I'm Sad Novels & Stories

New set of tears rolled my cheeks nang makamdaman ng sakit sa aking puson. I panicked. Lalo lamang dumagdag ang pangamba ko. I'm sorry baby. Sorry kung hindi mo na makikita pa ang mundo. Mommy's really tired. Really really tired. I imagined myself holding you with my arms, play with you, and even take pictures as you grow older. I want you to experience the love and care my Mama has given me. Sorry kung mabilis akong sumuko. Sorry kung mahina si Mommy. Sorry, baby.

Napakunot ang aking noo, mukhang gusto niya na talaga akong makaalis sa puder niya. Napatingin ako sa kawalan nang maalala ko ang araw na 'yon. Hindi ko inakalang gagawian sa akin ni Zach ang mga bagay na 'yon, labis akong nasasaktan pero huli na. Ako rin naman ang may kagagawan ng lahat. "Why so sad?" my mom asked. I looked at her and a tear escaped my eyes.

I just really don't know na ganoon pala iyon kahalaga. Fuck! Di magkamayaw ang puso ko sa pagwawala. Tears keep on flowing. Hindi ko maipaliwanag yung sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon. Hirap na hirap na nga ako dahil sa pagkawala ni Amari tapos ngayon nalaman ko pa ang isang napakalaking kasalanan ko!

Kaso minsan, kahit hindi natin gusto, maiiwan at may iiwanan tayo. All I want is to be happy. But God didn't let me. I am so scared right now, Love. I really want to end my life para hindi ko na maramdaman ang sakit. I am so drain. Hindi ko na kaya. Pagod ako. Nasasaktan ako. Nahihirapan ako.

Hawakan ko pa sana siya pero tumakbo na ito palabas. She looks sad at sana hindi ako ang dahilan. I'm hurt seeing her hurt. What should I do?

"I'm so lonely na, I don't have anyone to rest my head on their shoulders when I'm sad." I sighed in despair. "Kahit naman siguro nandito ang parents ko even though I wanted to breakdown and kick and scream in front of them, I couldn't." Fvck. It hurts. "B-but, I just don't want my parents coming in and seeing me broken so instead, I'll just sit here deep within my thoughts."

Call He looks gloomy, dark and daunting. All negative darkness that can be named is within him. He's just... sad for his mom. As much as I want to comfort him, I don't know how. Ito ang unang beses sa buhay ko na may iisang tao sa paligid ko na ganito kalungkot. Ganito ka-problemado. Ganito kadilim. At ngayon ko lang narealize na hindi ko alam kung paano maiibsan 'yong nararamdaman nila. I haven't experienced this yet, and no one around me ever experienced this, too. They are all... contented and happy in their respective lives.

Hindi ko alam kung mababaliw ba ako sa pangungulila o ano. What I feel is a mix of that feeling when you want something so bad and yet you know it is already a dead end for you to obtain it, and sadness; that same sadness that feels like a perfect concoction of grief and sorrow. Sobrang hirap na dala-dala ko 'to sa loob ko sa araw-araw na yata ng buhay ko, and it is with a heavy heart for me to say that it is what I exactly feel right now as I follow the direction from which the noises were coming from.

Kaya hindi ko mapigilang malungkot at magtampo. I know he's busy and tired from working all night. I understand him. But I still can't stop feeling this way. It's like I have no value here anymore. He doesn't even notice the things I do anymore, it's like I'm having a hard time reaching him again. It's so sad, and so lonely.

I can finally let go all of the pain, lahat ng sakit. “Malaya kana, hindi na ako mang-gugulo pa Dave. Salamat talaga sa lahat, at pasensya kana. Ginulo pa kita samantalang masaya kana dito, I am really sorry.” I start crying and break down all of the pain.