Naskah Stand Up Comedy Terlucu

เมื่อแฟนหนุ่มที่คบกันมานาน หนีไปแต่งงานกับผู้หญิงที่คบซ้อน เพราะความเมาเมริสาจึงอยากมี One night stand กับใครสักคน “จูบฉันสิคะ คุณจะได้รู้ว่าฉันไม่ใช่ภูเขาน้ำแข็ง ฉันก็มีหัวใจ” พูดจบร่างบางก็เขย่งปลายเท้าขึ้น พยายามประกบริมฝีปากลงบนปากหนา เกื้อเบี่ยงหลบพร้อมกับดันเธอออกห่าง เมื่อเริ่มคุมตัวเองไม่อยู่เช่นกัน เขาก็แค่ผู้ชายคนหนึ่งที่มีเลือดเนื้อ สาวสวยมาอ่อยตรงหน้ามีหรือที่เขาจะไม่มีอารมณ์ “จูบสิคะจูบฉัน” ปากบางเผยออย่างรอคอย เธอก็อยากรู้เหมือนกันว่าจูบมันเป็นยังไง ยิ่งเป็นจูบที่ได้จากคนแปลกหน้ายิ่งทำให้เธอรู้สึกดี เพราะตอนนี้เมริสาอยากประชด เมื่อคนทั้งโลกรวมหัวกันรังแกเธอ “อย่าเม คุณไม่อยากทำแบบนี้หรอก” เกื้อเตือนสติแต่เหมือนว่าคนเมาจะไม่ยอมรับฟังอะไร ร่างบางดันเขาไปจนติดบาร์เครื่องดื่ม เขย่งปลายเท้าขึ้น เมื่อต้องการจูบกับเขา เกื้อมองริมฝีปากอิ่มตรงหน้า ก่อนจะกระแทกริมฝีปากลงมาอย่างแรง เมื่อเธออยากรู้เขาก็จะสอนให้ แต่จูบที่เธอจะได้รับมันจะไม่อ่อนหวาน แบบที่เขาเคยมอบให้คนอื่น เธอจะได้หลาบจำ วันหลังจะได้ไม่ไปร้องขอให้ใครมาจูบแบบนี้อีก

"หึ อย่างนายฉันไม่เสียเวลาครางหรอก ครางไปก็ไม่เสียว เพราะของนายมันเท่านิ้วก้อยฉันเอง"

They say dreams are the most wonderful escape from reality. That it only gives peace and gaiety. A place where you can be yourself and do whatever you want. But, what if the dream, which is supposed to hide you away from misery, becomes a nightmare that will haunt you in reality?

On the day I won the national esports championship, my girlfriend of eight years told me she wanted to go on stage and personally present me with flowers. Standing on the podium, my heart was racing. I reached into my pocket to pull out the ring I'd hidden there, ready to propose to her in front of the entire nation. But what happened next shocked me. She giggled and, instead of handing me the bouquet, she gave it to her male best friend. Under the bright lights, they became the center of attention. The crowd cheered, and their congratulatory messages flooded the trending topics. Even his fans tagged me in posts, mocking, [I told you not to get in the way of our couple, now look at you.] I simply posted on Twitter, [Respect and blessings. Please be locked together forever.]

"Is this what you wanted? On your knees, getting fucked by the man you should be calling 'Daddy'?" In the mirror, I'm on all fours. He flips my skirt up, one hand crushing my throat, the other slapping my ass raw as his massive cock slams into me without warning. I'm trembling so hard I can barely hold myself up. But he won't let me fall. "Ass up." He bends me over, his hand a firm pressure on my back. Lorenzo Vitale. The most feared mafia godfather in New York. He never gives an order twice. ** On my birthday, my boyfriend betrayed me for power—fucking Lorenzo's adopted daughter behind my back. They drugged me, sent me into a BDSM club to become Lorenzo's plaything, tried to destroy my reputation. What they didn't know? Twelve years ago, Lorenzo adopted the wrong girl. I'm the real mafia princess. Now he's begging for me back. But I've already fallen for the man I should be calling Daddy. I fantasized about being fucked by him—a forbidden desire I had no right to feel.

Connor came back home drunk one midnight and had his way with one of the maids who they both secretly had feelings for each other. She got pregnant and despite being in a serious relationship with his lover, there was pressure to marry Nancy because of the unborn child as the Martins' do not abandon their flesh and blood. How will the duo who hate each other so much make this work?

Karma led them to each other, it is now up to them if they'll use it to their advantage. Anna Miller had been hurting for years, she didn't know how and why it happened, but it just did. Will destiny heal her or break her more?

Her One Night Stand was hot and enticing. It gave her very intense feelings that she hadn’t felt before. But that was all Nara Aurora could remember of that night. She couldn’t remember anything else. She had no clue who she had sex with or why she had sex with him. But life made things worse by giving her a child. A child whom she couldn’t afford to take care of. She needed to pin the pregnancy on whomever she could. Anyone at all! Anyone who would collect the burden of her child in exchange for cash. A wealthy man in need of a surrogate mother came to her and an idea struck her mind. What if she lied about the surrogacy in exchange for wealth? Well that sounded easier than done until it was time to let her child go. Her strong motherly instincts came into play and she realized she couldn’t let her go. Her child was her life and she was getting too attached. But what could she do? She needed to let her go. She had to let go. She signed a freaking contract!

My husband finally thinks about me three years after my death. The reason? His childhood sweetheart's leukemia has relapsed, and she needs another bone marrow transplant. He comes to my place, wanting to make me sign a donor agreement. However, he finds that the place has long been vacated. He asks a neighbor about it. "Are you talking about Kristen? She's long dead! I heard it was because someone dragged her away for a bone marrow donation when she was already sick. She died a few days after returning home." My husband refuses to believe that. He thinks my neighbor and I have conspired to lie to him. He says impatiently, "If you see her, tell her I won't pay the medical bills for that child she's been raising if she doesn't come to see me in three days." My neighbor shakes her head when she sees how stubborn my husband is. She mutters, "The poor child has already starved to death, though…"

Tess is tired of everything. It's as if the world is screaming at her. Yet, she doesn't give in to depression. Her best friend, Jose suggests a night out and they leave for a new bar around their place. The next series of events turns Tess's life around. She meets a complete stranger, who she bonds with as if they were long-lost friends. One thing leads to another and Tess and the good-looking stranger end up having the best sex of their lives. However, Tess knows everything about him but his name. How does this love story progress? Will Tess give up on her one chance at a real relationship? Or will she do everything she can to find the good-looking stranger?