Contoh Teks Humor

"Five thousand dollars. I will pay you to have sex with me," I said to the handsome stranger. “Ten thousand dollars. I will pay you ten… No, fifteen,” At that moment, I just wanted to get laid. It was the only thing I could think of. “If you are still not fine with it... I will increase the money,” I whispered against his lips… ***** I caught my boyfriend of several years cheating on me with my own cousin. It already sounded bad, but ending up in bed with a hot stranger who turned out to be my ex-boyfriend's dad was even worse. Still, I'm not a woman who wallows in self-pity. I was going to use this to my advantage. I was planning to find my way into the handsome billionaire's life in order to get revenge on his cheating son, but the man beat me at my own game. Unexpectedly, he approached me first, asking me to marry him, upon our second meeting! The look in his eyes, his voice, everything about him screamed suspicious, but did his motivations matter? For now, not really. I was determined to make my ex-boyfriend pay for wasting my time all these years. I was going to make my cousin crawl at my feet and beg for my forgiveness...

Sara Jane wants nothing more than to get away from her ex husband —Jason, after his treacherous break up and betrayal. She takes her boss's offer on a vacation and spends the next few months buried in work. But things begins to change as her boss announces that a new client would be expecting Sara's marketing expertise for almost a million dollars. Sara is ecstatic of the good news and decides to accept her new reality away from Jason. Until... She bumps into the stranger at the pool. What happens when you bump into your next big client in the most weirdest way possible? He is mean. He is cold. He is ruthless. He is the cold elder brother of her ex husband. Sara Jane might have wished a world away from Jason, but fate had decided to plunge her right at the center of that world. An age long siblings rivalry, a cold boss, a selfish ex husband. Sara is forced into a family drama and the worse person she has on her side is her cold ruthless client , Alex Ford. He is dangerous. He is unforgiving. He is the mean ruthless heir that owns more than half of the family's empire. But when it comes to Sara, he takes actions that leaves everyone scratching their heads. Sara swore that she would never like him, she would never get close to him... But when push comes to shove. She sees herself doing questionable things. __________________________ Author's Warning The story is rated eighteen and features explicit scenes such as nudity, morally complex character, sex, curse words, vulgar words, violence, stalking, cyber bullying and obsession. Readers discretion is advised.

Celeste Montgomery once had everything—wealth, status, and beauty but after her family’s downfall, she’s now struggling to make ends meet as a waitress in a high-end restaurant. When she runs into her old friends, they taunt her about Leo Kingsley—the one man she once won over, only to break his heart and is now above her league. Desperate to save face, Celeste lies, claiming that Leo still wants her back. When the video of her boasting goes viral, the internet has a field day. To her shock, Leo, now a powerful billionaire, publicly plays along, calling her the love of his life. But the Leo she knew is no more—he’s ruthless, cold and most importantly a formidable force , a man she could never have. Caught in a whirlwind of media attention and forced to fake date Leo to appease his dying grandmother, Celeste finds herself navigating a world of luxury and hidden emotions. The chemistry between them still burns, but can she survive the lies she told and the heart she once broke?

ang kasalan kung saan pinagtagpo ang landas ng isa't isa. kasal ma kala'y peke lang, pawang gawa-gawa lang—iba pala ang inaakala. ang kasal na akala'y pagpapanggap lang, humantong sa katotohanang aksyon na akala'y acting lang. ang totoo ay...may nangyayari ibigan sa pagitan nilang dalawa na dahilan ng pagbunyag ng ibat-ibang sekreto.

Life in the Blake family was a nightmare for Crystal. Despite being married to Christian Blake, the powerful CEO, for three years, she couldn’t conceive, becoming the target of endless scorn and humiliation. When she finally found out about Christian's affair with his mistress, Ilda, the woman he’d chosen over her, her heart shattered. But just when she thought things couldn’t get worse, she found herself carrying Christian’s child in secret. However, as Christian prepares to marry Ilda, a shocking truth emerges— the child she was carrying was not his. What will happen when Christian realizes the woman he betrayed and cast aside had his heir all along? Will he regret his choices, or has he already lost everything, including Crystal’s love

May lihim na pagtingin si Arianne sa best friend ng daddy Henry niya na si Josh kaya nang malaman niya na iiwan muna siya dito ng tatlong linggo ay walang pag-aalinlangan na pumayag siya kaagad para makasama ito. Aware naman siya na may girlfriend ito ngunit ang makasama lang niya ito ay masaya na siya. Kasama ni Josh na nakatira sa bahay niya ang girlfriend na si Lira. Maayos naman ang pakiktungo nito sa kanya. She's working as a fashion designer. Palagi itong wala kaya madalas na silang dalawa lang ng best friend ng dad niya ang magkasama. Isang gabi ay umuwi na nakainom ng alak si Josh. Nagkamali ito ng kuwarto na pinasukan. Imbis na sa kuwarto nilang dalawa ng girlfriend niya ay sa kuwarto kung nasaan si Arianne ito nakapasok. Akala niya ay ang girlfriend niya ang nakahiga doon ngunit hindi pala. Nakainom rin si Arianne dahil dumalo ito sa birthday party ng isa niyang kaibigan kaya humiga kaagad ito pagkapasok sa kuwarto kung saan siya natutulog habang nandoon sa bahay ni Josh. Bigla na lang niya naimulat ang kanyang mga mata dahil naramdaman niya na may malaki at matipunong katawan na pumatong sa ibabaw niya. Hubo't hubad ito. Her eyes got bigger when she saw who it was—Josh. Itutulak sana niya ito ngunit malakas ito kaya wala siyang nagawa. Nagustuhan naman nga niya ang ginagawa nito sa kanya hanggang sa may nangyari sa kanilang dalawa. Parehas silang dalawa nabigla kinabukasan sa nangyari. They found themselves naked lying on the bed. Ano ang gagawin nila? Paalisin kaya siya ni Josh sa bahay nito dahil sa nangyaring 'yon o hindi? Paano na ang girlfriend niya? Will it be the end of their relationship and the beginning of his fantasies with Arianne the woman he desires for so long?

“You don't love me. You are just in love with my body and the thought that I am a spitting image of the woman you truly love and are obsessed with. Alam mo kung anong pinakamasakit? That woman is my mother, Damien. My rival is my mother, whom I will never be able to surpass or even match. It was so painful, Damien—a pain that was hard for my heart to handle and that pierced my soul.” She is 19. He is 35. Saan hahantong ang isang pagmamahal na simula pa lamang ay puno na ng mga pagdududa kasinungalingan? Maghahari ba ang pagmamahal sa puot? O hahayaan na lang wasakin ng nakaraan ang pusong walang ibang gusto kindi punan ng pagmamahal ang kahungkugan at kabiguan na umalipin sa pusong kay tagal nang panahon na nagdusa?

Camila thought she'd hit rock bottom when she discovered her husband's infidelity with her own cousin, but that devastating betrayal turned out to be only the beginning - a life-altering accident would soon strip her of her very identity. But when she was forced to fake her own death and assume a new identity, she realized she had been accidentally given a second chance. This new life came with a new discovery that Camila, the once shameful and disgraceful wife of the powerful Miller family, turned out to be a force to be reckoned with, a rival worthy of respect, and a woman not to be underestimated. Not even her husband stood a chance.

Jika tahu hidupku tak pernah di anggap dan selalu terabai. Kenapa kalian memberikan kehidupan padaku jika berujung aku selalu merasakan dadaku sesak, akan rasa sakit hati. Hingga peristiwa itu terjadi dan aku merasakan rasa sakit hati yang begitu besar. Aku mulai menyadari keinginan akan hadirnya sosok ku sejak awal memang tidak di inginkan. Kenangan buruk yang sudah di torehkan pada ingatanku membuat hidupku penuh akan kegelapan. Namun, aku selalu berpikir masih adakah secercah cahaya untuk menerangi jalan kehidupanku yang penuh akan kegelapan ini? Meskipun hanya sedikit saja?

“Be my wife.” Lucia looked at him, questioning his sanity. “You're out of your mind.I don't even know you ”. Lucas Mariano's voice was icy, his gaze unreadable. “You need help.Your sister requires care.I can help you both.You have quite the image so I'm sure you'll need it. It's transactional-nothing more.”He finished. Once the rising star in the ballet world, Lucia Moretti's life is shaken after a brutal divorce and a terrible fire that leaves her and her sister homeless. Now, with her dreams buried,her heart is guarded and her main focus is keeping both herself and her sister alive. Enter Lucas-Merciless, cold and sinfully compelling.He offers a contract marriage which comes with everything Lucia needs but at a cost she doesn't understand…yet. What started as a formality quickly grows into something far more twisted when her ex-husband,Matt-lucas’s best friend-returns, determined to have her again. “You got married to Lucas?” Matt snarled,fury dripping from his voice. “Is this your revenge?” He continued icily. No, Lucia said without emotion. “This is survival.” As sparks fly and secrets come to light, Lucia Finds herself torn between a past that nearly broke her and a man who might shatter her in a brand new way. In a world of socialites, betrayal and fake love, Lucia must ask herself: Is she the puppet or the one holding the strings?