Drowning In My Own Thoughts นิยาย & เรื่องราว

Ayoko ring maging komplekado ang lahat, that's the least that i can do for the both of them. Hindi ko na namalayan na nakailang bote na pala ako ng beer. I drowned myself to that liquor as i choose to hang out by myself. Nang mga oras na iyon, hindi ko na alam ang mga sumunod na sandali...dahil nawalan na ako ng malay. Kinabukasan, namulat ako sa apat na sulok ng kwartong iyon. I am shocked as i raised myself. "Where the fuck i am?" sambit ko saka muling tumingin sa kabuuan ng kwarto.

Sakto dahil wala ako sa mood. Pinagmasdan ko ang paligid habang pinapakinggan ang maingay na utak ko. How come I have a lot of thoughts in my head but I can’t speak them out? What’s the use of those deep and dark thoughts then? I feel like I need to write those things but I suck at words. The clouds are already orange mixed with yellow and pink colors. Those colors look so bright but I can’t enjoy them. Again, I began blaming the past.

I wasn’t going to spend another day torturing myself with thoughts I couldn’t even confirm. Bumaba na ako ng kama at nagtungo sa banyo. I took a long shower, hoping the warm water would somehow wash away the heaviness in my chest. But it didn’t. Pagkatapos kong magbihis ay bumaba ako upang mag-almusal. The house felt unusually quiet today, or maybe it only felt that way because my thoughts were so loud. I sighed and forced myself to stand. I should stop thinking about Pierre, or the necktie, or the woman from the boutique.

At matagal nang nawawala ang kanyang ngiti. Bumuntong-hininga siya nang malalim. Pagkatapos ay yumuko upang hilamusan ang kanyang mukha gamit ang malamig na tubig. Sinusubukan niyang burahin ang bakas ng pag-iyak. Kasabay nito ang desperadong pagtatangkang pakalmahin ang pusong tila tuluyan nang nabasag. “He was the one who told me to do this with feelings, but why is he—!”

Hindi umaabot sa dalawa o tatlo, at mas lalong hindi sabay-sabay kung iisipin ko mam. Tonight and right now, it felt as if it is a spreading wildfire, completely leaving my mind so full of thoughts I didn't know I could possibly house within my brain. It's like an endless web of turns without breaks. Tuloy-tuloy na kumakalat, lumalago.

There I see here, she looks happy but I can't touch her. "Babe please come back" at inaabot ko siya pero hindi niya ako marinig.Hanggang sa unti-unti itong naglaho. I wake up from that dream again. I got up and go to the kitchen and I drown myself with liquor.

I can barely see in the darkness, the light is so dim my heart beats faster. In movies, drowning is loud and splashy; someone cries and waves their arms, then dives beneath the waves and emerges in a dramatic manner, while those on the shore race to save them. But I drown in silent; there's no one to save me. My movements are delicate, and they produce very little noise—just how we keep our problems sometimes.

Electricity is zapping out of his body as well as on his face. Mabilis siyang napasinghap nang mabilis na tumama kay Mino ang kidlat mula sa itaas at sinundan ng hindi mabilang na kidlat na deretsong tumatama sa kaniya na siyang kumakalat sa ilog. He is always like this, whenever he is drowning with his heavy thoughts. He tend to exhaust his body too much para mawala lahat ng kaniyang iniisip.

I’m over my head, and there’s no way out It’s like I’m underwater trying not to drown The harder I fight, the deeper I fall What I was so afraid to risk it all I wish that I could hear But I can’t remember how But time can’t save me now I’m underwater My eyes accidentally drifted on Drei’s direction, who's still staring at me. It feels like I am underwater, the harder I fight to stop but the deeper I fall, for him and I am drowning. I wanted to stop, because it wasn't right anymore. I need to leave him, we can't be together, I want to take risk, but----It doesn't need at all, I also want him free from me.

Biglang may nagwisik ng tubig sa kaniya. “You’re drowning in your thoughts,” sabi ni Five na nagpapalutang sa pool. Napadpad kasi siya sa likod ng bahay at nakitang nagpa-practice si Five mag-isa. Napansin siya nito at pinahawak sa kaniya ang stopwatch. Pero hindi niya napansin na nakarating at nakabalik na pala ito sa magkabilang dulo ng pool at hindi niya nakuha ang time.