Unrequited Feelings นิยาย & เรื่องราว

Hindi niya napigilang magtanong: "Kaya ba talagang itago ng isang tao ang nararamdaman niya nang ganoon katagal? Ilang taon silang magkasama sa bahay—paanong hindi iyon napansin ni Melena? Tingin ko, ang unrequited love ay nangyayari lang dahil hindi sapat ang pakialam ng kabilang tao. Nakikita nila ito, pero hinahayaan lang nila dahil wala silang balak pansinin."

“Mas masaya kung mahal ka rin ng taong mahal mo. Mas masarap gumising sa umaga na katabi mo ang taong mahal ka rin, at mas magaan sa dibdib na salubungin ang bawat araw kasama ang taong mahal ka. Mas magandang gumawa ng plano para sa kinabukasan kasama ang taong gusto ring kasama ka hanggang sa huli. This is how I feel with Jack. And this is what I want you to feel with Cayson, Rome. Love is a two-way traffic, not just one.” Mapait siyang ngumiti. Gusto niyang umiyak sa mga salitang binitiwan ng kapatid, pero ayaw niyang abutan siya nina Baron at Selena na luhaan ang mga mata kaya nagpigil siya. “Unrequited love really sucks, huh?” she said, her voice shivering from trying not to cry. Pait n

paalam ko at binabaan na siya ng tawag. Nanghihina akong sumandal sa hamba ng hagdan. Sana pala ay hindi ko na lang sinabi sa kanya ‘yon lalo na’t hindi naman talaga totoo. I’m aware na may feelings siya para sa akin, pero palagi kong pinapamukha sa kanya na hindi ko masusuklian ‘yon. But why do I feel that I did the right thing to end this unrequited love?

Tim pressed, trying to keep the conversation flowing naturally. "Not that sure, but maybe make them happy? I heard as well that if you love someone, you want to be with them even at their lowest, comforting them. As long as you love them, it's fine even if it's unrequited. If you saw that they're happy with other people, you're willing to be in pain and sacrifice your own happiness... but how's that even related to... oh!"

I am at the page of the book of my life whereas there is a lot of unexpected things that can surprise me but, falling for the unexpected someone in the unexpected time and unexpected world is probably the best unexpected thing ever. I knew very well that this caged feeling will burst out any time soon. I am unsure about it but I want to clarify all of it with her. Susugal na ako nang malala kahit pa hindi ko alam kung pareho kami ng nararamdaman. Hindi ba ganito naman talaga ang pag-ibig? Matatapang lamang na sumugal ang pwedeng makatagal. Is it even love if you're not feeling any fear and uneasiness?

Ngunit ang totoo ay matagal na akong may gusto kay Mara. She was my puppy love, my crush, my infatuation and my first love. Jana was my girlfriend pero hindi rin kami tumagal ng isang buwan dahil nga ayokong lokohin namin ang sarili naming dalawa. Dahil pareho naming alam na hindi namin mahal ang isa't isa. Jana was inlove with someone else. But it was just an unrequited love. Just like my one-sided love with Mara. Hindi naming inabala na ipaalam pa ang paghihiwalay namin sa mga tao dahil gusto naming makita ang magiging reaksyon nina Mara at Alex.

Ma’am Lony silently listened to me, ina-absorba niya lahat ng aking sinasabi at nag-isip ng malalim na tila ba napaka-kumplikado ng problemang kaniyang narinig. “So you are confused about what feeling you should feel?” tanong nito. I nodded. Maybe it was that. I was feeling the anger and resentment towards him that maybe I did not want him to forget. Napakasakit lamang isipin na aang dahilaan ng ilang taon kong paghihirap ay hindi man lang ako naaalala. “Do you feel something for him?” muling tanong ni ma’am Lony. “Yes, resentment, anger---

Hindi ko alam kung nagpapatawa ba siya o nanggagago na naman para utuhin ako. I know it's not right to judge a person pero iba kasi pagdating sa kanya. I should be happy right now hearing him say those 3 words and 8 letters to me pero hindi. Sino ba naman ang hindi matutuwa kapag narinig mo mismo sa taong mahal mo na mahal ka rin niya? That your love for that person isn't unrequited after all? Every woman deserve to be love, not to be hurt. Halos buwan-buwan na ngang nasasaktan, tapos dudurugin pa ang puso. Hindi dapat gano'n.

I keep myself awake, hoping that she will come back home and she'll say that she's just joking when she said that she don't want to marry me again. Sobra akong nasaktan dahil sa nalaman na walang bisa ang kasal namin pero mas masakit pala yung wala na syang balak magpakasal ulit saakin. I'm such a jerk, maybe I really deserve this. Maybe Florence is right to decide that she doesn't want to marry me again dahil maraming beses ko na syang nasaktan noon. Siguro ito na ang karma ko.

Ako lang ang nag-develop ng feelings na hindi dapat. Natuloy ang araw, pero parang nasa malayo ang utak ko. Nakisabay ako sa tawa nila, sumagot kapag may tinanong, pero parang may usok sa ulo ko. Hindi rejection ang masakit. Kaya ko tanggapin yun. Ang hindi ko nakayanan ay kung paano niya sinabi, casual, walang pag-iingat, walang respeto, parang kailangan ipamukha na hindi ako someone na worth taking seriously.