Shamed Novels & Stories

The air between us crackled with unspoken words and shared memories, a silent acknowledgment of the journey we had both undertaken to arrive at this moment of closure and acceptance. "Heather, I'm so sorry. Hindi ko gusto ang nangyari sa iyo. Nadala lamang ako ng emosyon at ng takot ko. Takot na takot ako noon, alam ko, mahal na mahal ka ni Anthony, natatakot ako na maagaw mo sa amin ang ama ng anak ko. I'm really really sorry" ani ni Sharmaine sa akin nang maiserve ko sa kanila ang pagkain nila.

Puro katanungan pa rin ang nasa utak ko. Nasa likod na bahagi ako ng elevator at may limang tao pa sa harap ko. Hindi ako mapakali. Lahat sila ay pasimpleng sumusulyap sa akin. Nagtataka ay bahagya ko ring tiningnan ang repleksyon ko. Sa sobrang pagmamadali ay hindi ko na pala inalala ang hitsura mo. Messy hair na halatang-halatang bagong gising, kalat na makeup sa mukha at nabuburang lipstick sa labi, samahan pa ng hindi nabutones sa may dibdib ng knitted fitted dress ko. What the---Luwang-luwa ang cleavage ko! Napayuko ako at pasimpleng inayos ang damit ko. I felt so ashamed.

Wala naman kami ginawang masama. "Hon, you know what I mean. Gagamitin ka lang niya upang makalimot sa kanyang nakaraan." Sambit ni Xenon. "Ashame of you." Inis na asik ni Shara sa kasintahan. Ngumiwi ako. "Hey! Huh, wala naman kami ginagawang masama. Ewan ko diyan sa imahinasyon niyo! Never kong magugustuhan ang antipatikong lalaking yon!" I pouted.

Someone wants to talk to you, too. Mariin kong kinagat ang aking labi. Parang bumahag ang aking buntot sa nabasa. Hindi ko alam kung makakaya ko pa bang harapin sila matapos ng nangyari kagabi. I feel so ashamed about last night. Parang gusto ko na lang h'wag nang lumabas at manatili na lang dito sa loob ng suite na ito. To Josia:

And I have to understand all of that even if it wasn't acceptable at all. "Fuck situation!" I shout, wiping the tears that rolled down my cheeks. I went to the bathroom and start undressing. Red marks are still visible all over my body, and I'm still feeling sore. I'm not feeling sorry that I lost my virginity to Matt, but I can't help to feel ashamed for accepting his downpayment after we had sex! Ano ako? Si Magdalena?! I'm not a fucking prostitute, pero kumembot ako sa gitna ng intablado, at sa harap ng maraming tao na kakapirasong tela lang ang suot ko. And worst, I shamelessly auction myself for the sake of damn money! But still not enough...not enough to

“Don’t show up uninvited again. Especially not in front of my wife.” Hindi ko na siya nilingon pa. Naninikip na rin 'yung dibdib ko at hindi na rin pantay ang paghinga nang makarating sa sasakyan. I could hear the weight of each step when I walked. The air tasted of rotten shít and the bitter shame of failing Ingrid again.

She feels sorry for her. "Gail, sorry. Sorry kung nasasaktan ka. I'm really sorry. I-I don't know how to ease the pain. I-I'm sorry." Tipid siyang ngumiti. Unti unting tumulo ang mga luha sa mata nito. Nakagat niya ang labi. She feels guilty as hell!

Oo maliligo ako! Kaagad akong naghubad at naligo. Kinuskos ko lahat at sinabon ang bawat sulok ng aking katawan. Dahil naiisip ko ang mga halik ni Greg. Naiisip ko ang bawat mararahas na haplos niya sa katawan ko. Nahihiya ako. Walang natira sa puri ko. Pride na lang ang mayroon ako. Paano kung kinukunan pala ako ni Greg ng video? Paano kung ipakalat niya iyon?

mapanuya niyang tugon. I rolled my eyes. "Fine! He was so hot and handsome kaya hindi ko napigilan ang sarili ko." Napahilamos ako sa aking mukha. "Every time I remember what happened that night, I felt so ashamed of myself. Kaya kapag malapit siya sa akin o nahahawakan ako, nakakaramdam ako ng kakaiba like takot ganyan or awkwardness because he's too much to handle! I mean do you get me, Callie? And you know what? Noong nasa Switzerland kami he was so different! Sobrang nakakainis siya ngayon. He would always teased me and make fun of me." Reklamo ko sa kaibigan. "Like what kind of nakakainis?"

I slammed it shut behind me, the heavy thud a final, echoing declaration of my victory. The moment the lock clicked, the facade crumbled. My legs gave out, and I slid down the door, a choked sob tearing from my throat. The tears came then, a flood of hot, angry relief. I buried my face in my knees, shaking uncontrollably as the humiliation came rushing back. The shame I’d carried, the accusations from my own family—it all rose to the surface. They had tried to break me once, wanted to see me shattered by a lie. They thought I was still that lost child, blaming myself, searching for a hand to hold. They were wrong.