Old Tagalog Jokes Novels & Stories

Yung lalaking kaya kang ipagtanggol kahit saang gyera. Nang puntahan ay pinakita ni Limuel ang mga huli nitong isda. Ang lalaki at ang tataba. “H-hala! Paano mo nagawa yan?” takang-taka si Tala. “Hindi marunong uminom ang asawa mo pero magaling mangisda at least hindi ka gugutumin niyan,” biro ni Jeff. “Anong akala mo sa akin, taga Maynila? Laking Bohol ako no! Sisiw sa akin ang pagdakma ng isda,” yun lang at may nadakma na naman itong isang malaking isda.

Kunwari ay nag-isip ako ng puwede kong itawag sa kanya. Ilang sandali lang ay nakangiti na naman akong nagsalita. "Uhm, ang pangit naman kung My dear Mother in Law! Mas lalo naman pangit kung My unripe Mother in Law!"Ang hirap naman isipin kung ano ang itatawag ko sa impaktang ito. Kahit si google ay paniguradong hindi ako matutulungan. " Eww! Ang baduy! Parang hilaw lang na durian!" Humagalpak pa ako ng tawa matapos kung sabihin ang mga walang kwentang salita na 'yon.

She hissed, “we need to leave immediately!” “Alright, alright.” I patted her arm. “I’ll just get the eggplants.” I turned and beamed widely at the worried girl. “Have you seen a brinjal this big and shiny?! It’s like—.” “A cock soaked in cum,” someone said. What...? My face feel deadpanned as it swivelled up to voice. An elderly man in Einstein’s age and appearance was bellowing in laughter at his own dirty joke, his round belly shaking uncontrollably.

["Haha, what a joke. If you count my real age in human years, I will be much older than you." ["Says the one in a baby's body."] ["Haha..."] ["Anyway, no one would believe in you. So, I'm the older one here in everyone's eyes."] ["You're an idiot, that's what you are."] ["I miss the days when you couldn't talk at all."] ["So funny. I remember very well that you said that you were anxious about the day I would start talking. You can't go back now."] ["I regret that day."]

sigaw ko “Iba parin talaga ang epekto ng may pa sorpresang halimbawa, tingnan mo nga naman ang daya ng mundo, kung sino pa ang masama siya pa ang mas pinapanigan ng swerte at kapangyarihan Hahahaha” pahalakhak nitong sambit. Nanginginig ang aking mga tuhod, ano pa ang kwenta ng aking buhay kung wala ng silang lahat, una si Ama patapos ang aking kapatid at ngayon si Ina naman?

Ramdam niya ang mainit na hininga nitong tumatama sa kanyang leeg. "Huwag mo nga akong bolahin at bitawan mo na ako dahil baka makita pa tayo ni Ate Toyang. Alam mo namang matandang dalaga 'yon at conservative. Baka sabuyan pa tayo ng isang timbang holy water dahil sa makumundo nating posisyon." "Wala si Ate Toyang dito," paanas na wika nito habang may pinong halik sa kanyang punong tainga.

he asked, pouting while looking at me. "Yes? Why not?" "Your coolness will be gone," he said so I immediately laughed before shaking my head at him. The innocence in his eyes when he said. He looked at me in confusion because of my giggles. "And where did you get that word?" I asked laughingly. He sounds so cute whenever he is speaking Tagalog. "That's what Uncle Tony, my bodyguard, always says when he's talking with someone. Get rid of its coolness/tanggal angas?” I immediately pinched his cheek when he stammered while saying the word. I can't help but smile hearing his Tagalog words.

natatawang sabi ni Nathan. Napabuntong-hininga si Thalia at sa wakas, tumawa na rin. "Ang corny mo, Nathan." "Ayos lang, basta tumawa ka," sagot nito, ngayon ay mas kampante na ang tono. "Teka, gusto mo pa ng isa pang joke? Para lang sure na nawala na ang inis mo." "Sige nga, subukan mo," hamon ni Thalia. Sumeryoso saglit si Nathan, kunwari’y iniisip nang mabuti ang joke niya. "Ano ang sinabi ng isda sa pader?"

Assumera na kung assumera pero hindi talaga ako natatahimik kapag hindi ko nakukuha ang sagot na gusto ko. I saw how his jaw dropped then smiled. "Same Mary" bulong niya kaya napakunot ang noo ko "What?" "I said Holy Mary. It's not what you think. Loko-loko lang si Marc" Sinali pa talaga sa usapan si Mama Mary. Pero napahiya ako ron ah "Ah, abswelto ka na sa joke mo. Quits na tayo" this time siya naman ang napakunot ang noo.

An old man with a long beard said and handed me an apple too. “They’re a coward as ever!!” The other men replied and they laughed crazily while drinking their cup of beer. They keep laughing and some of them tell some jokes too so their laughter doesn’t end. I couldn’t help myself but laugh alongside them while hearing the joke they said. “What do you think the baby cow said when he got lost?” Jean asked. One of the men. “What?” We answered in unison. “Maa!!” He said like a cow and even acted like one too made everyone start laughing crazily. I almost fell on my seat laughing but thankfully I balanced myself properly.