hindi na ako masusundan ng katotohanang may leukemia ako.

Hindi ako iyong lalaking gumagawa ng pilit na bagay para lang mapatunayan na wala siyang pakialam. Pero habang naglalakad ako palabas ng Bachelor’s Hub, unti-unti kong nare-realize ang isang bagay— No matter how hard I tried to drown myself in distractions… ako mismo ang ayaw makalimot kay Mich.