I'm Sad Novels & Stories

Pero kahit anong gawin ko hindi ko kayang kalimutan. I live my life alone. Without anyone that I can cry on. Without someone comforting me. No thing at all. Just living with my own sadness. (TO BE CONTINUED...)

Pero ngayong gabi ay kahit isubsob kopa ang sarili ay alam kong hindi ko maisasantabi itong nararamdaman ko. I knew this day would come. It always come. Lalo na kapag matagal akong nag-iisa. I just feel so lonely and so sad. That all I could do is cry because I don't have someone who will comfort me and make me feel that I am not alone.

napalunok ako. "I'm sorry, because of me you're gone. I'm sorry because of me you've suffer a lot. I'm sorry for not protecting you. I know you don't want me to blame my self b-but I can't help it.. because of me you d-died.." I cried in agony while hugging my self.

I can see with their eyes the same sadness I’m having right now. It’s been a month since Aodie in coma, hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses akong umiyak sa kan’ya tuwing kakausapin ko siya. I feel so weak whenever I'm alone with her. Aaminin kong nawawalan na ako ng pag-asa but everytime I’m seeing her family na kumakapit at naniniwalang gigising siya ay minumura ko ang sarili ko.

Kadalasan ay ayaw ko na pumapasok dito dahil pakiramdam ko ay unti-unti rin na nalalagot ang natitira ko na tapang para sa sarili ko. Hindi ko alam kung kailan matatapos ang sakit na nararamdaman ko o kung mawawala pa nga ba ito. Hindi ko alam kung may buhay pa ba na naghihintay para sa amin ng mga anak ko nang wala si Colton sa amin. I am slowly falling into the pit of despair and darkness. And I am drowning into my own sorrow and pain. And right now, I don’t even know how I can survive this.

Seems like this night is one of the many sleepless nights I need to deal with again. My thoughts are far, turbulent and I don't know. I can't explain what I am really feeling. I feel like my head is going to explode. My heart is getting numb and I just want to close my eyes, forget everything. The pain, the sadness and that grief of having someone yet you don't know them at all. Nandidito pa si Miguel pero pakiramdam ko ang layo-layo na n'ya sa'kin.

I need to because I have my Caius and Cairo, my babies. May mga pagkakataon lang talaga na hindi ko mapipigilan na maging ganito. Sobrang sensitive ko at ang dali kong masaktan. "I don't know what you've been through right now but I want to tell you, don't cry for someone who's not worthy of your tears."

“And I’m starting to hate him, too.” I opened my eyes and looked at my son. “Why? Inaway ka ba ng Daddy mo? Or may pinangako ba siya sa ‘yo na hindi niya tinupad?” Umiling ito. “But you’re sad because of him. And I hate everyone who makes you feel sad. I don’t want that. If you’re sad, my sister is probably sad, too.”

She will always motivate me to never give up and that the best is yet to come. One of the toxic traits I have is when I'm sad, I shut everyone out for no reason. But they made me realized that it's not right to just disappear and come back when you're feeling a little bit better. I know that it's hard to explain what we're feeling but I realized something, gagaan ang pakiramdam mo kung magsasabi ka sa mga taong handang umintindi sa'yo.

Walang iba kundi, "Pasensya ka na." Lalo akong naiyak dahil do'n. Naiyak ako sa part na kahit nag sorry na siya, nasasaktan pa rin ako. Kasi hindi sapat ang salitang sorry para mawala lahat ng sakit na inukit niya sa puso ko. "Hindi ko sinasadyang saktan ka noon." dagdag pa niya. "May dahilan kung bakit ko 'yon ginawa. Hindi ko sinasadya 'yon at magpapaliwanag ako sayo ngayon."