Can't Cry Hard Enough Novels & Stories

"Natatakot ako na baka maging dahilan ako ng pagkabagsak niyo kaya kinikimkim ko na lang 'yong sakit na nararamdaman ko. Pinipili ko na lang ang manahimik. Natatakot din ako na baka kapag patuloy tayong nag-uusap ay mapagsasalitaan kita ng hindi maganda. Natatakot ako, Pa..." Hindi magkamayaw ang pagtulo ng mga luha niya. She's in pain. Parang may kung anong bagay ang tumutusok sa puso niya. Ang hirap. Sobrang hirap. Masyadong mahirap na hindi siya magawang maipagmalaki ng ama niya at hindi niya rin magawang ipagmalaki ito.It hurts so much.

Nanghihina na rin ang tuhod ko pero pinipigilan ko parin na makatayo ng maayos. "Don't fucking cry!" He shouted at me. Para namang nabingi ako dahil sa malakas niya sigaw. I tried myself to not cry but my tears are very stubborn too! I can't stop them! "I said don't cry!" I sobbed nervously "I c-can't stop t-them..." and then my tears fell down again like a tears fountains.

he said softly, “that he still has ways of reaching you. And that terrifies me.” For the first time, his mask cracked. There was no ruthless tycoon in front of her now—just a man worn thin by war on every side. A man who still loved her, but didn’t know how to hold her without losing the only armor he had left. She took a slow breath, trying to steady her heart. “Then let me fight with you. Don’t shut me out.” He stared at her for a long moment, then turned to Kurt and Matthew. “Give us the room.”

Nakakahiya na nga sa harap ni Hendricks na hinihiya niya ako kaya't sobra na kung tutumba pa ako roon. Hindi ko na sila nalingon pa, bitbit niya si Hendricks kaya't halata man na gusto niya akong aluin ay hindi niya nagawa. Okay lang. Hindi naman na ako bata. I can console myself. What she did won't make me cry.

Bakit ko ba iniiyakan ang mga taong wala naman pake sa akin. Tumingala ako para pigilan ang luha pero patuloy itong nagilid sa aking pisngi. Para itong gripo na ayaw paawat sa pagtulo. I'm not a cry baby. I shouldn't be crying. They don't deserve my tears. But the more I stopped it the more it keeps falling.

Pilit ko iyong pinupunasan gamit ang mga kamay pero ‘di kalaunan ay unti-unti akong napagod at hinayaan na lang ang sarili na humagulgol. Stupid, Symphony! You shouldn’t be crying and you must be happy for Red because finally, after years of proving himself that he’s worthy for you, he has found a woman who can love her unconditionally. A woman whom he doesn’t have to prove himself to her family. A woman who’s life is not complicated unlike yours! I should be happy… but why are these tears won’t stop from streaming down my face? Why is my heart breaking like this? Why am I feeling this excruciating pain inside me?

It’s not easy. Pero kahit na gano’n ay alam ko, at ramdam ko na pinipilit niyang labanan ang lahat. He’s trying his best to be strong. Iyon nga lang ay tao lang tayo. At hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon ay malakas tayo. There are times wherein we’ll have episodes at night, we’ll break down and just... do nothing but cry. Kasi sobrang bigat na. Iyong tipong hirap na hirap na tayong dalhin ang lahat.

Napapahikbi ako nang marahan at hinayaan ko ang mga luha ko na umagos upang sa gayon ay gumaan man lang ang mabigat kong nararamdaman sa aking dibdib. Do I really need to cry now? Pinunasan ko ang magkabilang pisngi ko sa pamamagitan ng likod ng aking palad. Kailangan ko bang umiyak nang umiyak parati ng dahil sa kanilang lahat? Should I also let them accuse me again and again, that I'm a dirty and a shitty woman? Magpapakumbaba na lang ba ako lagi sa kanila? God naman, quotang-quota na po talaga ako. Masakit na masakit na po masyado. Mas masakit pa kesa sa mga sakit na napagdaanan ko sa buong buhay ko. God, hanggang kailan ba 'tong paghihirap ko? Tell me because I'm going to give up soon. W

That's all you need. Tumawa ako ng mapait. Ang lakas ng loob kong magsabi ng ganoon pero hindi ko naman nai-aapply sa sarili ko. Darating at darating ang oras na kung saan maghahanap ka ng karamay. And when that time comes and you don't have someone to lean on. All you can do is cry. Cry the pain, cry your anger, cry the loneliness, just cry it all out. "Nagtatapang-tapangan ka lang! Nakita namin kung paano ka umiyak noong iwan ka ng mga magulang mo dito!"

"What if I can't be a mother? What if that's the only thing I can't do no matter how much I try?" Her hands clutched the blanket tighter, knuckles pale, as if she was holding on to the last piece of stability she had left. "Paano kung..." she sobbed harder, her voice shaking violently now, "paano kung hindi ako enough? Paano kung someday he realizes I can't give him what he wants?" The words came out raw, broken, like she had been holding them in her whole life without knowing. Her chest heaved as she struggled to breathe properly.