Crying In Silence Novels & Stories

Pati ang luha ay mas lalong lumabas nang mabilis, hindi niya mapigilan ang sarili na mapatawa sa mga naiisip niya. Baliw na siguro siya, Baliw na dahil sa nangyayari sa kaniya. Masyado siyang madrama at hindi man lamang iniisip na lalake siya. "Ah!shit! Why I'm crying? Dapat masanay ka na Rei, ganyan naman ang ginagawa ng iba, hindi ba? Tumigil ka na, masaya na siya, magiging masaya na siya na wala ka. Ayusin mo ang buhay mo, isipin mo ang pinangako mo sa magulang mo."

Pero hindi ko alam kung kaya ko bang sagutin ang tanong niya sakaling magtatanong ito sa akin. I saw the pain registered in his eyes, at agad niyang iniwas ang tingin niya sa akin ng may nahulog na luha mula sa mga mata niya. I pulled him closer to my body. He's silently crying now. Deuce is a very quiet kid at kahit hindi niya sabihin sa akin ang nararamdaman niya ngayon dama ko ang paghihirap niya.

Damn it! Hindi ko alam kung anong mararamdaman, basta na lang akong nanghina at napaupo sa aking swivel chair –I am losing it; my energy, my strength, when I get to absorbed the information that Dominica Falcon-Estevan was really gone… dead gone. She will never be back to my arms again. I can’t hold her once again. And just the thought of it, was killing me little by little. “Ow! Why are you crying, Boss?”

I sniffed. I am doubting Ate Kim, I am hurt because I know that Rain is hurting as well, I am confused, I am scared of the unknown number who kept on texting me, I am tired with school kahit kakaumpisa pa lang ng semester pakiramdam ko pangfinals na 'yong pagod ko, and all I can do is to cry. I want to share this to Ana but I know that she's facing her own silent battles right now. May buhay rin siya at may buhay rin ako. "Stop crying, love." A soft and familiar voice said.

Kitang kita ko iyon at para akong sinasaksak nang paulit-ulit dahil doon. But he didn't say a thing. His silence made me understand his sorrow and grief. His silence made me understand his anger and agony. His silence made me understand his pain. I smiled bitterly, trying to strengthen myself in front of him kahit pakiramdam ko ay unti-unti rin akong natutunaw.

Sinubukan kong huwag ipakita na natatakot ako. Sinubukan kong maging mature, maging patient. Pero sa loob ko? Hindi ako okay. Hindi ako okay. Hindi ako okay. I feel like I’m slowly losing her. And I’m trying so damn hard not to show it. That Night The Silence That Broke Me Nasa kabilang side siya ng bed. Hindi malayo physically, pero para akong nasa kabilang mundo. She was awake. Her breathing… irregular.

Sila na ang namamahala. My eyes were partly shut, and I heard it being played as I rested my head on the table. Sandaling naimulat ko ang mga mata at nakita ko ang video nito. So this is it? Is this the end of everything? My mind speaks. Hinayaan ko ito at pumatak na ang luha sa mga mata ko. Big boys don't cry, but here I am, crying silently. "It's okay to cry, Reeve because sometimes real man do cry, bro." Ang baritonong boses na ito ang nagpatigil sa hagulgol ko.

His heart dropped. “Fuck…” he mutered under his breath, barely audible but laced with disbelief and rage. Then his eyes settled below the picture. It was a note. Will you be able to find her first… or will he? His vision blurred. Heart tightening. And brain pounding. He never shed a tear before. Even when his father told him his mother was dead because he was taught that crying will only make him weak and won’t help resolve the problem. But now, he can’t help it. Hinayaan niyang tumulo isa isa ang mga luhang kanina pang nagbabadya. Everything is so f’cked up. He’s lost. He silently cried.

Isinandal niya rin ang kanyang likuran sa dingding na kasalungat ng kinalalagyan nito. Grabbing his own hair as he groaned regretfully, dahan-dahan at hinayaan niyang kumawala ang ilang butil ng luha mula sa kanyang mga mata. Tears that suddenly came to him just like telling him it's fine to let it go because of the absence of eyes around him, inside the space where the only one who's allowed was himself, he burst out sobbing quietly. He looked like a child in his posture while he cries.

Nakakahiya na nga sa harap ni Hendricks na hinihiya niya ako kaya't sobra na kung tutumba pa ako roon. Hindi ko na sila nalingon pa, bitbit niya si Hendricks kaya't halata man na gusto niya akong aluin ay hindi niya nagawa. Okay lang. Hindi naman na ako bata. I can console myself. What she did won't make me cry.