Romans & histoires When I Close My Eyes

Ang dali lang na iwan ako. Pagod na rin akong maghabol. Pagod na rin akong patunayan ang sarili ko. I’m tired of pleading. I’m tired with all this s**t! I closed my eyes. I can see Ria’s image fading away. Is this goodbye? Maybe… But if this is goodbye, I can’t do anything. I drifted to sleep but my heart is still crying.

I can hear their growl and the sound of the crickets echoing. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin, para bang naging paralisado ang buong katawan ko na walang ginawa kundi ang manginig at maglabas ng luha sa mga mata. Gusto kong sumigaw para humingi ng tulong, pero walang boses na lumalabas mula sa bibig ko. I close my eyes as I wait for the brutal death to come at me.

We need to protect the grains so they have something to eat, bahala nang wala kaming makain kaysa sapilitang patayin. That's why, one time, I closed my eyes to see if there is a light of hope but... I saw something. Something that can tell that I am unique, that I can go with the flow...let them flow, let them glow. Let the letters let me. "So what happens when you close your eyes, Synecdoche?" curious na tanong ng isang lalaki sa akin. Ang mga bughaw niyang mga mata ay nakatutok sa akin. Ang kanang kamay ay nakahawak sa ilalim ng kaniyang bibig samantalang ang kaliwang kamay ay nakapatong sa lamesa and its fingers are tapping on it like the sound of a clock. I will not be shocked if I can s

Nakaamoy ako ng pabango na siyang dahilan para makara mdam ako ng panghihina at antok. What is that? “No...” I slowly close my eyes until I lost my consciousness.

Sunod-sunod akong huminga nang malalim, marahang nakapikit ang mga mata at magaan na ang pakiramdam. "Let's close our eyes for a bit, Jacob..." TO BE CONTINUED....

Bahagya siyang huminto para ipikit ang mata, at sa muling pagmulat ng mga ito hinanap nito ang aking paningin. Suddenly, his features shifted from anger to hesitation, his brow furrowing as he seemed to be lost in thought. He then closed his eyes again tightly and rested his head on the sofa. The silence in the room was thick, and I could feel the tension in the air. I wondered what was going through his mind, what demons were haunting him, causing him to shift between emotions so quickly. I waited for him to speak, to break the silence, but he remained still, lost in his own world.

Hindi iyon dapat binibigyan ng kahulugan. Hindi iyon dapat iniisip nang paulit-ulit. Mariin niyang isinara ang mga mata niya. Parang gusto niyang burahin sa isip niya ang bawat detalye ng nangyari kagabi. Pagkatapos ng ilang segundo, dahan-dahan niyang ibinuka ulit ang mga mata niya. Pagmulat niya, wala na ang anumang pagkalito o init sa loob ng mga mata niya.

My chest heaving, I lean against the door of my room, trying to calm myself down. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ko sila nakita the moment I closed my eyes a while ago. Zachary and I were... hugging. And I felt peaceful... so, I don’t know why their dead bodies had to show up when I closed my eyes. Is it a reminder? Was I already being trapped under Zachary’s hands that my parents are reminding me of what happened to them and who caused it? That must be it, right?

Still with my right hand clutching the part where my heart is, I closed my eyes as my tears continued to slid down my cheeks. Bakit ko ba ito nararamdaman? Ano ba ang nakita ko? Bakit ba ako sobrang apektado? Is this what they... No! This is wrong! Still with my eyes closed, I took a deep breath. And another. And another. Until I finally calmed myself down. It took me a few minutes before I opened my eyes and slowly stood up. And as soon as I already settled on my feet, someone knocked. And even without seeing who it was, I already knew.