I'm Sad Novels & Stories

Maging ang tibok ng puso ko. I’m sorry.

I promised myself na I won't cry for him anymore. Para akong robot na nagtatrabaho, walang pakiramdam. I just feel numb from all the things that happened in my life. Why is my life so sad? Nagiging masaya lang ako sa konting panahon and after sa saya ay balik na naman sa pagiging miserable. I am not only referring to a guy, pati narin sa sitwasyon ko ngayon, wala akong matinong trabaho, di ako nakapagtapos sa pag aaral. I just don't know anymore, my baby is my only hope, siya lang ang makapagpapasaya sakin.

“May mga bagay pa ring kahit anong yaman mo na, hindi mo pa rin makuha-kuha.” “Parang si Ruby Lane, gano’n?” I teased. I know that I should be acting and speaking seriously when he was this sad and all that, but I just cannot. Pakiramdam ko kasi kapag malungkot iyong usually ball of sunshine sa isang team, pamilya, o barkada, you suddenly felt this urge to make them smile and happy again.

Ayaw ko ng magpatuloy pa dahil araw araw akong nagdadalamhati. Noong araw na nakita ako nina Jordan and Seb ay ang araw na halos mabaliw ako sa sakit na kumakain sa pagkatao ko. I miss them so much! I really damn fucking miss them! I keep on hearing my kids cry and giggles. I always see Samantha in my vision too. Isn't it too cruel to suffer from this everyday?

Tatlong buwan ang nakalipas.Pinilit kong maging matapang. Gabi gabi akong umiiyak,gabi gabi akong umiinom. Hindi ako nakakakain sa tamang oras. Ang unit ko ay nagmukha nang kulungan ko. I'm so depressed. I feel so stupid.Kung maaga ko lang sana sinabi kay Rad ang tungkol doon? Ano kaya ang mangyayari? Makikipag hiwalay pa ba siya?

I just want to release all the pain that I am feeling as I remember how hurt his eyes was. I am sorry, babe... I am sorry.

Kaya hanggang ngayon, hindi namin magawang mag-move on. Unfair, isn’t it? They loved us with everything they had, held us so tightly it felt like we’d never be let go—and yet, in the end, they left us hanging. I can’t bring myself to feel anger; it’s not rage that lingers in me… only sadness. A heavy, gnawing sorrow that refuses to fade. I’m still grieving, still learning how to breathe in a world without her.

severe. "Kasalanan ko lahat ng 'to..." I whispered. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry, Ivan..." Repeatedly, I apologized and cried my heart out. I feel so broken. I'm helpless and angry at myself for causing all of these troubles. Dito pa lang, natatakot na ako para sa anak ko. I'm like a living misfortune. I don't want him to experience the worst from me. Wala na sa akin ang lahat. I lost my best friends and soon, my husband. Hindi rin malabo na magagalit sa akin ang mga magulang ko at ni Ivan dahil sa nangyari.

I hate it when I see the sadness in her eyes at alam kong galing pa ito sa pag-iyak. Hindi naman pala siya masayang nagpakita siya rito, so why the hell she is here?! I don't want to see her sad. Gusto kong makita yung mapang-asar na si Zay. I feel like that will be my weakness now—to see her sad.

Please forgive me. Matapos kong i-send ang message ko ay kaagad akong suminghap at pumikit ng mariin. Ramdam ko na ang pagbabadyang tumulo ng mga luha ko kaya tuminghala ako. I hate my birthday. I hate this day.